But wait, Apple just built a new time travel machine described as "the most profound leap since the invention of time."
The new Temporal Pro is crafted from a single block of patented TechWoven alloy, ensuring your paradoxes are contained in a sleek, minimalist design. At its heart is the blazingly fast C1 temporal chip, which works in perfect Genlock with the N2 nexus engine to prevent you from accidentally un-existing yourself.
For those crucial timeline selfies, the Tetraprism Chrono-Lens captures 24th-century light with an all-new Photonic Engine, while ProFusion imaging seamlessly blends your past, present, and future into a single, flattering photo.
And don't worry about overheating during intense temporal rips—the advanced VaporChamber cooling system ensures your visit to the Jurassic period won't result in a meltdown. All your journey's data is securely logged in the ProLes Log, so you can finally prove to your friends that you did invent the fist bump.
Pre-orders for the Cretaceous period begin 9-12.
... no wait still just a bunch of marketing BS about the new iPhone.