For you. For you.
You are attempting to deflect taking responsibility for your setup and the choices you make onto the rest of us. Each person in this thread could probably point to some feature or function of MacOS they find difficult or unacceptable—I certainly have my list. But, I also use a suite of Macs to run my business, and all perform to their given task admirably and with a level of reliability I require. Narrow focus, purposeful use-cases, avoid known-problematic combinations. This has been true since the days of the first 8-bit computers and will not change now or at any point in the future. It is your responsibility, not Apple's, to formulate the functional baseline you need to the standards you require.
And if you can't achieve that with a Mac, you seek out an alternative platform that does. These are practical tools, not lifestyle choices. Apple will pursue the priorities it feels are important for the reasons it believes are defensible. Believing you can influence Apple's pathway is not rooted in reality. They make their decisions, we make ours.
Since you think the original poster is basing his opinion on his current setup, allow me to weigh in.
I switched to Macs when they started their Intel era in 2006. My MBPs all came with 16GB RAM at those times. With the earlier macOSs, I had few problems.
But in later years...
For an entire year, I could not run Mojave at all. It contained a macOS daemon which bricked my computer all because I had the audacity to use custom icons on some of my files. When I reverted back to High Sierra, all was well. Apple fixed the bug only in their next full major OS release, i.e. a year later.
Then came a different OS daemon bug which decided to allocate 64GB RAM on my 16GB machine. The only way to recover was to KILL the daemon. Apple eventually fixed this bug too after I told them about it.
Next, my computer became mostly unresponsive for 5-10 minutes whenever Time Machine backed up to a network drive located on my NAS. TM took this long because the kernel would hang while it waited for a UNIX umount shell command to finish (i.e., timeout) while it tried to unmount the TM network drive. A KILL on the umount command would fix the problem. I informed Apple and even gave them the umount shell command for them to look at. My own workaround was to schedule my TM backups to two per day. Apple took several months to address this.
I had issues transferring my eBook to my iPad from my Mac. I created an epub file using Scrivener. Next, I started Apple's Books app so I could drag and drop the epub file into my book library for transfer to my iPad. This would work a couple times then break. The file would sit there forever on my Mac until I KILLed Apple's icloud daemon. (Note: It took me a while to troubleshoot this problem) Then the epub file would transfer instantly over to my iPad and I could read it using the iPad Books app.
Now for the present. I run a number of third-party apps. One of them is called, iStat Menus. As a power user, I like to monitor my computer in realtime. I am forced to reboot my 64GB MBP every 4-5 days. After a reboot, I use about 20% RAM with no one app/daemon using more than 175MB at MOST. Most apps that I run use a small amount of memory, at first.
To be brief, there is a memory leak in one or more of Apple's shared libraries. App memory usage grows hourly. My current UPTIME is 3 days 22 hours and my machine is using 60% RAM. Apple's WindowServer (GUI) is using 2.1GB, Little Snitch Extension is using 1.3GB, Apple Music (iTunes) is using 848MB, Path Finder is using 681MB, Apple Mail is using 613MB, Spotlight is using 385MB. Way more than any one should be using.
I have told Apple about this problem--which existed in the previous macOS--over and over and over, but they seem unable/unwilling to fix it. My point in this dissertation is simple. The original poster is right. Each subsequent major release of the macOS will contain shiny new bells and whistles, but that doesn't make it better or more stable than previous releases. The above-mentioned bugs are serious and all of them are owned by Apple. They exist in Apple's own software and should never have been released. This has nothing to do what third-party software I run (or the configuration of the original poster's system). There is nothing weird or exotic about apps like iStat or Bartender. Thousands run these apps.
Every year, I submit at least a half-dozen bug reports. I never ever hear back from Apple on any of them. Some get fixed. Sometimes the fix doesn't fix anything. It seems purely random as to what changes. In certain cases, I have complained till I am literally blue in the face, but my complaints fall on cemented ears. (Shame on you Apple!)
Each year, Apple puts out what they call a new and better OS. But that's not true anymore, and it has not been true for some time. They are sacrificing stability and reliability for the sake of new features. They need to step back and clean up their mess--which goes by the name of "macOS."
One additional thing I want to add: When I reboot, I get the login screen, and I enter my password. The boot process gets through about 20% (based on the horizontal line indicator) before the OS crashes. I am put back at the login screen where I have to re-enter my password. When my system finally restarts, I am greeted with a popup dialog which states the system did not shutdown properly and do I want to start my previously open applications. Yes ... very stable macOS.