If your not receiving texts heavily then the notification system is fine. But I'd you get many at a time it can get annoying. I don't know what I like better though, because I definitely don't like androids notifications.
Just go into iPhoto, under Prefrences and there should be a drop down menu that says what you want iPhoto to do when it detects a camera(iPhone). You can change it to nothing.
Another thing which pisses me off is how iPhoto now opens every time you plug the phone in to Sync it, interrupting your workflow on the computer, even when there's no picture on the phone. I don't remember it doing that before.
Just go into iPhoto, under Prefrences and there should be a drop down menu that says what you want iPhoto to do when it detects a camera(iPhone). You can change it to nothing.