Ok. What about my PS5 example then? Is it not the exact same thing here? I can’t fire up visual studio, write something, deploy it to my site, and direct PS5 players to download it.
That's not an unfair point of course, though rather than discuss the merits of the console issue you simply seek to use it as a 'whataboutism.' But rather than simply using it as a whataboutism, let's discuss the console issue. I wouldn't necessarily be against hitting the big gaming companies with some of these kinds of regulations as well. Why can Sony require their authorization and a financial cut to make a game for their system? Some would say it's because they sell the console at a loss, at least initially and make profit through game sales. Is that enough justification for their business model? Maybe not. Maybe they need to cut their fees and price the hardware higher. I'll point out that a huge difference between Apple and Sony here is that Apple makes a mountain of profit from their hardware sales. The App Store isn't subsidizing the hardware in any way.
Some would say it's because there is no monopoly or duopoly power in gaming. Consider the various players in the gaming market: Sony (Playstation), Microsoft (Windows/Xbox), Nintendo (Switch), Apple (macOS/iOS/iPadOS/tvOS), Google (Android), Meta (Oculus). I'm not the gamer I used to be so there may be more. But where is the concentrated market power here? There's isn't any. Unlike smartphones with iOS and Android, there are a multitude of popular options in gaming platforms.
An additional but related point is that there is frequent cross-shopping in the gaming market that doesn't exist with smartphones. Few people simultaneously use both an iPhone and and Android. People may switch from time to time, but most people use one at a time and as such must choose one or the other. Conversely, many gamers already participate in the market by buying products from multiple competitors. I don't even game much, but yet I have the hardware to play games on macOS, iOS, tvOS, Playstation, Windows, and Switch. The 'choose one or the other' situation of smartphones doesn't generally exist in gaming.
Like I said, you may disagree that those reasons should allow Sony to keep people from developing for their hardware without their blessing and I wouldn't necessarily disagree with that stance myself, but we don't need to pretend like it's an apples to apples comparison between smartphones and consoles when that's clearly not the case.
And anti-competitive is just over the top reaction to this. If you are a developer that wants to make an app that’s available as a side load, you have Android as an option. The whole idea of every product needs to have all the same features and capabilities is ridiculous. They are essentially stating that products can’t compete by having different features or systems.
You're exaggerating. Nobody is trying to make every product have all the same features and capabilities. They are however trying to ensure fair play and a modicum of interoperability. Forcing iOS to implement sideloading doesn't magically transform it into Android.
Apple believes a walled garden is a differentiator between iOS and Android. So this is basically saying “you can’t compete here”. iPhone sales will decrease if this happens. I hate iOS compared to Android. But I only use it as it’s a closed system.
Unfortunately for Apple, their "differentiator" is increasingly being seen as being anti-competitive to the broader smartphone-related products and services market.