freeny those completely cracked me up. seems my son is in similar habits as yours. Sometimes people may need to hear it though. 
e.g., an old friend of mine [no longer speaking] used to have a disgusting cat that pissed in her house. <gags> That is the foulest smell on earth and she smelled like it most of the time, it drove me nuts. Well one day when she was over here she asked my son for a hug. He said NO. When she asked why he confidently replied: "Because you stink. A lot." Sad, but true and she needed to hear it.
He loves to watch me squirm. He's told people that what they are doing is "not real bright" and that they are "funny looking" and "old". He also told a cashier to "please just hurry up".
When driving he occasionally senses some frustration in me and blurts out things like: "YOU IDIOT!" or "PICK A LANE, DUMBASS!" which instantly makes me laugh, in an embarrassed sort of way.
There's one story that just happened that is hilarious, but I am far too embarrassed to tell it.
When I am about to leave the house, he always asks me "Do you have the cell phone?" and usually he offers to give you one of his toys to take with you. He loves Thomas the train and likes to give you trains to take, to help you out with whatever you are doing. I think that's pretty cute.
He unfortunately know a couple swear words (much to my horror) but sometimes I can't help but laugh. At my friend's house playing with her 2 year old EXTREMELY BRATTY daughter they had a doctor kit. He took the stethoscope and put it somewhere near her heart. A silence followed by a very serious sounding "oh crap!". Boy, he had her pegged. He also calls her a "drama queen" and it's absolutely true.
Well there, normally I am not very fond of parenting or gushing about kids, but there's a fair bit from me.
e.g., an old friend of mine [no longer speaking] used to have a disgusting cat that pissed in her house. <gags> That is the foulest smell on earth and she smelled like it most of the time, it drove me nuts. Well one day when she was over here she asked my son for a hug. He said NO. When she asked why he confidently replied: "Because you stink. A lot." Sad, but true and she needed to hear it.
He loves to watch me squirm. He's told people that what they are doing is "not real bright" and that they are "funny looking" and "old". He also told a cashier to "please just hurry up".
When driving he occasionally senses some frustration in me and blurts out things like: "YOU IDIOT!" or "PICK A LANE, DUMBASS!" which instantly makes me laugh, in an embarrassed sort of way.
There's one story that just happened that is hilarious, but I am far too embarrassed to tell it.
When I am about to leave the house, he always asks me "Do you have the cell phone?" and usually he offers to give you one of his toys to take with you. He loves Thomas the train and likes to give you trains to take, to help you out with whatever you are doing. I think that's pretty cute.
He unfortunately know a couple swear words (much to my horror) but sometimes I can't help but laugh. At my friend's house playing with her 2 year old EXTREMELY BRATTY daughter they had a doctor kit. He took the stethoscope and put it somewhere near her heart. A silence followed by a very serious sounding "oh crap!". Boy, he had her pegged. He also calls her a "drama queen" and it's absolutely true.
Well there, normally I am not very fond of parenting or gushing about kids, but there's a fair bit from me.
