I try to ignore the holiday as much as possible. I Know that’s not a popular view
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Anyone here not a holiday person
- Thread starter V_Man
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I try to ignore the holiday as much as possible. I Know that’s not a popular view
Is there a cathartic reason for the OP, or are you wanting to bring others down to your level, because you are bored?
If you are one of the ones that aren't religious, or don't like this particular holiday, (for whatever reason) there is nothing preventing you from going about engaging in activities that bring you inner solace of some kind. Being miserable this time of year is a conscious decision you are making. What people do in relation to observance, should have no direct bearing on your inner homeostasis.
If you end up traveling to be with family members, be thankful you are alive and can be with people that know and love you, in spite of all your moral frailties.
In essence, you are complaining for the sake of complaining, and wanting others to join in on your self-induced pity party.
In spite of all your negative cheering, I wish you well.
If you are one of the ones that aren't religious, or don't like this particular holiday, (for whatever reason) there is nothing preventing you from going about engaging in activities that bring you inner solace of some kind. Being miserable this time of year is a conscious decision you are making. What people do in relation to observance, should have no direct bearing on your inner homeostasis.
If you end up traveling to be with family members, be thankful you are alive and can be with people that know and love you, in spite of all your moral frailties.
In essence, you are complaining for the sake of complaining, and wanting others to join in on your self-induced pity party.
In spite of all your negative cheering, I wish you well.
your boilerplate optimism is laudatory - basically great even
blaming troubled people for not sharing your point of view though ...
I don't consider it a waste of time or money. I am cognizant that others celebrate Christmas (or Hanukkah). And to those people I advocate for and hope they are happy and secure in their homes during this season. I find that by helping others brings me great happiness and satisfaction. My entire family passed away over 20 years ago and I am the only one left. As I've said here before, I've been a long time financial supporter of the Innocence Project. The joy that I see from families reunited when all hope was seemingly lost is just a big feel good experience. My life is not about me - it is about what can I do for others. My work keeps me quite busy and I derive a great deal of satisfaction from that. I enjoy traveling and meeting new friends and taking time for myself - but my focus is always about helping others. I don't know how much time I have left on this planet - the clock is always ticking - but while I'm here I will do whatever I can to make it a better place for the people I come in contact with.
Your own words betray you. The fact that you took time to create this thread says otherwise.
1). Even though you say you aren't a social person etc. you wish to interact with others on this forum, when you can dictate your terms.
2) You say that you aren't social, don''t do much of anything, not a fan of most people etc. And yet, what many other people are doing this time of year bothers you. If your words were true, how some other people chose to celebrate (or not) this time of year should not affect you. You still have the power to decide what you do, where you go, and if you want to interact with family or anyone else.
3) This time of year, (even though you don't care about it) is not about you or any other single person. Each and every day is not about you, me or any one else. Each and every day is ultimately about "us" as a species, a family, and community etc.
4) You stated you aren't a social person and prefer to be by yourself etc. And at the same time, you mention the importance of family and being in a relationship with a girlfriend who has a child. Those two things are diametrically opposed to one another.
5) The holiday season can be traumatic for many people due to past PTSD induced events. I don't believe that that applies here.
As I said in my previous post, your own words betray you.
Your words do paint the picture of someone who feels the need to control things on your terms, even if activities you engage in at times involve other people. You may say that you keep to yourself when your girlfriend and her child are watching Christmas movies. I don't think you keep quiet. I think you make a point (over and over) to verbalize your discontent (on many different levels) to her and many other people. And when you can't be in control, the discontent and resentment levels increase, both inwardly and outwardly, thus causing you and others to want to stay somewhat removed from you. Given what you have said, you are merely using the "holiday season" as an excuse for what is really typical daily behavior with you. The only real difference is you can't truly control what others in your direct and peripheral groups (such as they are) do, which brings out the season is superficial rhetoric etc.
Asking if there is anyone else in the world currently miserable during this holiday is asking the question to a problem you already know the answer to.
And for someone who claims to be anti-social, it is rather illogical to take the effort to create such a thread asking the question you already know the answer to, especially one that involves other people.
There is nothing wrong with looking for help or trying to find solace with others in life situations that may be overwhelming. At times, we all need those things. And for some, it can be a harder when one is suffering from mental or physical ailments.
Your OP wasn't predicated on those terms, in my opinion, at least not in the objective and balanced manner. I do believe you created the thread to affirm to yourself, your negative views, words, and actions right now.
In my opinion, you need to start being honest with yourself. You haven't been completely honest in this thread. Once you are willing to be honest and forthright, you can begin to actively engage yourself, your family, your friends and society at large, in a more healthy manner on a regular basis.
What you are doing in the this thread is trying to reinforce your negative behavior through negative actions.
I am not buying what you are selling, OP. I see what is going on. Deep down, you may as well. You aren't ready to face yourself, yet. I hope one day you do face yourself and start listening.
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Not blaming him for not sharing my festive holiday spirit. Not at all. I am merely point out he isn't being honest with himself or us. There is much more going on here.
For the most part, I like Christmas and New Year.
What I have a problem with is not the actual holidays themselves or what they represent. I have issues with the impediments to enjoying them.
As a teenager and young adult I didn't have to worry about money. Hell, even after getting married there was still enough money (barely) to enjoy the holidays even if it was now our own money we were spending.
After kids…then you've got a choice. My wife and I haven't given each other serious gifts in over a decade. Any extra money that wasn't going to rent/utilities/food/gas/necessities went to getting the kids something. Usually that's nothing close to what I want to get them. Every year, family sends us money for gifts. That usually gets used to pay bills instead of buying gifts - because having the lights on is more important.
Of course, the spirit of the season is what it's all about - but it gets old after a while when that's the only thing about the season you can experience. I'm happy the bills are paid of course, but it'd be nice to be able to buy the things I'd really like for my family.
I wish I could say I enjoyed what most seem to have - spending time with the friends and family. But outside of my wife and my kids, the nature of our families has mandated that we live far enough away so that visits are planned and limited. I will just leave it at that.
The biggest thing I object to though is the commercialization of Christmas. When I was growing up, Christmas didn't start until the day after Thanksgiving. Now it seems to happen after Halloween - all because retailers want your money. Kind of hard to be in the Christmas spirit when it's being pushed on you out of season because a company wants to make a buck off you.
Don't get me started on Valentine's Day. Now there's a greeting card holiday I truly despise.
I don’t really celebrate holidays anymore since my parents are both gone. Mom passed in January 2006 and my dad on Father’s Day 2001. Every holiday is just another day for me.
I don’t celebrate Christmas. I used to but for reasons I won’t go into right now we don’t anymore.
My biggest problem with this time of year is the insistence that you must do something special for Christmas? People try and impose their traditions and beliefs on you. They want an explanation why you aren’t going to the Christmas party or why you are not partaking in office secret Santa. There is no free will.
No thank you I don’t want to wear a stupid hat or jumper. I’m quite happy in my regular work attire today.
I’ve got three days off work and I will enjoy the headway I make with some DIY. Stripping wallpaper, a bit of gardening if the weather is good.
Then in January I can go back to work and listen to everyone moan about how much weight they have put on (not sure what greed and gluttony have to do with the original Christmas message), and how skint they are.
My biggest problem with this time of year is the insistence that you must do something special for Christmas? People try and impose their traditions and beliefs on you. They want an explanation why you aren’t going to the Christmas party or why you are not partaking in office secret Santa. There is no free will.
No thank you I don’t want to wear a stupid hat or jumper. I’m quite happy in my regular work attire today.
I’ve got three days off work and I will enjoy the headway I make with some DIY. Stripping wallpaper, a bit of gardening if the weather is good.
Then in January I can go back to work and listen to everyone moan about how much weight they have put on (not sure what greed and gluttony have to do with the original Christmas message), and how skint they are.
Wow dude. A internet shrink. Thanks for the free diagnosis. Now I understand. /s
This is why I dislike most people. I make a simple post about how I don’t like the holiday time. Then come these kind of people.
I have mental health issues. Not a surprise with my attitude on life. I come here for limited contact with others. Where I can easily walk away if needed. And because I enjoy my Apple toys.
What’s going on is “I hate Christmas”. It’s just another reason that people put on fake happy faces and lie to themselves about life.
So thanks again for the diagnosis.
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I’d like to thank you for starting this thread.
Reading the OP and subsequent posts gave me the opportunity to reflect on my own feelings about the holidays, and Christmas in particular.
I will confess to at times feeling much the same sentiment expressed in the OP. It’s a rough place to be in this time of year.
Now I look at the holidays as a time to celebrate at a time when the nights are long and cold in this neck of the woods. As I understood the Pagans did, as mentioned by @Scepticalscribe.
I also am able to enjoy the fact that Christians joyfully celebrate the birth of Jesus, even though I am not a Christian. I have many Christian friends, and I believe that most of them find true meaning in Christmas.
And as little as it’s visibly practiced around here, I enjoy the celebration of the Festival of Lights, even though I’m not Jewish.
But the main problem I have with the holidays is one of unrealistic expectations, and the perceived pressure to spend money on gifts, because it’s Christmas.
And I eat way too much, because of the awesome variety of good food all too readily available.
Both of those problems are, of course, personal problems. Somewhere along the line I realized that I don’t have to share those unrealistic expectations, or feel bad about indulging, so long as I do something about it.
And as uncomfortable as I sometimes am in groups of people, I find that making an effort to extend kindness in my interactions with people on an individual basis somehow makes me feel a whole lot better about people in general.
Which brings us to New Years. Now I use it as a time to reflect on what’s gone on before, and how I can become a better person going forward. Realistically. I don’t make resolutions a such, but attempt to incorporate the lessons of the past year or years into my daily consciousness, so that I can grow emotionally and spiritually.
@V_Man - I get it. I believe I pretty much know how you feel.
Sorry for the long post, but all I can tell you is that I‘ve made the choice to look at the holidays differently, and as a result am finding more joy and less sorrow in my life. Occasionally I have to remind myself of that choice.
I wish you the very best in finding joy in your life, particularly during this holiday.
Your a bit mistaken. Dead Sea is Dead Sea because of its uninhabitable water for fish and plants.
What you describe could be any Ocean because there is no outlet.
A most thoughtful and intelligent post, and thank you for taking the time to write it.
Thanks for the pleasant post. Not a lecture on why I’m wrong. Everyone is different. Not everyone enjoys the same thing. According to some people here that wrong.
Live and let live is what I say. You should have free choice to not celebrate a holiday in my opinion.
I typically keep to myself and dont spend time with them when the movies are on. If that upsets them. That’s on them.
Fair enough.
But - and this is what I think @BasicGreatGuy was driving at - does your negativity about this day - seep into creating a general killjoy atmosphere for others, such as those who may wish to celebrate or otherwise acknowledge the day?
I agree.
But, while I have no quarrel with those who argue that the feast is over commercialised (which is something I regret), and acknowledge that some have no reason to celebrate it (personally, I dislike winter, and am somewhat conflicted this year, as my mother passed away just before Christmas last year, which lends a very bitter-sweet flavour to acknowledging this Christmas this year), nevertheless, I also think that those for whom the festival means little or nothing do not need to disparage those who do find within the festival - whether the solstice, Christianity, time to spend with friends and/or family, or worshipping at the greedy shrine of flagrant consumerism, - should also be allowed - and even encouraged - to enjoy themselves.
I have no problem with people choosing to celebrate Christmas how they see fit. What I do have a problem with though is that people don’t seem to accept you don’t want to acknowledge the holiday.
It’s not even remotely considered an option.
No, it is also on you.
You have a choice not only in how miserable you are, but in how you choose to express that sense of - or feeling of - negativity.
Moreover, to my mind, while you have the right - the perfect right - to be miserable, that right does not include - or extend to - the right to insist that others are made miserable by your misery.
That is when it becomes controlling and almost self-indulgent, and that is where I think that @BasicGreatGuy had a point in the post he made earlier.
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That is fair enough.
Yeah, the overblown expectations can ruin it. Dean Burnett (neuroscientist, author) wrote a good article a few years back: Festive stress: why the Christmas season can be anything but merry
One thing that bugs me the most is when it all gets competitive to the point of rudeness. For example, there were some very inconsiderate and pushy people out shopping yesterday. It sort of misses the point, doesn’t it?