Guys, I need "girl" help :)

[CoMpX]

OK, I need some advice. Here is what's up: my friend Katya got dumped by her BF on Friday, and she has already let it go on Saturday morning. Now we are best friends, and we are the first to know everything about each other. We went to the Garden State Plaza grand opening for the Apple store today, and I just recently realized that I like her, so how do I approach this? Do I tell her now? What to do?

 

[CubaTBird]

OK, I need some advice. Here is what's up: my friend Katya got dumped by her BF on Friday, and she has already let it go on Saturday morning. Now we are best friends, and we are the first to know everything about each other. We went to the Garden State Plaza grand opening for the Apple store today, and I just recently realized that I like her, so how do I approach this? Do I tell her now? What to do?

you just realized you liked her... sure......... haha, well thing is if you bust out with the whole "i have feelings for you" stuff on her.. because you have been friends it might not fly because she could always pull a "well i feel more comfortable if we just stay friends and avoid all the crazy conflict like i had with my bf".. so eh yeah

 

[katie ta achoo]

Since It's been about 24 hours, I'd give it a while. It's really, really soon.


FWIW, if I had an Apple-lovin' guy interested in me, I'd be all over that, but that's just me.

 

[CoMpX]

you just realized you liked her... sure......... haha, well thing is if you bust out with the whole "i have feelings for you" stuff on her.. because you have been friends it might not fly because she could always pull a "well i feel more comfortable if we just stay friends and avoid all the crazy conflict like i had with my bf".. so eh yeah

Yea thats what I was thinking...and we are really great friends so if it didn't work out then it would be awkward. idk

 

[Chaszmyr]

Personally, I think if you really have feelings for someone, it's always better to tell them. It won't necessarily work out the way you want, but I think most of the time it will work out okay. Just have a semi-casual conversation with her about it sometime.

 

[Cfg5]

I wouldn't even try it. First, it's hard to get the gf label if you've been friends for a while. Second, if she does become your gf then when **** goes sour (it will at some point) your friendship with her most likely goes down the drain.

 

[CubaTBird]

I wouldn't even try it. First, it's hard to get the gf label if you've been friends for a while. Second, if she does become your gf then when **** goes sour (it will at some point) your friendship with her most likely goes down the drain.

so your saying that he should have busted out with the "would you be my gf" within the first week of knowing her? i think a lot of this stuff relies on intuition..

 

[topicolo]

I wouldn't even try it. First, it's hard to get the gf label if you've been friends for a while. Second, if she does become your gf then when **** goes sour (it will at some point) your friendship with her most likely goes down the drain.

That's the best advice so far. If you ask practically ANY girl out there if it's hard to get out of the "friends zone" once you get lumped into it, they're going to give you a knowing smile and an agreement.

You're not totally out of the game though. Try throwing in a little flirting in between your interactions. Women pick up on it very easily and it's just an innocent bit of fun. If she responds well, escalate the flirting and if she keeps responding, go in for the kiss eventually--don't even bother with the "I have feelings for you" BS. That's what ends up getting you the "I don't like you that way" speeches. Women dream about love affairs that started with one small thing that leads to another.

 

[CubaTBird]

That's the best advice so far. If you ask practically ANY girl out there if it's hard to get out of the "friends zone" once you get lumped into it, they're going to give you a knowing smile and an agreement.

You're not totally out of the game though. Try throwing in a little flirting in between your interactions. Women pick up on it very easily and it's just an innocent bit of fun. If she responds well, escalate the flirting and if she keeps responding, go in for the kiss eventually--don't even bother with the "I have feelings for you" BS. That's what ends up getting you the "I don't like you that way" speeches. Women dream about love affairs that started with one small thing that leads to another.

late night macrumors love doc info ladies and gentlemen

 

[jsw]

Since It's been about 24 hours, I'd give it a while. It's really, really soon.

Definitely. Anything now would be a rebound and transitional anyway, so wait a while if you actually want any chance of a decent relationship.

FWIW, if I had an Apple-lovin' guy interested in me, I'd be all over that, but that's just me.

It really is sad that, on a Mac forum, absolutely no men, ever, flirt with you, KT. Geez, if only some of them would....

 

[Chaszmyr]

That's the best advice so far. If you ask practically ANY girl out there if it's hard to get out of the "friends zone" once you get lumped into it, they're going to give you a knowing smile and an agreement.

You're not totally out of the game though. Try throwing in a little flirting in between your interactions. Women pick up on it very easily and it's just an innocent bit of fun. If she responds well, escalate the flirting and if she keeps responding, go in for the kiss eventually--don't even bother with the "I have feelings for you" BS. That's what ends up getting you the "I don't like you that way" speeches. Women dream about love affairs that started with one small thing that leads to another.

I think you're both right and wrong. The method you're suggesting is probably a good idea, but I think it requires a certain amount of skill to properly deploy that a lot of people don't have.

 

[jsw]

That's the best advice so far. If you ask practically ANY girl out there if it's hard to get out of the "friends zone" once you get lumped into it, they're going to give you a knowing smile and an agreement.

You can't say that without knowing the details... she might have met him when she was with the BF, for example, so the "friends" thing was a requirement. Or he or she has changed since they met.

I've had a couple of good relationships that started with "friends", so it's not true that you can't date a friend. Often, those turn out to be the best relationships.

 

[CoMpX]

That's the best advice so far. If you ask practically ANY girl out there if it's hard to get out of the "friends zone" once you get lumped into it, they're going to give you a knowing smile and an agreement.

You're not totally out of the game though. Try throwing in a little flirting in between your interactions. Women pick up on it very easily and it's just an innocent bit of fun. If she responds well, escalate the flirting and if she keeps responding, go in for the kiss eventually--don't even bother with the "I have feelings for you" BS. That's what ends up getting you the "I don't like you that way" speeches. Women dream about love affairs that started with one small thing that leads to another.

That's good advice...thanks.

 

[topicolo]

so your saying that he should have busted out with the "would you be my gf" within the first week of knowing her? i think a lot of this stuff relies on intuition..

That's exactly how it usually goes if you want to start going out with women. You're given a chance at first if she thinks you're cute, or that you have a great personality/good a flirting/etc. but if you don't make a move to indicate that you're interested in a romantic/sexual relationship, you just get slotted into the really cool friend category.

 

[topicolo]

You can't say that without knowing the details... she might have met him when she was with the BF, for example, so the "friends" thing was a requirement. Or he or she has changed since they met.

I've had a couple of good relationships that started with "friends", so it's not true that you can't date a friend. Often, those turn out to be the best relationships.

Don't bother reasoning with it rationally--many things in relationship aren't rational, they're emotional. You don't have to believe me about the friends category thing, but before you write it off, actually go out and ask a group of women first. They'll prove me right.

 

[CoMpX]

You can't say that without knowing the details... she might have met him when she was with the BF, for example, so the "friends" thing was a requirement. Or he or she has changed since they met.

I've had a couple of good relationships that started with "friends", so it's not true that you can't date a friend. Often, those turn out to be the best relationships.

I met her a while before the BF. And my theory is that since we always get along so well as friends, why not as BF and GF? I definitely don't plan to ask her out soon since she just split up with her BF.

 

[CubaTBird]

I met her a while before the BF. And my theory is that since we always get along so well as friends, why not as BF and GF? I definitely don't plan to ask her out soon since she just split up with her BF.

how long had she dated this bf?

 

[CoMpX]

how long had she dated this bf?

About a month.

 

[CoMpX]

She said it was the shortest relationship she ever had.

 

[CubaTBird]

About a month.

LOL, how cliche... well yeah then just give it a week or so.. while that may seem like a long time.. you gotta not worry about it so much or else it'll get to ya.. i think if anything invite her somewhere DIFFERENT than you usually go and then bust out yo moves there haha

 

[katie ta achoo]

She said it was the shortest relationship she ever had.

how serious was it?

 

[CoMpX]

lol, a week sounds cool. She said she wanted to go to the movies next weekend but she has a party to go to at her female best friend's house. Ah whatever I see her every day in school anywy

 

[ToddW]

Find another girl and start dating her. If she gets jealous and makes a big deal for it the go for the score. Simple thing is to play her. Find some girl that wants to go out with you and go out with her, then just flirt with you friend. Next thing you know the friend will see you with the girlfriend and she will realize what a potential boyfriend you could be and that is your way in.

I know it sounds kind of devious, but chicks do that crap all the time. Sometimes you gotta bit a dog to get the piece of tail!

 

[jsw]

About a month.

That's not even a relationship. Geez, I think we have cookies around the house older than that. I was thinking it had been years or something. A month? Ask her out tomorrow. Well, OK, Monday.

 

[CoMpX]

Her bf doesnt go to our school.