Asking a girl to Prom

Discussion in 'Community Discussion' started by HenryTheGood, Feb 28, 2008.

  1. HenryTheGood macrumors newbie

    Joined:
    Feb 28, 2008
    #1
    Hello everyone. My name is Henry and I really need help with asking a girl to Prom. You see, i've been to dances before but it's mainly been just a big group of friends going altogether. Now that i'm a junior, and i'll be going to Prom soon, I want to make this night special by actually taking someone with me.

    There is a girl i enjoy hanging out with alot, and she is a really good friend of mine. I've liked her for about 6 months now, but haven't told her. I've been waiting to tell her how I feel about her but i'm nervous that she will make it feel weird when we are near each other.

    A friend of mine likes the same girl and asked me the other night if he would make a good couple with her and that he was going to ask her to the dance. I don't want to disappoint him, so I sorta said that they would make a good couple but she doesn't have feelings for him like he has for her. If I was to ask her first and she told me yes, I wouldn't want my friend getting mad at me. I just really need help out of this situation because I really want to go to the dance with her.

    If you could just help me please, I would like to ask her possible tonight maybe over AIM or the phone. Please reply back! :)

    Any tips on how I should ask too would be great!
     
  2. rhsgolfer33 macrumors 6502a

    Joined:
    Jan 6, 2006
    #2
    Just ask her man, before your buddy does. If she says yes to him before you ask her then your outta luck, so just go for it. But don't ask her on the phone or AIM, do it in person. When I asked my girlfriend to prom I got a cake and had the baker right Prom? on it. Worked out well, plus then we got to eat cake together after. So I say go for it, but try to do something cute if you can (flowers, cake, whatever) that way you'll be a little more irresistible and less likely to get turned down, even if you just go as friends.
     
  3. backsidetailsli macrumors 65816

    backsidetailsli

    Joined:
    Aug 1, 2006
    Location:
    Toronto!
    #3
    over the phone or in person.
    just simply ask her, no big deal
    shes probably waiting for you to ask, especially if she doesnt have anyone to go with

    trust me, girls want to go to the dance with someone.. more than anything.
    so if she doesnt have anyone, your set.

    let us know how it goes.

    dont puss out
     
  4. HenryTheGood thread starter macrumors newbie

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    Feb 28, 2008
    #4
    okay :) sounds good.

    So how would I just get her to talk with me alone? Like take her in the back.

    Could you set up like a script or someone for me to say, I've never done this before for a dance. :(
     
  5. Hello.there macrumors 6502a

    Hello.there

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    Couch
    #5
    Trust me, I am no expert on this stuff (actually, I'm useless), but here is what I would advise:

    First, I would talk to your friend and just be honest with him. Tell him that you really like this girl and would he mind if you asked her to the prom - I suppose you kind of owe him that after you "sorta" said they'd make a good couple.

    If he has already asked her and she said yes, well, just put it down to experience - and get in first next time!

    If he hasn't asked her, then go for it - if you feel awkward or shy about it just approach the subject with her in a casual way, eg "hey, fancy going to the Prom?".

    If she says yes see how the night goes. You might become more relaxed and gain the confidence to ask her out again - "that was good fun, fancy going out Friday?" Don't pressure yourself, you're already friends so just test the waters and see if you can sense if she would like things to develop too - you might be surprised, she might feel just as you do.

    But don't be worried about it. It might well be that she just wants to stay 'friends', if that's the case NO PROBLEM - we've all been there 15 billion times.....well, I have :eek:

    Hope it works out, best of luck.
     
  6. Hello.there macrumors 6502a

    Hello.there

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    #6
    So in that sense they're just like the boys ;) :)
     
  7. HenryTheGood thread starter macrumors newbie

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    Feb 28, 2008
    #7
    Thanks for that great reply! I will try that tomorrow. I'm just nervous because if i was to ask her and she says yes, then my friend goes and asks her to prom and shes like, "i'm already going with Henry." Then my friend comes back and is like "why did you ask her? I told you I was going to ask her!"

    I'm just nervous that this might break up our friendship. Does anyone know good techniques that might make the girl say yes. Like easier ways? I'm not going to bring a cake, flowers, or anything. Just myself :D
     
  8. GirthP macrumors regular

    Joined:
    Oct 1, 2007
    #8
    The one thing I would say, and wish someone would have told me is this:

    No woman is special. I mean, they are special like we're all snowflakes special. But no woman is special enough to let go of your sense of your self, which you may already have done. (maybe not). Most women are attracted to men who have a distinct sense of themselves and won't give that up for a woman. That will trump looks, money, or status. I'm speaking from experience here, I've been in both places.

    If you approach her asking for her to validate you, you will come across as cute (the best possible) or needy and pathetic (something I did a lot in high school ;) ).

    So take a deep breath, let go of her, remember that you are not a charity case, you are the prize. If you think that asking her out is like telling her you have some weird disease, she will respond that way.

    Decide what is more important, making sure you have given her the opportunity to enjoy you.... or you making sure she thinks highly of you.
    See yourself as the prize!

    Good luck man. I have a lot of respect for your conundrum.

    Be blunt. Just grab her by the elbow and tell her you have some important news... be silly about it... remember don't treat it like you are telling her you have a disease!


    EDIT: grammar and another point.
     
  9. marykay9507 macrumors 6502a

    marykay9507

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    Jan 18, 2008
    #9
    that is cute-- would make a girl melt!!

    good luck-- don't be nervous!
     
  10. HenryTheGood thread starter macrumors newbie

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    Feb 28, 2008
    #10
    I think I am just going to go up to her tomorrow and say this:

    "I really think we will have a great time at prom together even if we aren't dating..." or something idk :(
     
  11. Hello.there macrumors 6502a

    Hello.there

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    #11
    Take her hand and whisper:

    "You are the Apple Mac of my eye."

    Sorry, I'll get my coat.
     
  12. Hello.there macrumors 6502a

    Hello.there

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    #12
    I'd leave out the "even if we aren't dating" bit - just go for something easy, like "hey, fancy going to the Prom?". Simple as that!
     
  13. HenryTheGood thread starter macrumors newbie

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    Feb 28, 2008
    #13

    haha that sounds so cheesy.

    so what i'm thinking about is just gonna wait until we are alone and just be like

    "__HERNAME__, i dont know if anyone has asked you to prom yet, but I was wondering if you could like to go with me? I think we will have a really good time together."

    How is that guys?
     
  14. marykay9507 macrumors 6502a

    marykay9507

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    #14
    as a chick, i would say yes:p
     
  15. HenryTheGood thread starter macrumors newbie

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    Feb 28, 2008
    #15

    okay i will ask her that.


    but what about my friend. i dont know if he knows that i like her and if he will get mad about me asking her cuz he already told me he wants to ask her to prom. how would you deal with this situation?
     
  16. GirthP macrumors regular

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    Oct 1, 2007
    #16
    How about this...

    " Hey _NameOfGirl_, I know everyone else wants me to go to prom with them.... but I think I'd like to take you. Are you free that night?"

    See, NOT PATHETIC!! And for a bonus, a little funny.

    Don't be pathetic!!

    ;)
     
  17. Hello.there macrumors 6502a

    Hello.there

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    #17
    He's not!! Hey, some girls like sweet over cool :)
     
  18. Gelfin macrumors 68020

    Gelfin

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    Denver, CO
    #18
    From the archives of "things I wish somebody had said to me when I was in high school":

    1. Go up to girl.
    2. Say, "hey, I'd really like it if you'd go to Prom with me. Want to go?"
    3. Don't apologize or explain your feelings.
    4. Whatever her response, say, "okay, that's cool."
    5. Do it NOW.

    Gah. TOTAL violation of Man Rules. The technical term is "c***blocking" and it's not a cool thing to do to a friend. This is the importance of step 5 above. "She's already going with me" is a better way to put him off than being noncommittal, which is itself WAY better than lying to him.

    Now unless your buddy is an idiot, he's going to catch on when you turn up at the prom with the girl, and you'll probably have some consequences of handling this a fairly crappy way.

    Face-to-face is by far the best option, but phone is still much better than IM. The "better" options are better for the same reason they're scarier: they're more personal.
     
  19. backsidetailsli macrumors 65816

    backsidetailsli

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    Toronto!
    #19
    iono it really depends on the girl. you might just want to ask her simply "would you like to go to the prom with me". you dont need to over complicate these things haha. just talk to her like how you would normally.. get into the subject of the prom.. doesnt have to be immediatly.. then coast yourself into the question. its damn easy
     
  20. GirthP macrumors regular

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    Oct 1, 2007
    #20
    You are absolutely right. I wasn't insinuating that he was. Or maybe I was accidently. I was probably thinking about myself at that age.... :rolleyes:

    I agree, you have to be yourself. But I will tell you this. Girls are not attracted to sweet. They will not want to jump your bones if you play the sweet card. It's a fine line really. If you have been dating a girl for a while, I think the sweet thing is great. But most girls (can't say I've been with every girl!) always divide men into 'not interesting', 'sweet guys', and 'guys I want to %^$&!!!;'.

    I know this from conversations I've had with numerous women, and from being all three of those guys at different times.

    If all he wants to do is go to prom with her, then by all means do sweet, fun, buddy buddy... but if he wants her to want him, then he can't try to straddle the line and be both a love interest and a friend. It's scary as hell, but it's worth it I think.

    Either way, it's a great problem to have!!!
     
  21. MBHockey macrumors 68040

    MBHockey

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    New York
    #21
    You kind of already gave your friend the green light...

    but if you do go through with it...just be confident. Girls hate it when guys aren't confident or they are insecure...HATE it.
     
  22. Hello.there macrumors 6502a

    Hello.there

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    #22
    This one is, and always was ;)
     
  23. HenryTheGood thread starter macrumors newbie

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    Feb 28, 2008
    #23
    So this is what i've come up with to ask her tomorrow:

    "__HERNAME__, i dont know if anyone has asked you to prom yet, but I was wondering if you would like to go with me? I think we will have a really good time together."

    How is that everyone?:apple:
     
  24. DJMastaWes macrumors 65816

    DJMastaWes

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    Jan 14, 2006
    Location:
    Montreal, Quebec
    #24
    Ask her now. Don't wait.
    For my prom, i was going to ask the girl in like, november or december, but everyone was like "that's to early man!" So, i waited until after out christmas break, and what do you know... The first period of our first day back at school, someone had asked her.

    So, just ask her now and deal with your friend later.
     
  25. dsnort macrumors 68000

    dsnort

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    #25
    Ah, high school. If only I had known then what I know now. Mainly that the girls are just as nervous and unsure of themselves as we are. And trust me, if your good friends, she's probably already thought about it herself.

    Just buck up little camper and let it fly. Carpe Diem.

    Yeah dude, always be up front. Your friends can deal with you being up front better than being backdoored.
     

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