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How do you get through being in love with someone you can't have?
- Thread starter MovieCutter
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ok mj, gotta ask the obvious: Why doesn't it work if you are German? And what is it that doesn't work? The defecating? The mental image? The revulsion? The suppression? Help me out. Not knowing, stinks...
oh my god mad jew the only person ever to make me laugh out loud from a message board post. your a good egg!
That actually worked with this girl I had a crush on. I heard she got drunk and did that in some parking lot in front of everybody this one time. Turned me right off.
Nope, I'm German and it still works.
As for the OP, feel sorry for yourself for a little while, then go out with your friends to ease the loneliness (not the coupley ones though) and find someone new when you're ready. But not before. Time helps, you never forget, but it gets easier. And if it happens again, you go right back there, but you have to just keep trying. I don't know why. You just do.
Bottle the feelings up inside, never tell anyone, and hope they'll eventually die off.
Thats what I've been doing.
Still there though. I wouldnt take advice from me personally.
Thats what I've been doing.
Still there though. I wouldnt take advice from me personally.
Get involved in a group hobby, something you can do with other people...cycling groups or something. Spend some time with other people and it will be a lot easier.
If you aren't quite ready for that, start off slower and just get a hobby that wastes a lot of time...video games are a good one...reading fiction novels...something thats a big time sink, then after a while when you are feeling a little less down and more...lacking of something...proceed with group activities.
Oh...if video games and reading are not your think you could troll as many forums as you can on the net But you really should get away from things that really remind you of that person...
But I'm no shrink...I just know what I have done in the past...and I've managed to never be suicidal...or become a raving alchoholic...so I figure I can't be doing everything wrong
If you aren't quite ready for that, start off slower and just get a hobby that wastes a lot of time...video games are a good one...reading fiction novels...something thats a big time sink, then after a while when you are feeling a little less down and more...lacking of something...proceed with group activities.
Oh...if video games and reading are not your think you could troll as many forums as you can on the net
But you really should get away from things that really remind you of that person...But I'm no shrink...I just know what I have done in the past...and I've managed to never be suicidal...or become a raving alchoholic...so I figure I can't be doing everything wrong
Weed solves nothing. You need to get some premium love.
Drinking and weed will only make you more depressed. At least take your drink/weed (semi)public so can meet someone.
Pfffffft, even non-premium weed won't cause depression. Name one stoner who's sitting there crying into their bong. Lets not be silly.
(agreed on that last part though) In all seriousness, time is the answer. Just get through it. Stay busy. Drink less. really. (yes, really)
Pfffffft, even non-premium weed won't cause depression. Name one stoner who's sitting there crying into their bong. Lets not be silly.
Ahem.
BBC said:
I say drink more. And don't stunt your emotions - let 'em run wild...regardless of the consequences. I agree with whoever said you should just let her be your Ms. Right Now. Why complicate things by wondering about the future or circumstances anyways. I mean, seriously.
Oh, and if you DO have to try to forget her, then take a vacation for a change of scenery. I've heard the south is real pretty this time of year.
....
Oh, and if you DO have to try to forget her, then take a vacation for a change of scenery. I've heard the south is real pretty this time of year.
....
Stalking.
but, for realz. Just go about your life, take care of the things that make you happy, in turn making yourself happy.
but, for realz. Just go about your life, take care of the things that make you happy, in turn making yourself happy.
It's always that first time they use my toilet, I loose all interest in the relationship
Another very good suggestion.. although I still think my advice is best.
Besides, this is all she'd do if you tried to stop talking to her anyways, I'm sure. You don't want that.
that's because they stopped smoking.
I suppose I can't disagree but I find it hard to put stock into.
(who funded the reasearch, I wonder)
it also went on to say
There's no real way to determine whether these people were going to develop these conditions with or without weed. A lot of people also seek the aid of drugs to cope with one thing or another, people who might also already be developing a condition all on their own. In those instances marijuana is an innocent bystander, a scapegoat, if you will.
I don't doubt that marijuana has some potential for problems but I think it's highly blown out of proportion.
but I don't want to derail the topic entirely or anything.
that's because they stopped smoking.
I suppose I can't disagree but I find it hard to put stock into.
(who funded the reasearch, I wonder)
Pre-disposition probably does have a lot to do with it. I know it didn't do me much good!
Pre-disposition probably does have a lot to do with it. I know it didn't do me much good!
Yeah, it's hard to say.
I sometimes wonder if the consequences of too much smoking cause a bit of depression as well. Like "damn, I wish I didn't eat all that junk food because now my arse is the size of china and I have a mountain of dishes to do." It creates some motivation problems, I'll admit. I know I chose sitting and watching TV with cookies and crisps and painting my walls with lovely colours and swirls to the alternative of my history exam.
tough choices. or of course, you could look at it from the Bill Hicks perspective:
I digress.
don't we all want the person we can't have? isn't it safer in some aspects, since you know you can't be hurt anymore than the knowledge of not being able to be with that person. safer than finding out that your idealization isn't true. safer than finding your ideal person can kill you emotionally in a relationship?
what do i do to get through?
nothing. because there is nothing that really can be done. i just let the days go by and look ahead. the past is behind me. doesn't always works, but helps.
what do i do to get through?
nothing. because there is nothing that really can be done. i just let the days go by and look ahead. the past is behind me. doesn't always works, but helps.
amen. this is the worst part of being in love with someone you can't be with. when you reach this point, you no longer want to be with them, and it's a mix of joy over not being with the ******* you thought was your dream SO and sadness that even despite all that *******ry (is that a word?), you can't let yourself be with him/her because of it because that would make no sense at all.
Somehow this all seems easier when someone else deals with it, particularly when it comes to giving advice. All of us have that in us, that valuable wisdom and advice to offer to someone else, but somehow when it's with someone we care about, it goes out the window.
well of course its always easier to look at others objectively, but we just can't seem to do that for ourselves. its hard to be critical of oneself since you're trying to convince yourself that you're doing the right thing.
and lets not forget that things aren't always what they seem, and as they say "the grass is always greener on the other side". try to remember that even though that this person might seem to be perfect for you in whatever way, they have their flaws. so do you. so do i. so does everyone. try not to build the person up in your mind and it'll help you realize that they're human too.
drinking, drugs, therapists are all prolonging the problem in my opinion. yes they're certainly helpful at times. and they help you get through. but using them as a constant crutch will make things harder when it is time to let go.
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