Age Difference

Discussion in 'Community Discussion' started by Spock, Nov 6, 2005.

  1. Spock macrumors 68000


    Jan 6, 2002
    Ok, I need opinions on a age difference between a 17 Year Old Girl and a 21 Year Old Guy. Im not going into detail just want to know, its a weird family problem and I want some opinions.
  2. CanadaRAM macrumors G5


    Oct 11, 2004
    On the Left Coast - Victoria BC Canada
    Important distinction is whether 17 has reached the age of majority in that community...
  3. Spock thread starter macrumors 68000


    Jan 6, 2002
    Yes, if you are meaning consent wise
  4. dubbz macrumors 68020


    Sep 3, 2003
    Alta, Norway
    Then I don't see much of a problem. That 4 year difference is nothing.
  5. superbovine macrumors 68030


    Nov 7, 2003
    assuming that 17 is the age of consent then all you have to deal with is how mature is each party is and weather or not they can handle the relationship. in 4 years, when she is 21 and he is 25 it isn't that big a deal. girls tend to be more mature than guys. although, i would say people that grew up in america that are between 17-22 are still pretty ignorant about life; so don't hold your breath.
  6. OnceUGoMac macrumors 6502a


    Mar 3, 2004
    Although it's only a difference of 4 years, a 21 year old is more advanced in life than a 17 year old. Basically, it's a drinking-aged college grad versus a high schooler. When I was 21, I had no interest in even talking to a high schooler, let alone dating them. It sounds like there's some arrested development going on.
  7. lem0n macrumors regular


    Mar 12, 2005
    well, it have to base on the maturity of both person... being 17, I know that lots of people this age are just kids but think they know everything... thanks to my parents, I have become independent at a very young age [they have been sending me abroad ever since I was 10]... sometimes I think I think I'm mature enough for anything but it takes things like needing a guardian in Italy so I can go to university there to remind me I'm still a kid :p [I like being a kid... ^__^] So if you see any suspicious acts on the part of the guy or if he has any bad influence on her, it's time to remind her she's still a kid and you might know more and have reasons to discourage it...
  8. Chundles macrumors G4


    Jul 4, 2005
    It's not too bad a problem, just remember that the 21 year old is likely to want a "mature" relationship and if the 17 year old is not up to it then the 17 year old should end the relationship. Just cause they're older it doesn't make them a better partner.
  9. Lacero macrumors 604


    Jan 20, 2005
    Wait 2 more years and the difference in their ages would not be much of an issue. But yeah, 17 is just 1 year past 16, which I would consider really too young for any serious dating.
  10. Lacero macrumors 604


    Jan 20, 2005
    A 21 year old guy can be super horny and he has the means to fill out those needs without requiring a tube of grease, a magazine or dvd rentals. A 17-year old girl is on the cusps of legalized carnal womanhood -- put those two types of people together and its an explosive mix.
  11. Abstract macrumors Penryn


    Dec 27, 2002
    Location Location Location

    The difference between a 17 and 21 year old is usually huge, whereas the difference between a 21 and 25 year old is usually much less.

    I know that many of you will say it's a matter of maturity, but very rarely have I ever met a 17 year old mature enough to seriously date a 21 year old, regardless of whether the girl is older, or the guy is older. If a 17 year old is mature enough to date a 21 year old, either the 17 year old is very mature, the 21 year old is immature, or a combination of the two.

    Either way, I think its accurate for me to say that the biggest change I have experienced as a person happened between the ages of 19-22, so this 4 year difference is massive, IMO.
  12. MrSmith macrumors 68040


    Nov 27, 2003
    Wait till you're 40 :D :D
  13. Deepdale macrumors 68000


    May 4, 2005
    New York
    That reply provided a laugh because with each decade there are shifting views of every issue that a person had to deal with in life. Back to the question posed: I believe that there is a real difference in maturity and readiness between 17 and 21 year olds.

    As others mentioned, that gap basically vanishes in 4 or 5 years. There are doubtless plenty of times in which parties that age have established a relationship and had it become long-term, but I have a degree of real skepticism. Despite decent intentions, it can be tough dealing with issues that arise ... especially for the girl.
  14. Mr. Anderson Moderator emeritus

    Mr. Anderson

    Nov 1, 2001
    I once dated a woman 13 years younger - it was tough sometimes to relate to what was important to each other.

    However, 4 years is nothing, really. The biggest issue is school and going out for a drink. It would be a bit awkward going to a bar or party with someone who is at a different stage of life. If you can get over that, its fine. Basically its going to depend on the individuals involved.

  15. r1ch4rd macrumors 6502a


    Aug 5, 2005
    Manchester UK
    My girlfriend is 17 and I am 20, it's similar, we get on very well indeed.
  16. gwuMACaddict macrumors 68040


    Apr 21, 2003
    washington dc
    21 and 17 is a huge difference.

    41 and 37 wouldn't be... it's all relative (ha- bad pun, you said it was a fam issue :D )
  17. cr2sh macrumors 68030


    May 28, 2002
    Same here.. the end of college was huge for me.

    The same with the prior 4 years though.

    And the most recent 4 years.

    Either way, she's 17 years old. Assuming you're talking about a relationship... don't kid yourself. She's a child. There is no way she's ready for the long term type of stuff that this level of drama is depicting.

  18. stonyc macrumors 65816


    Feb 15, 2005
    I agree, 4 years is absolutely nothing... in general. It all depends on the parties involved.

    My wife's cousin dated, and actually just got engaged to someone 12-13 years older than her (they started dating when she was 18, he was 30... try that one on for size!).

    I also know two people, though not 4 years apart, were dating while one was still in highschool (for a couple years) and the other in college.
  19. Macaddicttt macrumors 6502a


    Apr 22, 2004
    San Diego, CA
    It all depends on the girl. If she's mature enough, then it's fine. Right now I'm 19 and dating a 16 year-old girl (well, she's almost 17), and although sometimes the whole college/high school difference is apparent, it isn't really a big deal because she can handle it.

    I guess it also depends on the guy, too. If he's just after sex, it's a problem. Just look at the two people and see what they want out of the relationship. If they are seriously interested in each other for a serious relationship, then it's fine. If the guy is just after sex or is taking advantage of the girl's age, or if the girl is just after the "glamor" or dating a college guy, then it's no good.
  20. miloblithe macrumors 68020


    Nov 14, 2003
    Washington, DC
    Without details, the question doesn't really work. There's nothing categorical about 21/17. It depends on the people, what they are doing with their lives, their maturity, their mutual intentions, and so on.
  21. cr2sh macrumors 68030


    May 28, 2002
    I'm officially unsubscribing from this thread. I dunno.. its kinda creeping me out.
  22. Spock thread starter macrumors 68000


    Jan 6, 2002
    Im almost 100% sure its not about about sex.They just want to go out to a movie or dinner every now and then more like friends then anything nothing serious.
  23. Sun Baked macrumors G5

    Sun Baked

    May 19, 2002
    No, the officially creepy version would have been the 80+ year old man and the 17 year old girl having a rather loud sexual relationship. :p

    Then there are the 80 year old grannies doing it with the 17 year old studs...
  24. yellow Moderator emeritus


    Oct 21, 2003
    Portland, OR
    4 years is a HUGE difference at this early point in your lives. For example, a 17 year old may not have finished high school, and a 21 year is poised to finish college. That alone sounds like a huge difference to me.. extrapolate life experiences from there as you will.

    Later on in life (late 20s, early 30s), 4 years doesn't mean a thing.
  25. mpw Guest

    Jun 18, 2004
    I'm guessing you're in the US as 21/17 wouldn't be unusual here and certainly not weird.
    I know when I was 17 I’d have had no problem with a 21year old partner and vice-versa.
    I’m in my very late 20’s now and if I was on the market wouldn’t turn down a 17year old on age alone.

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