I have a high functioning autism, so I am considered to be "retarded." I take offense greatly to anyone who misuses the word...I have tried very hard to not gain such a high temper over it, but I have had meltdowns recently. It really bugs me when full grown adults, use words like "retarded" I call these types of words "sewage terms." I do not get it at all, my best friend said "I was being retarded"..I knew enough to put my MacBook down, carefully, as to not damage it, but I damaged everything around it, walls, doors, broke a window, and everything in the room turned into a Hurricane Katrina site...except for the MacBook..and people. I knew also to not hurt any people...only inanimate objects...during the period of this meltdown. My doctor says meltdowns like this are common for someone with my type of autism. What I do not get is, how did I get enough control to know not to damage the MacBook, or hit any humans? Why is it that I can control my anger to be careful with those, but not with the rest of the stuff around me? I had not realized what I have done until the action was already done. Something I have to mention, I am usually able to let it pass when other people say the word retarded, but when it came from my best friend, I just went into total meltdown mode. It is as if having it come from a person I cared about, just triggered something in me, while only retaining a little bit of self control to know not to hurt any humans..or the MacBook. Also, to add, I do hold anger in, because I do not ever want to have a meltdown in public, this has happened once in the parking lot of a target, and I got to spend some time "on the other side of the law" and forced restitution for the damaged plants I have destroyed. Just asking for some advice is all, I have seen doctors and stuff a'plenty, and it seems they have done all they can do, unless a mental institution really has to be my next stop. I have never ever ever once had touched a person during any meltdown I have had in the past, and I do not own or plan to own any guns. I have been picked on & beaten up a lot throughout gradeschool however. I was the "uncool" kid, and have not attended any school dance or prom.