I've seen Batman running around this house too. I wonder which one is the real Bruce Wayne?ToddW said:
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Funny things your kids have said....
- Thread starter jsw
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Doctor Q said:
I hear you. After about five years of marriage, and five years of dating before that, I started to feel as if there should be something more. I really never saw myself as a dad, and I had real doubts about my patience. But having a son was one of the best things I've ever done. He makes every day a little more interesting. And I love thinking about what he's learning and when the wheels start to turn in his head. He should have come with an owner's manual, but nope, no such luck. Its frustrating and tiring to read "Red Hat, Blue Hat" over and over, but when he leans over and says "you make me laugh, I love you" my heart melts. Yes, its unbelievably tough sometimes, but the rewards are worth it.
I'm now wearing a ridiculously bright jacket: red torso, blue sleeves and yellow accents. Why? Because the first time I put it on, he told me "I like your coat, it makes me feel happy."
I believe thats a running joke with three year olds. My son thinks anything is funny if you add "poopy" at the end.njmac said:
As in-
"Refrigerator....POOPY!" ha ha ha ha....
My nephew Patrick, then about 6 was staying over at my folks house for the weekend around the time they were getting ready to retire to Hilton Head, SC. Dad had rented a camera and made this TOTALLY BORING home movie of the property, water views etc..., and he watched it every night he got home.
He told Patrick that he had this really good video to watch, so Patrick sat down on the couch, and in his usual daze dad just zoned into the badly made home video.
About five minutes in, Patrick said "I have to poop," and then proceeds to get up, walk in one door of the the corner bathroom, and goes right out the other side (two doors for t he bathroom) into his room.
To this day, if someone is telling a really stupid joke, or is carrying on a boring converstation, we say "I have to poop."
He told Patrick that he had this really good video to watch, so Patrick sat down on the couch, and in his usual daze dad just zoned into the badly made home video.
About five minutes in, Patrick said "I have to poop," and then proceeds to get up, walk in one door of the the corner bathroom, and goes right out the other side (two doors for t he bathroom) into his room.
To this day, if someone is telling a really stupid joke, or is carrying on a boring converstation, we say "I have to poop."
freeny said:I personally like them the older they get. The "Baby" part I could pass on.
I told my wife she could have another but its "HER" baby.
I agree. For me, the magic age was 2. Sean was old enough to actually communicate his needs, and that made all the difference. No more trying to interpret what this crying meant or that crying meant. Now that he's 3, it's better still. He's got his abc's down, his numbers up to 50, and we're working on addition. Yesterday, we're counting school buses and he told me, "4 plus 1 is five." I was floored. Without prodding, he came up with this on his own.
There's one story that I'd love to share, about our friend's son Taylor, but you really just have to hear it. I'm not sure how to spell-out what he said, and I think it would lose a lot in the translation.
I like that line, I'm going to have to remember that one.mactastic said:
You should record yourself telling the story! Story time!Lyle said:There's one story that I'd love to share, about our friend's son Taylor, but you really just have to hear it. I'm not sure how to spell-out what he said, and I think it would lose a lot in the translation.
My little niece and nephew are 7 and 4 respectively and they are quite the pair. She is outgoing and vivacious and will talk your ear off. He is quiet and has a devilish streak in him, kind of reminds me of the villain on 'The Incredibles.' Anyway, One day they were at my mom's house and my mom helped my niece make a fake TV out of a cardboard box. They cut the bottom out in the shape of a screen and drew buttons on it to look like a TV. My niece was quite proud of it and pointed out all of the buttons to her little brother, describing each one. "This is the ON butt, O-N, and this one is the off button, O-F-F. She then went behind the TV and began to chatter away doing her pretend TV show like the little chatterbox she is. After a few seconds my nephew went over to the box and began hitting the buttons with his finger. When nothing happened he turned to my mom and said, "Bumma (that's what they call her), I hit F-F but she's still talking!"
If I can remember any more stories from this dynamic duo I'll post them later.
If I can remember any more stories from this dynamic duo I'll post them later.
Hey, I use it myself now too!Lyle said:I like that line, I'm going to have to remember that one.
A few months ago, when my daughter was first starting to put words together and forming phrases, her and my wife were eating lunch together and my daughter indicated that she wanted some of "mommy's drink"... so my wife handed her the drink and my daughter said "good girl mommy!"
iBlue said:
I keep having my fiancée's contributions for this thread...maybe it's telling me something.
Anyway, when her younger brother was little, he had a joke that went a little something like this:
"Knock knock"
"Who's th---"
"Poopyface!"
That's all. The exact moment of interruption with "Poopyface" was the key. And yes, it's now become an inside joke for us...we're 28 years old. So mature.
Ah, poop talk. Fond memories. Looking forward to it with the next one....
I was picking my daughter up from a playdate yesterday and got there early and so had a chance to listen to them for a minute.
They were putting on a play and discussing roles. One of the other girls wanted to be the director, and my daughter told her that she shouldn't want that.
Why?
"Because directors are people who only do that because people are tired of seeing them act. And they're old, too."
So jaded? At 5 1/2? I worry....
I was picking my daughter up from a playdate yesterday and got there early and so had a chance to listen to them for a minute.
They were putting on a play and discussing roles. One of the other girls wanted to be the director, and my daughter told her that she shouldn't want that.
Why?
"Because directors are people who only do that because people are tired of seeing them act. And they're old, too."
So jaded? At 5 1/2? I worry....
That's freakin' hilarious. I have an actor friend who is thinking of going into directing. I'll have to share your daughter's wisdom with him.jsw said:
A couple of months ago, around my son's third birthday, I turned on the TV and saw a chef that I work with on the TV and I said to my son: "see that guy, I work with him" and he said " oh, you do? he's cooking food". That's right, I said.
On came a Geico commercial, and my son gets all exited when he sees the Gekko and says very seriously "mommy, see that guy? I work with him!"
On came a Geico commercial, and my son gets all exited when he sees the Gekko and says very seriously "mommy, see that guy? I work with him!"
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Another one from my precocious niece who was about 4 or 5 at the time:
One day everyone was sitting around talking and not really paying much attention to the kids. My niece, being the first grandchild, isn't used to not being the center of attention and suddenly and loudly proclaims, "what am I, chopped sliver?" My mom tried to explain to her that it's actually 'chopped liver,' but she wouldn't hear of it. "No, bumma, it's chopped sliver," she said in her best 'man, adults are stupid' voice. Now, of course, we all say it that way.
One day everyone was sitting around talking and not really paying much attention to the kids. My niece, being the first grandchild, isn't used to not being the center of attention and suddenly and loudly proclaims, "what am I, chopped sliver?" My mom tried to explain to her that it's actually 'chopped liver,' but she wouldn't hear of it. "No, bumma, it's chopped sliver," she said in her best 'man, adults are stupid' voice. Now, of course, we all say it that way.
I guess you're correct
I was a casual reader of this thread, and passed up the post where you laughed at the rudeness of your child. But, after seeing this post, I had to register here just so that I could respond.
Parenting has its ups and downs, obviously. There are many good aspects, but as you've discovered, it isn't a game, or a walk in the park.
I don't know why you became a parent, and I do not care, but I was surprised to see that you believed your son's inappropriate behavior belonged in a thread about the funny things that kids say. Sad to say, I think your current comment goes a long way towards explaining the behavior of your son.
Maybe you've just had a rough day, and today you need to blow off some steam. I've had those days. But if you really dislike kids, and you really dislike being a parent, and if you really love your son, consider putting the unfortunate boy up for adoption.
Children need more than love. They need to feel wanted, needed, and secure. Its a hard job to provide all of that. If you walked into a restaurant, and you were served by a waitress that obvioulsy did NOT like her customers or her job, would you enjoy your meal?
Do you think that this might be at all comparable to the environment you are setting up for your child?
Insulting people is only funny in the movies, and when it comes from the mouth of a three year old child it is just sad. That you seem to know that you've taught this behavior, and yet you laugh at it, is sadder still.
iBlue said:
I was a casual reader of this thread, and passed up the post where you laughed at the rudeness of your child. But, after seeing this post, I had to register here just so that I could respond.
Parenting has its ups and downs, obviously. There are many good aspects, but as you've discovered, it isn't a game, or a walk in the park.
I don't know why you became a parent, and I do not care, but I was surprised to see that you believed your son's inappropriate behavior belonged in a thread about the funny things that kids say. Sad to say, I think your current comment goes a long way towards explaining the behavior of your son.
Maybe you've just had a rough day, and today you need to blow off some steam. I've had those days. But if you really dislike kids, and you really dislike being a parent, and if you really love your son, consider putting the unfortunate boy up for adoption.
Children need more than love. They need to feel wanted, needed, and secure. Its a hard job to provide all of that. If you walked into a restaurant, and you were served by a waitress that obvioulsy did NOT like her customers or her job, would you enjoy your meal?
Do you think that this might be at all comparable to the environment you are setting up for your child?
Insulting people is only funny in the movies, and when it comes from the mouth of a three year old child it is just sad. That you seem to know that you've taught this behavior, and yet you laugh at it, is sadder still.
I don't know if it's just me, but I feel more insulted and saddened by your post than by any inappropriate words uttered by anyone, including a three year old, but that's probably off-topic for this thread.depierce said:
B
Although I'm not yet a father, I've really enjoyed reading these stories - thanks to all of you. Keep up the good work and good luck with the trials of parenting!
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I'm all for the children of bad parents being given a chance through adoption but I hardly feel that a parent who loves their child, while finding the task of bringing up that child very hard and not generally enjoyable (especially a child of toddler age), qualifies as a bad parent.depierce said:
I'd be willing to bet a pound that most parents find bringing up a child hard, un-enjoyable and thankless a lot of the time and wouldn't recommend it to their friends but at the same time love their own child and would do anything for them.
I've got three great kids and would kill for them without any hesitation; I love them to bits and could not be without them. But they drive me mad and I wouldn't recommend having kids to most of my friends.
Of course my wife and I didn't choose to have children on the recommendation of our friends either and had the same 'Don't have kids lecture' from our friends who were parents already, it's just something a lot of people feel they need to do.
One thing I do know as a parent is all parents do things differently and I'd never second guess another parents way of doing things or lifestyle unless it was clearly damaging to the child or others.
Not true.depierce said:
*resists urge*