I think the only "fail" here is the attempt to turn a personal mobile device (which by design is tied to a single user account on a "base" computer), into a multiple-user multi-purpose PC. Do you and the spousal unit share a single iPhone as well?
And POP instead of IMAP on an iPad? Again, sounds like what you really want/need is a MacBook.
Yes. What I'm asking is whether 4.2 brings support for IMAP IDLE, a.k.a. push, to other IMAP accounts than MobileMe. This does not seem to be the case though.