Serious question. Why do you need an Apple Store?
The short answer: different people go to bricks-and-mortar stores for different reasons. Your usage case is not the only one in existence. The universe doesn't not revolve around you.
Longer answer: Some people like shopping in a retail environment.
Some like to ask questions to a live human being.
Some like to comparison shop or look at other options.
You cannot assess the display quality by viewing a photo on a website. You cannot assess the build quality by viewing a photo on a website. You cannot experience how good or bad a computer keyboard is by viewing a photo on a website. You cannot assess the responsiveness of an electronic device by viewing a photo or video on a website. It is difficult to assess weight and bulk by viewing a photo or written specs on a website.
Most of my purchases have been from the website, since I customize.
Irrelevant, again fixating on your self-centered worldview. Most people will buy the standard configurations.
I am fairly tech literate and can solve most of my issues unless something is truly broken, which I have almost never encountered.
In that rare case, is it that big of a deal to drive an hour to a store?
For every person who is fairly tech literate, there is someone who is fairly tech illiterate.
Some people are unlucky. Some people are clumsy. Some people handle their electronics rather roughly. Some people do stupid things with the software. Some of these people need help.
It's not like I'm buying groceries every week there.
Apple does not expect a given person to come to the store on a weekly basis. Then again, neither does the snowboard shop, the jewelry store, the lingerie store, the tire store, the car stereo store, the shoe store, etc.
Some people go to Apple Stores for reasons other than equipment repair.
The few times I've been there it just seems like kids hanging out.
Apple Retail Stores have the highest sales per square foot of any retailer. While you think you just see kids hanging out, they are actually raking in sales, more than the Tiffany jewelry store a few doors down.
Look, Apple didn't build the Apple Retail Store just for you. They build the stores to address the interests of a large audience of people, some of whom have considerably different priorities about their shopping/visiting experience.
The Apple Store is not your mommy cooking you your favorite breakfast in her kitchen. The Apple Store is more like a restaurant open to the public. No one can please everyone all the time. If you don't like the food/service/ambiance/whatever at a given restaurant, then
DON'T GO. No one is pointing a gun at your head saying that you need to love it.
But based on Apple retail sales figures, it appears that many people do enjoy shopping at Apple's bricks-and-mortars store. And the people who came up with the idea are now really rich because of it.