Australian Stereotypes

Discussion in 'Current Events' started by .Andy, Sep 1, 2008.

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  1. .Andy macrumors 68030

    .Andy

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    #1
    They are unfair, insulting, and I'm sick of them on these forums. We might be down in the southern hemisphere but that doesn't make us any less human. It's not as if we live with kangaroos hopping around in the cities beating us up.

    Actually hang on.....

    http://www.smh.com.au/news/national/jogger-attacked-by-kangaroo/2008/09/01/1220121130240.html

    I'm glad he is OK. You wouldn't read about it :)!
     
  2. Queso macrumors G4

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    #2
    So why is triple-0 the emergency number in Oz? Is it because 999 is considered Satanic? :)
     
  3. .Andy thread starter macrumors 68030

    .Andy

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    #3
    Our phones don't count that high :D
     
  4. TheNightPhoenix macrumors 6502

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    Dec 16, 2005
    #4
    The one thing i love about Australian stereotypes is Australians are always pictured drinking beer but wearing hats with wine corks around it. :confused:
     
  5. Abstract macrumors Penryn

    Abstract

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    #5
    Was this kangaroo wearing boxing gloves and a red sparring helmet?
     
  6. Roobsa macrumors regular

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    #6
    Kangeroos are awesome creatures.

    Here's one I met when I was in the Outback.

    2747447866_7f59d6c77c_b.jpg
     
  7. BoyBach macrumors 68040

    BoyBach

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    #7

    The Victoria Police have released a picture of the marsupial they want to question following the assault.

    YOG-TFBOXER.jpg
     
  8. neonblue2 macrumors 6502a

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    Port Pirie, South Australia
    #8
    "Cooee" takes too long to dial.
     
  9. Abstract macrumors Penryn

    Abstract

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    #9
    I saw THIS one sitting in a veggie garden at Outback.
     
  10. mkrishnan Moderator emeritus

    mkrishnan

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Grand Rapids, MI, USA
    #10
    Dude, it's people like you always runnin' around punching kangaroos that cause them to rebel against humanity.

    Man created the kangaroos. They rebelled. They learned kickboxing. There are many copies. And they have a plan.
     
  11. Aeolius macrumors 6502a

    Joined:
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    #11
    This is the wattle. It's the symbol of our land.
    You can stick it in a bottle. You can hold it in your hand.
    Amen!
    [​IMG]
     
  12. Lord Blackadder macrumors G5

    Lord Blackadder

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    Sod off
  13. oblomow macrumors 68020

    oblomow

    Joined:
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    Location:
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    #13
    This is what they teach us at school:
    Extract from the Australian Etiquette Handbook

    1. Never take a beer to a job interview.
    2. Always identify people in your yard before shooting them.
    3. It's tacky to take an esky to church.
    4. If you have to vacuum the bed, it's time to change the sheets.
    5. Even if you're certain you're included in the will, it's rude to take the trailer to the funeral home.

    DINING OUT:

    1. When decanting wine from the box, tilt the paper cup and pour slowly so as not to bruise the wine.
    2. If drinking directly from the bottle, hold it with only one hand.

    ENTERTAINING IN YOUR HOME:

    1. A centrepiece for the table should never be anything prepared by a taxidermist.
    2. Don't allow the dog to eat at the table, no matter how good his manners.

    PERSONAL HYGIENE:

    1. While ears need to be cleaned regularly, this should be done in private, using one's OWN Ute keys..
    2. Even if you live alone, deodorant isn't a waste of money.
    3. Use of toiletries can only delay bathing a few days.
    4. Dirt and grease under the fingernails is a no-no, as it detracts from a woman's jewellery and alters the taste of finger foods.

    DATING

    1. Always offer to bait your date's hook, especially on the first date.
    2. Be assertive. Let her know you're interested: "I've been wanting to go out with you since I read that stuff on the dunny door two years ago."
    3. Establish with her parents what time she's expected back. Some will say 10:00 PM, others might say "Monday." If the latter is the answer, it's the man's responsibility to get her to school on time.

    AUSTRALIAN LIFE RULES

    THEATRE ETIQUETTE:

    1. Crying babies should be taken to the lobby and picked up after the movie ends.
    2. Refrain from talking to characters on the screen. Tests have proven they can't hear you.

    WEDDINGS:

    1. Livestock is a poor choice for a wedding gift.
    2. Kissing the bride for more than five seconds may get you shot.
    3. For the groom, at least, rent a tux. A tracksuit with a cummerbund and a clean football jumper can create a tacky appearance.
    4. Though uncomfortable, say "yes" to socks and shoes for the occasion.

    DRIVING ETIQUETTE:

    1. Dim your headlights for approaching vehicles, even if the gun's loaded and the roo's in sight.
    2. When approaching a roundabout, the vehicle with the largest tyres doesn't always have the right of way.
    3. Never tow another car using panty hose and duct tape.
    4. When sending your wife down the road with a petrol can, it's impolite to ask her to bring back beer, too.


    :)
     
  14. cazlar macrumors 6502

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Sydney, Australia
    #14
    She's got two hands though???
     
  15. Shotglass macrumors 65816

    Shotglass

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    Feb 4, 2006
    #15
    I didn't even know there was such a thing as Australian stereotypes.
     
  16. Abstract macrumors Penryn

    Abstract

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    #16
    What do you call them, facts? ;)

    Very true. ;)
     
  17. TheVendor macrumors member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Canada
    #17
    So kangaroos are Cylons in disguise? Someone call Commander Adama, we need to tell him about this ASAP!
     
  18. dmr727 macrumors G3

    dmr727

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    #18
    LOL - awesome.
     
  19. waffle911 macrumors regular

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    ⇧⌥K = 
    #19
    The list is also surprisingly applicable to Texas, except substitute "cooler" for "esky", "pickup" for "ute", "wife beater and blue jeans" for "track suit with a cummerbund" ("Stetsons" are acceptable), and "deer" for "roo" (and of course gas for petrol).

    General #1 When offered a beer, however, it is usually kindest to accept whatever brew the interviewer's drinking, regardless of your own personal preference
    General #2 Signs saying "no trespassing" along with warning shots are also recommended
    General #3 Unless its for after the service and left outside in the pickup
    General #5 Who needs a trailer when you've got a pickup?

    Dating #3 however is completely different. Texans are as a whole socially conservative, so dating jailbait generally doesn't apply (not sure about Oz). However, it does apply if you yourself are too young to legally purchase your own pack of smokes. Otherwise, the rule is to establish whether or not they expect you to get married when they find out she's been knocked up (the answer is typically "yes", but is not necessarily binding after a marriage has endured a period not to fall short of a minimum of 6 mos. ~ 3 yrs., depending on parental "preference". This is called a "shotgun wedding", for the uninitiated).

    Weddings #1 the exception is of course when the livestock in question is equestrian in nature.
    Weddings #4 No one can tell if you're wearing socks or not under your cowboy boots.

    Driving #2 Roundabouts are a foreign concept in Texas; no-one knows what to do at them, so the truck with the biggest tires does have right of way, regardless of its chosen direction of travel around the roundabout
    Driving #4 No Texan would be able to live down having their wife walk down the road for a can of gas, or even a tow truck. signaling for assistance is acceptable, however, as women are generally more effective in such situations.

    @Roobsa: I think that may have been a wallaby, it looks much smaller than a kangaroo in that picture.

    EDIT: vvvv Australia is definitely #3 best country in Europe, after Sweden and UK. Austria doesn't even come close (though it does share geographic proximity) vvvv Yeah, Europe. Right.
     
  20. windowpain macrumors 6502a

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Japan
    #20
    You mean kangaroos aren't hopping around the cities?! - :( another dream dies...
     

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  21. tominated macrumors 68000

    tominated

    Joined:
    Jul 7, 2006
    Location:
    Queensland, Australia
    #21
    that made me lol. i do dislike it when aussies are always pictured as bogans, especially in movies
     
  22. Ivan P macrumors 68030

    Ivan P

    Joined:
    Jan 17, 2008
    Location:
    Home
    #22
    That picture really made me laugh...Yabbie Creek...damn Home and Away ruining minds...

    Yeah, I really dislike Australian stereotypes, I'm yet to come across anyone that acts in a 'stereotypical' way (in fact, I'd probably punch anyone that did). Reminds me of this other kid from Australia that signed up at another message board around the time the Kevin Rudd strip-club scandal happened last year; he was trying to convince people that everyone here was proud of him and that it proved he was a "true Australian". Ugh, get a grip, anyone that thinks that is stupid, and comments like that are the reason why people think us Australians are idiots...
     
  23. Cromulent macrumors 603

    Cromulent

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    Location:
    The Land of Hope and Glory
    #23
  24. oblomow macrumors 68020

    oblomow

    Joined:
    Apr 14, 2005
    Location:
    Netherlands
    #24
    That's the lesson. Never trust stereotypes. They can be funny, but almost never true.

    Puts on his wooden shoes and rides his bicycle back to his windmill.
     
  25. neonblue2 macrumors 6502a

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Port Pirie, South Australia
    #25
    Hmm, I reckon the little believability went out the window when he said "Queenslnd" instead of "Queensland" as it's most often pronounced by Australians.

    I really didn't get the humour either, maybe because as an Australian I can see all the holes in their send up of the Aussie stereotype.

    *shrugs*
     
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