Actually maybe I'll take that back a bit. If it's 10x optical zoom and it's hard to get a stable shot, that means you won't be able to do 5x optical shots. 5x would basically be the main camera digitally zoomed until it gets to 10x. Maybe they could've added a 4th camera, but you don't want to add an extra camera for every level of optical zoom you want.
This is 100% of the issue.
The lenses on an iPhone aren't zoom lenses, they're fixed focal length and some of them are longer reach than others. So 'optical zoom' is a misnomer, you're just switching to a lens with a longer focal length to get a narrower field of view without cropping.
A 3x magnification lens cropped to 5x will generally produce a lower quality image than a 5x magnification lens, but a 3x magnification lens cropped to 4x will produce a higher quality image than a 2x lens cropped to 4x.
There's a trade off to be made between the 3x lens on the Pro and the 5x lens on the Pro Max (and an even bigger trade off if they had used 10x instead) and neither is objectively better than the other - the right tool depends on which kinds of photos you take most of. For me, I take far more photos in the 3x-5x range than I do in the 5x+ range, so the lens options on the Pro are more useful to me than the Pro Max. A 10x lens would be cool to have for the one time a year I might use it, but the vast majority of the time it's just going to take up space that could be used for something else.
Ideally Apple would be able to make the camera configurations independent of the screen size so you could choose a Max with a 3x lens or a non-Max with a 5x lens depending on which option makes more sense for your use case. But the folks arguing that 5x is objectively better for everyone and that Apple is doing us dirty by not using it on the smaller form factor are kinda missing the point.