Do you hold open a door for the next person coming?

[impulse462]

Isn't it a little selfish of you to expect a "thank you"? Shouldn't you focus on the fact that you are being courteous to other people and you get joy from the sole purpose of helping people rather than doing it for thank yous?

 

[sdilley14]

If someone is within reasonable distance (10-20 feet) and obviously making their way to the door I just passed through, I'll hold it open. If someone holds a door open for me, I always say thank you.

I think things like this are becoming lost upon the younger generations. It's a combination of a lack of common courtesy + self entitlement + being tuned out and unaware of your surroundings.

 

[samiwas]

I always hold a door open for someone coming. Sometimes I pull it open and let them through, while other times I step in, and hold it open behind me. Ut all depends on the situation. Most people seem to do this.

But when I was in Washington, DC, last year, I noticed that very few people seemed to hold the door open. There were times when I was walking towards the entrance to the building I was working in with my hands full of stuff, and the person in front of me would open the door, walk through, and let it close behind them, leaving me to fumble around. As Bon Qui Qui would say, "Rude!"

 

[HarryPot]

Door Opening Etiquette

I liked this from the article above.

Before we get to the ins and outs of door opening, let us take a moment to discuss its place in modern society, because not everyone feels its a tradition worth preserving. There are some women who are offended by it because they think it implies the inferior status of women–that women are too weak to open doors for themselves. Kate thinks that if you’re dating a woman who takes umbrage at having the door opened for her, that’s a red flag, because it signals that she does not understand that a woman can be smart and independent while still being playful about gender roles. I can’t really speak to that, so I’ll let the ladies duke it out. Then there are men who think you shouldn’t do things like open doors for women because if women want to be fully independent and equal these days, then they need to give up being treated with any special consideration. To me this is an entirely wrong-headed approach to relationships, because it’s premised on the idea that everything must be tit for tat. Yes, you open doors for a woman, but your woman probably does special things for you. If she doesn’t, then that’s the problem, not chivalry itself. It’s madness to think that equality must mean doing the exact same things for each other and constantly keeping score.

Isn't it a little selfish of you to expect a "thank you"? Shouldn't you focus on the fact that you are being courteous to other people and you get joy from the sole purpose of helping people rather than doing it for thank yous?

Haven't thought about it this way.

But I think opening a door for someone else is a favor and as such should receive at least a smile and eye contact. I won't get angry or make a fuss if they don't, but I'm sure not going to make any extra effort to help them later.

As someone said some posts above, these small things make everyday activities more enjoyable. Everyone appreciates, or should appreciate, when someone goes out of their way to help them.

 

[musicjunky]

I do this, but don't expect thank yous. When it's done for me, I quicken my step and mouth "thank you," but it's not an actual welcomed act because then I feel rushed.

 

[samiwas]

Isn't it a little selfish of you to expect a "thank you"? Shouldn't you focus on the fact that you are being courteous to other people and you get joy from the sole purpose of helping people rather than doing it for thank yous?

This kind of sounds like a guy, I believe on this forum, who asked why on earth you would ever thank a waiter for bringing you anything since it's his job. Ahh, yes…here it is:

This brings me to another thought... Why do we say thank you when people do something they're paid to do?

For example, your waiter gives you food, and you say "Thank you" Thank you for what? Bringing you your food? He better have brought you food - you're paying money for it! It wasn't any act of kindness towards you.

This attitude just strikes me as completely self-centered and lacking any sort of social grace.

 

[impulse462]

This kind of sounds like a guy, I believe on this forum, who asked why on earth you would ever thank a waiter for bringing you anything since it's his job. Ahh, yes…here it is:



This attitude just strikes me as completely self-centered and lacking any sort of social grace.

That assumption is full of crap. I am very respectful to people who serve me food as I think it is one of the hardest jobs to do. Your statement has no merit and is full of BS.

Holding the door for someone is common courtesy and there should be some sort of acknowledgment or thank you. But doing generous acts and expecting reactions is selfish if you ask me. You should do them because it's the right thing to do, not expect some sort of reaction out of someone.

 

[Antares]

Having said that, there's one situation at work where, there are 5 doors to go through to get from the entrance to the building to the office I work in. When the people directly behind me are going to the same office as me, I effectively have to open the door for them several times, and they have to say thank you several times, it's a bit awkward. What's the right thing to do in that situation? It's more awkward when I'm the one having to say thank you 5 times, lol.

Me too! It is awkward. I typically try to hurry to the door so they are far enough back so that I don't need to hold the door for them. If they keep pace with me, then I hold the door. I'm not going to wait 10 to 30 seconds for someone to catch up to me. When I have held the door after hurrying and they didn't keep pace, they then naturally had to rush to the door to keep me from waiting....which is not what they or you want, anyway.

So, I guess the solution is to go so fast that you don't have to hold the door for them or go so slow that they don't have to hold the door for you.

 

[jdechko]

Of course. It's the way good southern boys are raised. 🙂

 

[rick snagwell]

100%...and if they don't follow with a 'thank-you', i trip them.

 

[Tomorrow]

Isn't it a little selfish of you to expect a "thank you"?

No, it isn't.

Shouldn't you focus on the fact that you are being courteous to other people and you get joy from the sole purpose of helping people rather than doing it for thank yous?

If I were doing it strictly for the "thank you" at the end, I would negotiate those terms prior to holding open the door - but I don't. I do it because I'm being courteous.

It's not out of line to expect the same in return.

 

[samiwas]

That assumption is full of crap. I am very respectful to people who serve me food as I think it is one of the hardest jobs to do. Your statement has no merit and is full of BS.

Holding the door for someone is common courtesy and there should be some sort of acknowledgment or thank you. But doing generous acts and expecting reactions is selfish if you ask me. You should do them because it's the right thing to do, not expect some sort of reaction out of someone.

Errr, I don't do generous things in order to receive a response, but I do expect even a smile or just some indication that you realize that something was done for you. To completely ignore someone holding a door open for you or anything else is simply rude. Again, I'm not being generous because I want to be noticed.

Also, I was not saying that you are rude, I was saying that what you said reminded me of that guy.

 

[joec1101]

The fact that one even has to ask this question is disturbing. COMMON COURTESY is and always has been a part of human culture. Our "youth" of today, especially here in the U.S.A., have become so narcissistic, self-entitled and selfish that it's scary to think that these people are the future of our world.

Courtesy and respect go a long way - something the vast majority of our "youth" haven't been taught, but so desperately need to learn.

It seems that most, not all, have forgotten these five phrases:

Please
Thank You
You're Welcome
Excuse Me
I'm Sorry

To answer your question, I do hold the door open because that's just how I was raised.

 

[Krafty]

Yes.

I don't always expect or demand a "thank you" gesture but I do it out of respect anyways.

 

[TwoBytes]

Do you hold open a door for the next person coming?

I hold the door open and smile emitting love and peace. If they obviously ignore me, I call them a word beginning with C

Certainly makes people think next time someone is gentleman enough to open the door. One should at least acknowledge another.

 

[trewyn15]

I always do, unless someone is fairly far away. Unless they're older or carrying something, then I almost always do regardless of how far away they are.

 

[jdechko]

Also, there is little in this world that fills you with pride as much as the first time when your kid voluntarily holds the door for someone else. Major parenting WIN.

 

[G51989]

Of course not, people who walk through doors opened by hard working people are nothing but moochers, and we really need to stop giving those moochers handouts who will walk through a door being held open for them, it leads to poor people, if doors really needed to be held open for others, the free market would tell us so.

s

But yes, I always hold the door open for people, its just good manners.

 

[spencers]

I always do

 

[carjakester]

if the person is close enough to where i don't have to stand there and they are forced to get a small jog on then yes i will. i am 19 by the way.

 

[Apple Hobo]

The fact that one even has to ask this question is disturbing. COMMON COURTESY is and always has been a part of human culture. Our "youth" of today, especially here in the U.S.A., have become so narcissistic, self-entitled and selfish that it's scary to think that these people are the future of our world.

I blame the "narcissistic, self-entitled and selfish" adults raising them. 😀 It's a problem that transcends all generations.

 

[S.B.G]

I almost always will hold the door for someone coming in after me, regardless of who they are or how old they may be. It's just the polite thing to do.

 

[Shrink]

Yes, I always hold the door for others.

Amazingly enough, I also say "please" and "thank you"...even to people serving me.

The fact that the question is even asked, while perfectly legitimate, is pretty disappointing. That even the most elementary courtesy and manners is somehow notable, rather than automatic, is kind of sad.

 

[lunaoso]

Always. It's just the right thing to do. We New Englanders aren't THAT inconsiderate (at least not all of us) 😉 😀.

 

[Huntn]

Yes I do.