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Do you believe in true love?
- Thread starter Delighted
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I hope that I will some day see,
A love song on brain chemistry.
Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?
Upon what scale shall I then weigh?
Doth chemistry alone prevail,
When ageless questions answers fail?
Or should we not attempt to see,
And just agree to disagree.
(To the tune of Greensleeves, of course)
I think I get where eric is coming from. The thread is about true love, while the OP's first post discusses romantic love. I'm not clear to what extent the OP is equating the two.
Love between people in a relationship clearly exists. Arguing love doesn't exist because it's just hormones and brain chemistry makes as much sense to me as saying food doesn't exist because it's just made out of plants and animals.
True love? Depends exactly how it's defined and how stringent your critieria are. If the model is some idealised perfect love where the lover has total, absolute and unquestioning devotion to another person: I seriously doubt if it exists outside of fiction.
I apologize for the confusion, when I said romantic love I just didn't want the word love to be confused with the love of a mother to her child but rather the love of a man to a woman, a man to a man, etc. True romantic love.
I absolutely believe it exists but I tend to always fall on the losing side when me and my friend get into this debate. She explains to me about the chemicals in our bodies that alters our perception making us think we are in love(or whatever she said).
I absolutely believe it exists but I tend to always fall on the losing side when me and my friend get into this debate. She explains to me about the chemicals in our bodies that alters our perception making us think we are in love(or whatever she said).
As silly as it may sound, yes I do believe it and this is the primary reason I'm still single at 30. I've had girls I like, and that like me, but there has not ever been a real, true spark - and spark not in the "Got the hots" or "we have so much in common" sense but in a much deeper, more lasting way.
I don't believe in settling for any one simply to be with some one. I'd rather be single than marry a girl I don't have a very deep connection with.
+1. There are also more forms of love than simply the romantic, which may be what you're referring to. Romance does not of itself make a relationship. it's important, but only one of many parts that will make it a success. The ancient Greeks had many words for the various manifestations love can take.
I don't believe in settling for any one simply to be with some one. I'd rather be single than marry a girl I don't have a very deep connection with.
+1. There are also more forms of love than simply the romantic, which may be what you're referring to. Romance does not of itself make a relationship. it's important, but only one of many parts that will make it a success. The ancient Greeks had many words for the various manifestations love can take.
Absolutely it exists.
I've seen it in my Uncle and Aunt, and in my mother/father-in-law. My wife and I have it.
However, there is a caveat and clarification I'd also like to add - keeping in my mind this is imho only.
Caveat: Just because one person "truly loves" another does not necessarily mean the 2nd person "truly loves" the 1st person. This is a major bummer. But it also explains why you can love someone, and still let them go. It's not because you don't love them - it's because they don't love you. And you recognize that to try to make them stay with you is harmful for them.
Clarification: I think you can have more than one "true love" in your life. Not concurrently, but serially. I've seen people, who shared a "true love" with their partner lose that partner to illness or an accident and - eventually - find someone else they truly love.
I'm not sure how much security is part of "true love". I don't know that one can love someone because they provide security.... but can you truly love someone who makes you feel insecure?
Good Topic....
I've seen it in my Uncle and Aunt, and in my mother/father-in-law. My wife and I have it.
However, there is a caveat and clarification I'd also like to add - keeping in my mind this is imho only.
Caveat: Just because one person "truly loves" another does not necessarily mean the 2nd person "truly loves" the 1st person. This is a major bummer. But it also explains why you can love someone, and still let them go. It's not because you don't love them - it's because they don't love you. And you recognize that to try to make them stay with you is harmful for them.
Clarification: I think you can have more than one "true love" in your life. Not concurrently, but serially. I've seen people, who shared a "true love" with their partner lose that partner to illness or an accident and - eventually - find someone else they truly love.
I'm not sure how much security is part of "true love". I don't know that one can love someone because they provide security.... but can you truly love someone who makes you feel insecure?
Good Topic....
I guess in my mind, true love goes both ways. Otherwise, to me, it's just infatuation.
Sounds a little like your friend took psych101 and now thinks she understands the intricacies of the human mind. Maybe with more time and pursuing the science of it she'll stop looking at it so superficially. By her definition many neurological processes aren't real. To focus on feelings, she must also believe that happiness isn't real; sadness isn't real; anger isn't real; fear isn't real, etc. These are feelings fuelled by real biochemicals with a real purpose on non-tangible feelings which aid in furthering our evolution as a species. E.g., Emotional bonds promote better survival for mates and their offspring.
If it makes her feel clever and at peace to think that neurochemistry is just full of tricks then that's fair enough but I think it's a somewhat unfortunate and myopic view of a much more fascinating science.
6 months ago, I would have said no. But I met the one person I know is my true love. It's difficult being that he goes to school in California and I'm in school in Indiana (we are from Indiana) but I just dropped $400 to fly out and see him for our anniversary.
It's weird. Its one thing I never thought existed but when it's experienced it's undeniable.
It's weird. Its one thing I never thought existed but when it's experienced it's undeniable.
I fell in love with my best friend. I wasn't trying to, I wasn't expecting to, it just happened. I was actually more interested in this other girl to begin with, and slowly, as it dawned on me that this girl was never going to be interested in me, I realised what I had in my friend was actually something a whole lot more than just friendship. It was a massive eye opener. I eventually found the courage to tell her how I felt, and found out through this that she had had a lingering attraction towards me ever since we met. Now, more than a year later, we work very hard at a long distance relationship, seeing each other every three or so weeks and I feel very much that I truly do love her. And we are both happy.
And, in fact, I'm going to visit her today.
And, in fact, I'm going to visit her today.
Romantic love does indeed exist. The important thing to understand about it is when it is new, it is full of excitement and lust. However as time goes by the same level of excitement can not be maintained. Some people make the mistake of thinking oh, where did the excitement and lust go? And they think there is something wrong in the relationship. Some start looking at new people to rekindle the excitement which in many cases is a mistake. Understand that nothing is wrong, the relationship has matured. Sure you can remarry 5 or 6 times to try to get the excitement back, just to watch is diminish over time, but is it worth it?
And I'll say from my own relationship, after being married for 30 years that me and the wife can get on each other nerves. It takes work to make a marriage work over the long run. The odds of finding a "perfect relationship" (perfect symmetry, complementing each other's personalities perfectly, never argue, always agree) is NILL, although I won't go as far as saying it is impossible.
And I'll say from my own relationship, after being married for 30 years that me and the wife can get on each other nerves. It takes work to make a marriage work over the long run. The odds of finding a "perfect relationship" (perfect symmetry, complementing each other's personalities perfectly, never argue, always agree) is NILL, although I won't go as far as saying it is impossible.
I guess in my mind, true love goes both ways. Otherwise, to me, it's just infatuation.
Fair enough... but I disagree. I think 'true love' can be a one way street. It is possible for couple to spend enough time together that one person to feel 'true love' and for the 2nd one to recognize that they do not.
Going along with what others said
Love is an illusion. It does not really exist at least how most people think it does. Love is merely a word that humans use to describe the combination of various biological/neurological responses that developed through evolution to allow animals to bond with their offspring, mates and kin. These biological/neurological responses assure mutual survival of groups within a species and for individuals to procreate.
Love is not something magical. There is no such thing as true love. What we describe as romantic love is just part of the mating process of many species.
If we can develop the technology to control and alter human biological/neurological activity, we can then control what everyone refers to as love. In essence, we would then be able to make you love any person .and make any person love you.
Love is like any other term or concept that humans manufacture to describe something when they dont understand scientific facts behind something or simply dont want to use the scientific terminology. There is nothing wrong with this. I use the term, love, myself. But the reality is that love is not something mysterious that just happens or is destined. Love is just a single term that encompasses a variety of biological and neurological activity.
Love is an illusion. It does not really exist at least how most people think it does. Love is merely a word that humans use to describe the combination of various biological/neurological responses that developed through evolution to allow animals to bond with their offspring, mates and kin. These biological/neurological responses assure mutual survival of groups within a species and for individuals to procreate.
Love is not something magical. There is no such thing as true love. What we describe as romantic love is just part of the mating process of many species.
If we can develop the technology to control and alter human biological/neurological activity, we can then control what everyone refers to as love. In essence, we would then be able to make you love any person .and make any person love you.
Love is like any other term or concept that humans manufacture to describe something when they dont understand scientific facts behind something or simply dont want to use the scientific terminology. There is nothing wrong with this. I use the term, love, myself. But the reality is that love is not something mysterious that just happens or is destined. Love is just a single term that encompasses a variety of biological and neurological activity.
I only know of three forms: Platonic (the love a girl has for a guy she's "friendzoned"), Eros (Man & Women, Man & Man, Women & Woman and so on) and Agape (Unconditional love. Father and child). I don't know if the Greeks had a word for love between a man is his pet or his favorite personal possession or his country and so on.
He distinctly said 'to blathe', and as we all know 'to blathe' means to bluff!
You were probably playing cards, and he cheated...
You were probably playing cards, and he cheated...
I believe in it, I'm living it.
It is really hard thing to put on words, and I guess poets had been giving for centuries the most satisfying words to it.
It is really hard thing to put on words, and I guess poets had been giving for centuries the most satisfying words to it.
I've searched the instruction manuals for all Apple products from 1976 to today and I see no reference to true love. Thusly, if Apple doth know of its existance it must not exist.
Q.E.D.
Q.E.D.
Two great posts, both lovely to read; positive, mature, and nuanced. Very well said, both of you.
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care to explain why? love is everywhere we look. when two people can unconditionally sacrafice whatever they have for each other and ask for nothing in return. i know it sounds far fetched but it does happen.
care to explain why? love is everywhere we look. when two people can unconditionally sacrafice whatever they have for each other and ask for nothing in return. i know it sounds far fetched but it does happen.
I've only been in love with one person. I haven't seen him in six years, but I know that if I had a magic lamp and it granted me the three proverbial wishes, one of them would be to be with him again. I've been in two relationships since then, but both times I quickly realized that all I do is feel nostalgia and a deep sadness because it's him who I wish it were in my life.
I think it's almost impossible to stop loving someone once you truly fall in love with them, even if a lifetime goes by and you know you'll never see them again. Just my opinion, though.
I think it's almost impossible to stop loving someone once you truly fall in love with them, even if a lifetime goes by and you know you'll never see them again. Just my opinion, though.
Yes, but it's SO hard to find. There may be however many billion on the planet but I do honestly believe there's only a very minute amount of people out there that you're actually genuinely 100% compatible with.
I came very close, but it all fell apart, which is a massive shame as me and her got on so well it was unbelievable, we dated for about 6 years before it ended, now she's changed so much and doesn't want to know me anymore. Funny how people change so fast.
I came very close, but it all fell apart, which is a massive shame as me and her got on so well it was unbelievable, we dated for about 6 years before it ended, now she's changed so much and doesn't want to know me anymore. Funny how people change so fast.
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I am so sorry to hear that. Despite how hard it is, I really believe that finding our other half is more like a journey sometimes. I truly hope your journey will lead to your next partner soon.
Schtumple said:
I am so sorry to hear that. Despite how hard it is, I really believe that finding our other half is more like a journey sometimes. I truly hope your journey will lead to your next partner soon.