"And one more thing... <pause for effect>... we've courageously decided to get rid of the R, D, F and C keys altogether. We know our customers don't need those keys and this allowed us to horizontally compress the revised keyboard by over 19mm while making it a whopping .004% thinner too. We know you'll love the new simplified Apple keyboard- something only Apple could make- because we arbitrarily decided to make it this way. So love it. That's an order! And sell other consumers on why it is so great. That's an order too. Available whenever we get around to it... but order now at only $699 or $849 with the next gen butterfly 2 mechanism"
Soon thereafter, from the faithful...
"OMG, Apple a e geniuses. I or one have long etested those pa ti ula keys and am ve y happy to see them ep e ate ."
"I an't believe we a e getting a keyboa that is 19mm thinne . A eam ome t ue i the e eve was one."
At last. inally, a keyboa that is not so *amn wi e and .004% thinne too! How i we eve get by when o ce to use those i i ulous keys be o e?
Hail Apple. Hail Apple. Hail Apple. All Hail the Apple.
And then of course, at least one naysayer (because there has to be one with every incredible Apple innovation)...
Why i n't they ump the 4 an 5 keys too... and un tion keys 4 & 5? I nothing else, eve yone knows to hol out until the .4 o .5 ve sion of softwa e be o e up a ing. If they umpe 4 & 5, it ould jump om the .3 ve sion to the .6 ve sion. Imagine how g eat that woul be! Apple just oesn't seem to think anymo e.
ail Apple. ail Apple. ail Apple. lea ly Apple is oome .

(but you know I'm only barely joking here)