Please Apple, drop the "Genius" title for your shop assistants. If there's any way to make your company seem smug and self-righteous then that's the way to do it.
I'm sure Einstein would be selling iPad's if he were alive right? Just call them Apple Assistants/Helpers, whatever, if someone comes up to me in a shop and says "Hi, I'm a genius" I instantly think "tool".
Yes, these people are far from genius.
How about:
Rotten Apples
or
Apple juice!
(As in getting some "essential" input)
Please see one of our "Rotten Apples",
kind of has a ring to it.