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girlfriend cheated over a year ago and just came clean, what should i do?

Jeez, some of the replies on here.

Anyway, you didn't get married and she cheated on you after three weeks. For that my answer would be entirely different. But you were essentially dating and she cheated on you after three weeks. Big whoop! She really didn't know you and you didn't know her. Hell, you might have dumped her for a lot of reasons after 2 week, 4 weeks, whatever, because you saw something prettier or hotter. The fact is, you didn't. Neither did she. So, I think you even asking this makes me wonder why she has stayed with you. How about you tell her how you feel (and that you asked us doofuses on MR) and see what she thinks about you?

Anyway, you'd be a complete fool to dump her for this.
 
I think people are being a tad harsh, yes.

I'm guessing the OP's relatively young. Remember how full on that first relationship was? It can be hard, but you need to think "can I trust her"? if i were in his position, probably. we don't know the full story though, plenty of other factors in their lives. As they are living together, I'm guessing there's not too many trust issues. I'd let it go, myself.
 
I suggest you become polar explorer. A year or so navigating the frozen wastes of the icy north, eating nothing but Orca fat, drinking moonshine mixed with reindeer blood and finding solace in the arms of a buxom native bride. And grow a beard for gods sake. A good icicle covered beard.

All that will soon rid you of your girly urban melancholy. Chin up!
 
Read your own title again and tell me how silly you sound. With all due respect it happened over a year ago and she picked you. Some people aren't so lucky or good enough to be the one who gets picked.
 
MotleyPete said:
I suggest you become polar explorer. A year or so navigating the frozen wastes of the icy north, eating nothing but Orca fat, drinking moonshine mixed with reindeer blood and finding solace in the arms of a buxom native bride. And grow a beard for gods sake. A good icicle covered beard.

All that will soon rid you of your girly urban melancholy. Chin up!
Click to expand...

hahahah what happened to being.........


A LUMBERJACK!! ;)
 
cheating? she made out with some dude 3 weeks into your relationship. I don't really consider that cheating, not saying I would be happy with it, but its not like she slept with some guy multiple times or even slept with anyone at all.

Get over it. She told you. Now go "make up".
 
skunk said:
OP, you need to get over yourself.
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Along with most of the previous respondents to this thread.

You people would seriously break it off because she kissed some other guy a few weeks into a relationship years ago? Are you all a bunch of pathetic losers with ego problems?
 
Regardless of specific circumstances, the early 20s are the absolute worst time to involve yourself in a longterm relationship imo. Under 25 and worried about whether your gf of 2+ years is going to cheat on you again? F that, drop the luggage and get out there and have some fun before 30 sneaks up and bites you in the ass.
 
A make out session with another guy just three weeks after you started dating is an extremely minor transgression. Sure, you have a right to be a *little* upset but this should be no reason to dump an otherwise solid relationship.

It makes me think you're looking for an excuse to dump her, or you are so insecure that you are unable to have an adult relationship. If you can't get over this in a week or so, then do yourself and her a favor and leave the relationship.
 
OP, since this has troubled you so much that you needed to made a thread on MacRumors, I doubt you will be able to "just get over it" as many of the members here have said. It is an issue that is really bothering you. It's quite easy for an outsider to tell you it's not a big deal and for you to move on. However, do you think you will be able to handle yourself every time she goes out without you? If you are going to be paranoid and in constant worry each time she goes out with her friends, then you need to remove yourself from the relationship. Also, just because she admitted to making out with him does not mean that is all that happened. She lied to you for two years and it is quite possible she is lying to you now. If I were you I would also wonder what stimulus reallycaused her to come clean.
On the other hand, if you realize you can get over this and trust is regained in the relationship, stay with her.
 
Disc Golfer said:
Regardless of specific circumstances, the early 20s are the absolute worst time to involve yourself in a longterm relationship imo. Under 25 and worried about whether your gf of 2+ years is going to cheat on you again? F that, drop the luggage and get out there and have some fun before 30 sneaks up and bites you in the ass.
Click to expand...

I don't agree with the get out of there part, but most people I have seen in their early 20s (the vast majority) have absolutely no idea what a serious relationship is. Next to being a teen, I also can't see a time as bad as one's early 20s to be involved in a long term relationship.

But of course it took age for me to see that while many people in their early 20s knew this already and never even considered a serious relationship.
 
I'm laughing at the harsh comments. Get over it. Is making out cheating these days? Are you guys still in high school? You people are so willing to jeopardize a 2-year relationship. :rolleyes:
 
raggedjimmi said:
Why is it not?
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People have a different threshold of contact and what is comfortable.

Being Asian, I keep a fairly big distance between even people I love. But I have one friend, a big blonde female, tall and pretty and strong, who practically picks up, squeezes, and kisses every male friend she sees. I am drier from a greeting from a lab at the beach! I get kind of embarrassed but girlfriends and wives would probably freak if they saw her approach anybody's guy. :)
 
mate, i would stay with her - for many reasons already put, especially the one about her not being the cheating kinda girl. you gotta remember how she felt for you then and how she feels now are 2 totally different levels of feelings, and if shes a good girl then she wont do it again. was she drunk? who was the guy? was it some randomer?
just let her know you might get a little weird sometimes but thank her for her honesty. obviously you mean something to her anyway, otherwise she wouldnt have told you, unless she was worried about you finding out otherwise. would you have found out? or was this her genuinely being sorry? :)
 
dump her. You're always going to remember that she cheated on you no matter what the situation was. you're going to regret it if you don't.
 
here you go.
 

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Get over it and move on. But if you can't deal with it and are just going to constantly hold it over her head, then break up with her. Just know that is YOUR problem, not hers.

Monogamy is a silly concept anyway. People are human beings, not robots. They make mistakes. And you know what? A lot of people "cheat". Maybe, if people would sit back, accept reality, and understand that hey- ya know what? These things happen. Maybe a better approach is to be honest enough to tell each other that you just feel like being with somebody else once in a very great while.

Furthermore, jealousy is a useless emotion. Let it go. It does no good for anyone.
 
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