Adapted from an old joke, but frighteningly possible:
Features of the Apple Car:
1. Every time they repaint the lines on the road, you have to buy a new Apple car.
2. Every year, you'll have to replace the Engine with a new version. This will be free, but the handling will become less responsive. The only way to fix this will be to buy a new car.
3. It will be the narrowest car ever made. There will only be room for a driver, but for some reason people will say this is better than the old clunky fat cars from over 100 years ago. Besides, everyone loves driving, why would you want a passenger?
4. Because it's so narrow, there won't be room for a steering wheel. But the car will come with an iTouch that links to the car via bluetooth to let you steer using touch screen controls.
5. There will only be one pedal. You press it with your right foot to accelerate and left foot to brake.
6. Headlights will not be user replaceable. When the headlights burn out, you have to buy a new car.
7. The oil, engine, gas and alternator warning lights would be replaced with a single "General Car Fault" warning light.
8. People will get excited about the "new" features in the Apple Cars, forgetting completely that they have been available in other cars for many years.
9. The Apple car will only work with Apple fuel. It will be much more expensive, less efficient, and more polluting than gasoline, but Apple will tell us how great it is for the environment anyway.
10. The airbag system would say "Are you sure?" before going off and start a 60 second countdown.
11. They won't build their own engines, but buy them from their most hated competitors who they're constantly involved in court battles with.
12. The latest engine will have 32 cylinders, and multi-point fuel injectors. But the fuel pump will be so under-powered that the car stalls several times a day.
13. They will replace the liquid cooling system with an air cooling system. If you ever take the car up to highway speeds, you'll have to stop for 5 minutes every half hour, but the car sure will run quiet.
14. You will only be able to listen to music on Apple Music. Playing any other audio in the car will void the warranty.
15. All roads will have to become toll roads with 30% of the tolls going to Apple. If any states refuse to charge these tolls, your car won't drive on them.
16. If you don't upgrade to the latest version every year, people will make fun of you even though your car drives faster
17. The car will only be able to drive in the right lane. The ability to switch to other lanes will require an ICP (in car purchase) and you'll have to spend 5 TimGolds every time you change lanes.
18. Using the windshield wipers will be 10 TimGolds.
19. Instead of being made of steel, the car will be made out of paper thin aluminum. Crashes will not be survivable but every will applaud when Apple makes he car 3mm narrower.