well, i went to try on a few different watches today to make sure I had picked the right one for me after all.
tried a 42mm leather loop for the first time - it's beautiful. it's a lot thinner than i expected (not thickness but width), but then again even the 42mm watch isn't huge. it can be hard to tell sometimes without a side by side. but it's a bit out of my price range right now, especially as i'm way out of my return period for the 38 sport. maybe next year.
tried the milanese loop on in both sizes, and it still looks good. both sizes did, in different ways. the 38mm is a little bit of a struggle to get the band over my hand, but I don't necessarily see it as a bad thing - in case of snagging, if the magnet doesn't hold at least it'll catch on my hand and not fall to the floor!
I also tried on the 42 sport. and here's where it gets interesting. it feels noticably more awkward than the 38, despite only being 5g of weight in it (30g vs 25g). I think I might have weird shaped wrists, and it doesn't sit very well on them at all. i could feel pressure between the bones, and it just didn't feel comfortable. while the sport band doesn't really have "lugs", it didn't follow the shape of my wrist in the same way as the smaller 38 does, and felt like it protruded out too far before it bent. maybe that's something that would change with constant wear, but overall it just didn't feel right. i think the problem must be the sport band for the 42 not really suiting my wrist shape; I felt the apple watch was more comfortable with the milanese and leather loops.
there's no point me losing money selling this and buying a 42mm sport... i just don't think it'd be comfortable enough on my wrist and my wife won't be as inclined to let me get extra bands if they're just for me.
i am, however, getting the milanese loop band as soon as I can.