Funny things your kids have said....

[rdowns]

I took my 4 year old nephew to the park a few weeks ago. He was wearing his Spiderman costume (don't ask) with huge chest muscles. Another kid said, hey Spiderman, what's your name. My nephew turned and said Peter Parker and went about playing.

 

[Doctor Q]

I took my 4 year old nephew to the park a few weeks ago. He was wearing his Spiderman costume (don't ask) with huge chest muscles. Another kid said, hey Spiderman, what's your name. My nephew turned and said Peter Parker and went about playing.

That role playing is serious stuff for kids!

 

[balamw]

The way they've mispronounced words is always amusing, and many of them have been adopted in the family as the "proper" way to say those words.

We do that too, same reason. Milk is "mook" and juice is "apple wawa". Both kids (5 and ~3) can clearly say the right words now, and do when tallking to others, but at least with us they tend to still use their old mispronounciations.

I used to pronounce yellow "lellow".

That color will always be "lellow" to use too as my eldest did that too for a long time. A coworker who had been cured of a stutter in speech therapy told me that the therapist had encouraged him to delibrately mispronounce it as "lellow", so apparently there's some developmental reason for that.

My oldest (the "lellow" boy, now 5) didn't speak much at all until he was 2 years old, so from around 1 to 2 he was a man of very few words. Since then, we're lucky if we can get a word in edgewise with his constant commentary on life the universe and everything...

During his quiet phase "Mama" was his favorite word. Somehow, and we have never figured out why, he dubbed me "Ooh". No papa, dada, ... just ooh. We play the usual games as florifee mentioned "where's baby?", point, "where's mama", point, "where's the cat", point, "where's daddy", point. As soon as we turn it around and ask him "who's that" point to mom "mama" point to him "baby" point to the cat "Ga", point to me "Ooh". :sigh:

B

 

[kretzy]

I obviously don't have children but my little cousins come up with classics. My favourite one was just after dinner one night and my cousin hadn't finished his meal because he was "full". Five minutes later he's asking for ice-cream, but his mum how if he's already full. The answer he gave was "because it slides down easily so it's not really like eating". Little smart aleck.

 

[Lau]

One of my friends told me a story about a friend of theirs who would joke around with his little daughter by turning the colour down on the TV when she was watching it. She would always shout out "Daddy, daddy, turn the colour back" while laughing. One day they were on the bus to Aberdeen and as they got near the city she turned to her dad and said in a slightly mournful voice "Daddy...turn the colour back up...".

I think that's more of a joke about Aberdeen than kids, actually.

 

[miloblithe]

When I was little my mom and I were sitting on the porch and a Volkswagen bug rode down our street. I pointed at it and shouted out, "Beeno!"

And yeah, we've called them that ever since.

 

[pivo6]

My daycare provider is from Germany, but she's been in the US for many years. One day my middle daughter came home and proclaimed that she knew three German words.

dummkopf
damn it
gesundheit

 

[mercuryjones]

Hamster times

We bought a hamster for my daughter (5 at the time), and she wanted it to stay up and play during the day. When she asked why the hamster slept all day and played all night, my wife replied "because hamster's are a nocturnal animal"

to which my daughter replied, "well, why can't Diamond (he hamster) be turnal?"

Just had to be there, I guess

 

[mpw]

...juice is "apple wawa"...

Children always want what there friends have and as we're trying to keep ours on a healthy diet for as long as possible we didn't want to start them on sugary juices etc. too early but their friends always have juice. They now have a choice of cow juice or cloud juice at every meal.

My daughters are both in the habit of having 'elephants up theirs noses' since my wife went to blow the oldest noses when she was a toddler and proclaimed 'what are they, they look big enough to be elephants?' on seeing a couple of bogies.

When my eldest was 2 or 3 she got annoyed with the tree in our garden, when I asked why she said because she'd been trying to draw while out on the patio but her paper had been blown away. The tree only sways about when it's windy and she had therefore concluded that the tree was making the wind like a fan. I thought that was pretty smart.

 

[Diavilo1]

My neice of almost 3 refused to call my brother Daddy, it was always Matt. She is incredibly stubborn but sometimes we could trick her into it and then she would realize what she did and get mad. All that changed when their next child was born a few months ago and now its Daddy.

 

[Black&Tan]

My son is three right now, and he's a complete rioot. What I love are the inflections and the emphasis on certain words in a sentence. A few months ago, on our way to daycare, we were driving past a small house that was being renovated. They had taken the siding off and were working on the roof. The next day, we drove by it and there was no roof. I said, "Sean, how did they take the roof off?" "Oh daddy, they used two hands!" As if that was the most ridiculous question I'd ever asked.

There are countless others, but what really gets me now is when he's learning to use the potty. How embarrassing is it when you're out in public and he says "I went poopy on the potty." That just happened to me on Sunday.

 

[freeny]

When my son was about 1-1/2 we would play a game where I would tell him I was going to eat him like a monster. He would giggle and run around the house screaming. After a while he would join in and say he's going to eat me.

Things progressed and we would get more creative about what we were going to eat on each other. "Im going to eat your ear!". "Im going to eat your finger!". All were responded to with a giggly "No your not!" And he would run away.

One time we were playing this game and I happen to blurt out "Im going to eat your DIAPER!". He suddenly stopped, the smile dropped from his face and he responded in a very discusted way "Your going to eat my diaper?... Okay". as in "okay you FREAK!".

I guess I had found his 1-1/2 year old boundry stopped at his diaper.

----

Another time my son and I were walking through the park on a sunny day when we passed two girls sunbathing in bikinis. My son stopped and gave them a huge smile and they smiled back in that "he's sooo cute" way. He then turned to me with his big smile and said out loud "Big, fat tushie". Everyones jaw dropped and a lady who was walking by laughed so hard she spit out her coffee.

 

[joepunk]

No kids to speak of here (only 24 btw) but I do have a niece and two nephews. Can't think at the moment of what they have said.

So, here's a story my stepmother told me of what her daughter said. She (the daughter) could not pronounce the letter "L" and one time in public she pointed to a clock and said "C*ck"

 

[balamw]

So, here's a story my stepmother told me of what her daughter said. She (the daughter) could not pronounce the letter "L" and one time in public she pointed to a clock and said "C*ck"

That's not so bad. My oldest couldn't say "truck" for a long time and replaced the "tr" sound with an "f". So a fire truck became a fire f*ck for a few months.

B

 

[jsw]

--- Early talking ---

When Q Junior (our first son) started talking, it was way earlier than the average kid starts talking....

When Q Squared (our second son) didn't start talking until an average age, we were convinced he had a serious development problem until the doctor set us straight.

Good to know. When my first daughter was one year old (on her birthday), she had a vocabulary of over 100 words (we wrote them down). Way off the chart, and by words I mean distinct, recognizable (by others) words that were used only for the intended item, action, or sound.

My second daughter is now past 11 months of age and has zero words. Well, four, I guess - there are distinct sounds she uses for her sister, her parents, and the dog. But none of them are clear or well-pronounced in any way and no outsider would have a clue what she meant. Also no 'verb' or 'sound' words.

We were a bit concerned; I guess we shouldn't be. On the other hand, the second one is much better at getting into trouble (figuring out how to circumvent barriers, etc.). So maybe we'll have a lawyer and a mute criminal for daughters.

There are countless others, but what really gets me now is when he's learning to use the potty. How embarrassing is it when you're out in public and he says "I went poopy on the potty." That just happened to me on Sunday.

Oh, the real embarrassment is when you take them into a public bathroom and, while in there, another patron is in the middle of... poopy on the potty... and your child spends a great deal of time loudly describing the sound and odor while you desperately try to get her out of the restroom.

 

[lanray]

Narskeen

A very special friend of mine used to call ice cream "narskeen". It was amazing - we'd say "ice cream" and she'd parrot back, indignantly, "narskeen". Amazing.

Embarassingly.... When I was a wee one (no pun intended), my mother reports that I woke from my slumber, walked into the kitchen, up to the roll-top desk, pulled down my britches and relieved myself right then. Finished, pulled back the britches, and went back to bed. Left a puddle. No kidding. Hopfefully my own kids won't do this kind of thing. Lucky I didn't "really" have to go.

 

[bgd]

Making babies

My daughter (when she was much younger) on making babies...

"I know most of it but where did you get our bones? Were they just lying around?"

 

[Ish]

Once gave my (then) 3 year old nephew some crayons. He was happily drawing a picture on some white paper when he gave the white crayon back because it "didn't work".

Sometimes when children mispronounce things they still have them correctly labelled in their heads. The same nephew also had some small plastic animals, one of which was a polar bear. He kept referring to it as a "poorly bear" so after a few times I called it that too. I was swiftly corrected by his emphatic statement, "That's not a poorly bear, it's a poorly bear".

 

[jelloshotsrule]

i don't have kids. but a friend of mine's is a 6 or 7 yr old boy... he came over and was tossing a little rugby (all blacks!) squishy ball around our living room with us and was getting so damn excited. he is a big gameboy addict and so generally not very sporty and such... anyways, he was getting all excited and at some point said:

"this is just like a video game, only real life"

hahahahah

kids say the darnedest things

 

[greatdevourer]

For my cousins, up until recently, my mother's stepfather has been called "Grandpot" (as opposed to grandpop)

 

[Lyle]

Another time my son and I were walking through the park on a sunny day when we passed two girls sunbathing in bikinis. My son stopped and gave them a huge smile and they smiled back in that "he's sooo cute" way. He then turned to me with his big smile and said out loud "Big, fat tushie". Everyones jaw dropped and a lady who was walking by laughed so hard she spit out her coffee.

No kids yet, but freeny's story reminded me of something that my younger brother Todd did when he was a little kid.

My aunt Sherry was visiting, and we had gone out to eat dinner at a restaurant. All was going well when a very large woman passed our table on her way to the restroom, and Todd cried out, "Look at that fat lady!" I'm not sure, but I think he may have repeated it to make sure that no one missed out on the sight.

Well, it got away with Sherry, and she couldn't stop giggling. It didn't help that Todd was repeatedly asking her, "What is it, Shewwy? What's wrong? What is it?"

A few minutes passed, and Sherry had mostly regained her composure, when the lady emerged from the restroom, and Todd cried out, "Here she comes again!"

 

[freeny]

A few minutes passed, and Sherry had mostly regained her composure, when the lady emerged from the restroom, and Todd cried out, "Here she comes again!"

Made me laugh. Perhaps because I am well aware of that "OMFG! What am I supposed to do/say?" feeling that you get when your kid says something like that.

After all, she did have a big fat tushie.

 

[m-dogg]

Another time my son and I were walking through the park on a sunny day when we passed two girls sunbathing in bikinis. My son stopped and gave them a huge smile and they smiled back in that "he's sooo cute" way. He then turned to me with his big smile and said out loud "Big, fat tushie". Everyones jaw dropped and a lady who was walking by laughed so hard she spit out her coffee.

That's great!

I bet that girl stopped giving that "he's soo cute" smile after she heard that!

 

[jsw]

Perhaps because I am well aware of that "OMFG! What am I supposed to do/say?" feeling that you get when your kid says something like that.

Don't I know it. I've found the best strategy is to attempt to completely distract them, because anything else you say ("It's not polite", etc.) will just get a (loud) response asking why they can't say someone is fat, funny-looking, smelly, etc.

 

[vniow]

When I was little I had this habit of making noises. All time time. My favourite one apparently (from watching old videos) was blowing up my cheks like a chipmunk and hitting them to make them poot. I don't recall anything cute I actually said though, but the first few years that my sister was talking, she would always pronounce world as worlurd. She said it that way for years and it wasn't until she went to school for a couple that she realised, hey, there's something not quite right here...