Hypothetically, if I used the word, which I don't and the OP was around, I would have no clue that he/she would take offense to the word so much to become physically angry.
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Anger Management issues and me..social problems
- Thread starter dontwalkhand
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Hypothetically, if I used the word, which I don't and the OP was around, I would have no clue that he/she would take offense to the word so much to become physically angry.
Social expression is often difficult for an individual with an ASD. Autism is characterized by impaired social interaction and communication skills. Having that talk about the use of the word "retarded" is not necessarily an easy thing to do. I recommend it but the OP may have a difficult time doing that.
OP: I'm not trying to speak for you and please correct me if I am in any way misconstruing your position.
My roommate's brother is a high-functioning autistic, so I know what you mean. I'd never use the word in front of him because I know it would be wrong. His best friend should have as well.
For sure. I tend to "scald" individuals (including some of my staff) for using that word improperly but as annoying as it is, the fact is it has become a slang term and has been for a while...
The irritating thing about my staff using that word is I run a residential program for children with low functioning autism.
It's not. Like others said- this courtesy should also apply in the other thread, but doesn't for some reason.
Back OT- hopefully talking about this is helping the OP. I assume that's why he posted in the first place, just to get out some frustration.
So we can never say anything in the presence of others that someone might, possibly take offense to?
Makes sense to me...
So we can never say anything in the presence of others that someone might, possibly take offense to?
Makes sense to me...
It does make sense... it's it's called having a social conscious.
Obviously you have not been out in society or heard the ridiculous things that people take offense to.
You think it's alright to say something is "retarded" in front of a friend who is autistic? Do you have any sense of propriety?
If you refrain from saying anything that might possibly be taken offense to, how do you say anything?
Here, look:
sporadicMotion said:
I take offense to you implying that I have no social consciousness.
See how silly it is?
I think assuming that an autistic person would be offended by calling something "retarded" is more offensive, because then, after all, you're assuming that autism is the same thing as being retarded.
EDIT: The more I think about it, the more holding one's tongue in front of an autistic person is offensive. I know that if I had a medical condition, I wouldn't want people treating me differently because of it.
I find that a bit alarming as well. Macaddicttt, are you here to help out the OP, or is there some other ax you have to grind today?
I'm trying to shift the blame-fest that's going on in this thread on the friend. This guy has a problem, and ragging on the friend for doing something accidentally gets him nowhere.
Speaking of grinding axes, I'm curious as to how you were helping the OP by comparing this to calling things "gay."
Umm- you clearly don't understand autism. And I don't necessarily think the OP was "ragging" on his friend. I think he was getting down on himself for his extreme reaction to it. But if you think the friend holds no responsibility here, then I don't know what to tell you.
I wasn't- someone else compared it, and I responded. It's clearly related in a certain way, but does nothing for the OP. And you've brought it up yet again and I've responded.
I am not however using a word that society has manipulated to become derogatory. If that had then it would have been a different case. You need to think of the word and what context it is being used in by today's society.
I never said the OP was ragging on his friend. He has the right attitude: "I have a problem and I need some help."
The same cannot be said about everyone in this thread.
Sure the friend is remotely to blame, but who doesn't stick their foot in their mouths every once in a while? Even if the friend were to never do it again, it doesn't solve the problem. I guess I just don't see the point of placing blame on the friend.
I'm not qualified to give the OP any advice, but I think he's at least on the right track.
I ride bikes. Go find a nice road bike on Craigslist or at your Local Bike Shop and then go find a nice big hill. Go up that hill as many times as you can. Do it everyday.
I've been recently looking at bikes on craigslist too! Haven't found the right one yet.
I think that is where you are missing the point on ASD. They have no access to soical cues like the rest of us nor can they do things like that.
I personly have feel everyone try to be way to PC. I am sorry but you want to be great on PC then you can say nothing at all.
Now back on the original top for the OP. (2nd post just to separate out the 2 different things)
From your post post I can tell your friend was not calling you a retard or anything like that. But was pointing out something was not right like said action was not smart or you where acting stupid. I know to people with out ASD would be able to see that but I know you lack the ability to pick up social cues and read things like that. I think after you look at it after the fact you can see it. But that is beside the point.
I have been told by people who know me they can tell I have several ASD tendancy not enough to be classified to have ASD. I have my own list of problem. Most of my problems stem from Dyslexia and people here will noticed my post have a lot of grammar errors or mess up words that is quite common with my type of Dyslexia. Also I have a lot of the common things that Dyslexics have. Like I am ADHD, suffer from chronic depression, very mild speech problem, and ASD tenancies.
I do have my own anger out bust where I tend to break stuff or things go flying. For me how I try to control my anger on things like that is try to put in my own mental blocks when I feel it happening or something setting me off. The mental blocks just have to hold on long enough for my logic side to gain control and give me a chance to dump the frustration into something else. For me I trend to try to pull in and dump it in to playing my 360. The video games give me a release from the rest of the world and it allows me to block out everything else.
My advice is find something close at hand that you can pull away with and focus on when losing it. for me it turns out to be video games.
From your post post I can tell your friend was not calling you a retard or anything like that. But was pointing out something was not right like said action was not smart or you where acting stupid. I know to people with out ASD would be able to see that but I know you lack the ability to pick up social cues and read things like that. I think after you look at it after the fact you can see it. But that is beside the point.
I have been told by people who know me they can tell I have several ASD tendancy not enough to be classified to have ASD. I have my own list of problem. Most of my problems stem from Dyslexia and people here will noticed my post have a lot of grammar errors or mess up words that is quite common with my type of Dyslexia. Also I have a lot of the common things that Dyslexics have. Like I am ADHD, suffer from chronic depression, very mild speech problem, and ASD tenancies.
I do have my own anger out bust where I tend to break stuff or things go flying. For me how I try to control my anger on things like that is try to put in my own mental blocks when I feel it happening or something setting me off. The mental blocks just have to hold on long enough for my logic side to gain control and give me a chance to dump the frustration into something else. For me I trend to try to pull in and dump it in to playing my 360. The video games give me a release from the rest of the world and it allows me to block out everything else.
My advice is find something close at hand that you can pull away with and focus on when losing it. for me it turns out to be video games.
Although I feel sorry for the OP, censoring the speech of everyone around him whether they are friends or not is simply not practical. People will eventually choose not to be his friend or associate with him if they become susceptible to irrational rage. No chance of landing a decent job or attending college either. Expecting the world to conform to you is not going to happen. How did the OP get through High School--was it a school set up for special needs?
The better route would be for the OP to explore *why* he feels so angry when certain words are uttered and reacts in the way he does. This may be significantly harder for him since he is autistic -- but really there is no choice. He says he's already been to various professionals about this--perhaps there is a resistance to treatment?
He doesn't sound as if he's resisting treatment. It sounds just the opposite to me. There are things about autism that I think a lot of us simply don't understand. I'm sure he's doing everything in his power to control this, it simply may not always be possible.
No, you just generalized the entire population and in that case I was not making any statement about any individual with any sort of ASD. I was commenting on that members statement.
People can actually go to a doctor/therapist (or many) and still resist the actual treatment because they don't like it. College students get suspended from my university every month for angry outbursts, psychotic episodes and extreme depression. Most of the time it is because the student willingly decided to not take their prescribed medication and/or attend therapy sessions. This is resisting treatment. I honestly don't know if the OP is trying to fool himself in the same way or not -- but I thought I would suggest it for his own consideration.