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Anyone here not a holiday person
- Thread starter V_Man
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Agreed.
I think that some people can become a slave to what they perceive (or have been sold, or brought up with) as Christmas traditions, and to feeling that they must implement Christmas as a performative and idealised perfection.
If the traditions are stressful or constricting, either amend them, or jettison them; they don't all - or any of them - have to be adhered to. Find what works for you.
So I should change my feelings about something that makes me unhappy to make others happy?
I have asked family to not invite me to holiday gatherings. As they know how I feel. I would rather stay home with the dog.
Yes I understand that I’m kinda self centered. always have been. If people don’t like me I’m fine with that.
Coming here is the most I go out of my way to be social. And I can disappear easily.
No need to disappear. All are welcome, as are all points of view. I’ve made it quite clear to my parents not to contact me at this time of year. I’m not celebrating it. I’m trying to forget it exists.
In the early years they sent me happy Xmas texts but I pointed out it wasn’t and I didn’t need the reminder. If they want to celebrate then fine. But count me out.
They have learnt.
Same at work. I’m not wanting to bring people down. So I won’t be attending the Xmas party. I don’t want to have to answer the same question time and time again.
I just decline the invitation and leave it at that.
Roll on January!
Definitely no work party. No thank you. Going to my brothers later today. Eat dinner and leave.
I dont plan on leaving here. Lots of good info if you weed through the BS. That and if you can avoid a couple of the people here who preach tolerance then are intolerant of others opinions.
I have always stressed the giving aspect of the holidays with my family, seeing the smile on needed children's faces is better than any material present we could receive, and makes for a positive holiday time for all concerned.
No, - you have a right to indulge your unhappiness but not at the expense of others.
And, if you do not wish to change your feelings - or be expected to do so - and that is your right, others also have the same right, even if the feelings they express (happiness, or joy) are different.
In other words, but do not impose your feelings of unhappiness on others, or rather, do not allow your feelings of unhappiness to trump others' feelings of happiness, and do not expect them to adapt their day - or moods - to suit your needs or the expression of your negativity.
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Again, that is fair enough and a perfectly reasonable position.
Hence why I try to stay home as much as possible. If my feelings upset others isn’t that their problem.
No.
It is also yours and your choice to upset them; you can choose not to upset them, and still be miserable.
I totally agree with this. Sometimes we have to do things that we don’t care for or like doing because we care about the other person. Being a Debbie downer about everything isn’t going to get you far.
If I go I smiling and faking it do you think they won’t know? They know how I feel about the holidays. It’s been at least 15 years I’ve felt like this.
Not saying smiling and faking it. Just being with them while they do their thing so they won’t feel like they’re alone.
But do you have to insist on letting them know how miserable and awful you feel?
Do you take pleasure in their pleasure, or joy from their joy?
Why does it have to be just about you and your feelings and your moods and your negativity?
Let him express his feelings. I dont celebrate Christmas but i like the spirit of it where people are nicer and givin
I've enjoyed myself much more since eschewing Christmas and other wintertime holidays, as well as birthdays. In retrospect, it felt so mindless and unpleasant to participate in world traditions without ever having opted into them.
There are a couple I embrace: Darwin Day in February (which I regard as a time to reflect on reason and science, which have helped make today's era as astonishing as it is), and June, when E3 and WWDC converge, and when some of our most creative and nerdiest friends around the world share all their work and ideas.
There are a couple I embrace: Darwin Day in February (which I regard as a time to reflect on reason and science, which have helped make today's era as astonishing as it is), and June, when E3 and WWDC converge, and when some of our most creative and nerdiest friends around the world share all their work and ideas.
That door swings both ways. Sometimes people need to leave us alone because they care about US. Or is it only about those who have positive feelings?
I get where you're coming from though. I've done more than my fair share of doing things I didn't care for or didn't like because my dad demanded it of me. Keeping the appearance of a nice happy family in middle class circles is everything. No one wants to be around your problems, let alone acknowledge them.
But it's an entirely different thing when the person you're doing these things for does not reciprocate the caring and couldn't give a **** about your feelings when they don't need you after the moment.
I'm not. I'm at home alone. I did laundry and I'm now taking a bath. It's another day.
I have been this way for almost two decades. This year though, I don't feel the usual sadness. I think I'm finally at a place where I'm okay with all that I've been through and lost. So it's not so bad anymore.
I have been this way for almost two decades. This year though, I don't feel the usual sadness. I think I'm finally at a place where I'm okay with all that I've been through and lost. So it's not so bad anymore.
I was allowed to choose one Christmas movie this year. Very unenthusiastic "yeah!", but then I remembered a movie I liked that takes place during Christmas. I chose Die Hard. "Yippee ki yay!" Finally a Christmas movie I can sit through.
dont care for the holidays myself, just endure it for others. epic hangover this morning
cool. as people say, “time heals”
God I wish I was ok with myself. But maybe one day.
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And it’s over. Another holiday season done. I put on the fake happy face and endured dinner with the family. Played with my nephews. Did what I am supposed to do.
Glad it’s over with.
Most people celebrate santa which is the surrogate to christ, it has overshadowed the Christmas holiday.
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Its possible the date of birth is wrong and not the 25th of December but in September on the 23third or another day in that month...the Christmas holiday as people know it is filled with paganism and rituals.
Actually what is worse is the QVC marathon or other television shopping clubs of Christmas in July which is just horrible commercialism.
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One of the benefits of moving to Arizona has been that we escape Southern California's endless New Year's day rerun of the Rose Parade. It happens once here and if you miss it - oh well.
Thank God I usually miss it. New Year's happens at 12:00am on the 1st. Why do we need to celebrate that 1 minute for an entire 24 hours?