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How do you get through being in love with someone you can't have?
- Thread starter MovieCutter
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I've been in a hard situation myself, not exactly this one though...
Anyway, when it was me I had to decide between two choices:
One: Staying depressed all day, thinking about life, her, life, her, staying in pijamas all day, eating Fritos naked.. you know the drill...
Two: Make it count! Work all days of the week, meet up with friends everyday, meet new people, do stuff you wouldn't normally do, get a hobby (especially one with girls in it).
I guess you can all realize what I ended up choosing...
Sometimes you just got to face the bad stuff head on, and besides, girls love playing "hard to get".
Anyway, when it was me I had to decide between two choices:
One: Staying depressed all day, thinking about life, her, life, her, staying in pijamas all day, eating Fritos naked.. you know the drill...
Two: Make it count! Work all days of the week, meet up with friends everyday, meet new people, do stuff you wouldn't normally do, get a hobby (especially one with girls in it).
I guess you can all realize what I ended up choosing...
Sometimes you just got to face the bad stuff head on, and besides, girls love playing "hard to get".
It's all about the balance though, mate. You don't wanna cut yourself off from relationships before they start simply because they might not turn out how you want unless you're James Bond. If the glass is half full, then it might even turn out better than expected. I'm not necessarily disagreeing with you, but it doesn't really matter because I'm starting to sway from the original topic.
the razor is your freind.
Wow
how did this thread get started? heartbroken? story please.....
Maybe I'll tell someday...not now though.
Got one, he's awesome.
Wow
But I have all this wine....
I say drink more. And don't stunt your emotions - let 'em run wild...regardless of the consequences. I agree with whoever said you should just let her be your Ms. Right Now. Why complicate things by wondering about the future or circumstances anyways. I mean, seriously.
Oh, and if you DO have to try to forget her, then take a vacation for a change of scenery. I've heard the south is real pretty this time of year.
....
You people confuse me. iBlue says drink less, you say drink more. Again...I DO have all this wine...
Ah yes, a vacation. I don't think a trip south is going to help this particular situation though...letting my emotions run wild is how I got into this mess in the first place
I take it back...THAT is how I got into this mess in the first place.
Now that could work...
Go someplace warm and sunny. Maybe the Bahamas or Aruba. Drink a bit down there, flirt with people and sit in the sun.
But don't drink more, don't smoke more. Don't get yourself into too much a rut, as ruts are difficult to get out of. Don't agonize in your self pity for more than a few hours of some good drunk tears or high relaxation.
Just keep busy. When I'm frustrated, angry, or depressed, I keep myself occupied with whatever work I might have to do. There's never a shortage of stuff to do, so just power though it all. When you're productive and get work done, you feel good about yourself.
Like other's have said, find a good hobby, keep busy, and know it's all in how you look in life.
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I had a s***** day yesterday. My iMac wouldn't burn a DVD, my front blinker went out on my car, I almost ran out of gas, and I had to sit in a stuffy room all dressed up for an award ceremony... But then I got a call from a friend with the State Police that there was an motorcycle fatality on the highway. Nothing really seemed bad after you see that Medical Examiner's truck pull up and they load pieces of a dead man into a stretcher. Ouch.
Think about stuff like that, and hopefully that will make your troubles seem small!
But don't drink more, don't smoke more. Don't get yourself into too much a rut, as ruts are difficult to get out of. Don't agonize in your self pity for more than a few hours of some good drunk tears or high relaxation.
Just keep busy. When I'm frustrated, angry, or depressed, I keep myself occupied with whatever work I might have to do. There's never a shortage of stuff to do, so just power though it all. When you're productive and get work done, you feel good about yourself.
Like other's have said, find a good hobby, keep busy, and know it's all in how you look in life.
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I had a s***** day yesterday. My iMac wouldn't burn a DVD, my front blinker went out on my car, I almost ran out of gas, and I had to sit in a stuffy room all dressed up for an award ceremony... But then I got a call from a friend with the State Police that there was an motorcycle fatality on the highway. Nothing really seemed bad after you see that Medical Examiner's truck pull up and they load pieces of a dead man into a stretcher. Ouch.
Think about stuff like that, and hopefully that will make your troubles seem small!
First, we need to stop the wine.
Than,
- Obtain some ecstasy (used to be used in PTSD treatment)
- Take the ecstasy and go out to a club.
- Meet someone new. (easy to do on MDMA)
- Become best friends with the new person. (easy to do on MDMA)
- Go to sleep using strong anti-psychotics.
- Wake up the next morning feeling like a zombie.
- Call the person back.
- Go somewhere with them as friends.
- Fall in love.
CONGRATS!!! You are now over the other person!
Wow, thats worse than the weed comment.
I had been living with something similar for the past 2 years of my life. There was this teacher(about 10 years older). I don't know why, but all I wanted to do was to be with her. We were, and still are, good friends. I still have feelings for her, but it's something I have learned do deal with.
I'm still a teen, so I know exactly how it feels to feel hopeless like that. Don't let it eat you alive, because it will. I let my situation destroy me, to the point where I considered transferring schools, but it doesn't help to run away.
I'm still a teen, so I know exactly how it feels to feel hopeless like that. Don't let it eat you alive, because it will. I let my situation destroy me, to the point where I considered transferring schools, but it doesn't help to run away.
well 'cutter...sorry to hear about this.
I would suggest keeping busy with work and friends to keep your mind of that person and to also help you realize that life really is ok or can be ok.
i'd personally lay off the wine and especially the weed. is the wine homemade or from a store? if the latter, maybe bring it back for a refund and spend the money on something you want/need?
maybe start a jar and everytime you find yourself thinking about this person, toss a dollar or 2 in as punishment for letting yourself wallow.
i wouldn't go on any trips until you are 'you' again. otherwise, you'd probably be doing yourself a disservice.
good luck,
keebler
I would suggest keeping busy with work and friends to keep your mind of that person and to also help you realize that life really is ok or can be ok.
i'd personally lay off the wine and especially the weed. is the wine homemade or from a store? if the latter, maybe bring it back for a refund and spend the money on something you want/need?
maybe start a jar and everytime you find yourself thinking about this person, toss a dollar or 2 in as punishment for letting yourself wallow.
i wouldn't go on any trips until you are 'you' again. otherwise, you'd probably be doing yourself a disservice.
good luck,
keebler
Can't lay off the wine...it's too good. It's straight from Sonoma. But I definitely don't smoke weed....not sure where that came from. Just figured I'd clarify that. Carry on...
Do you really want to waste good Sonoma wine on self pity?
If you're using alcohol to take the edge off, get some cheap French hootch, allow yourself to brood about lost/unrequited love every time you drink it (preferably while envisioning the above mentioned pooping and doings with assorted friends). When finished, smash the bottle(s) and throw them out. It may take a couple of repeats.
The next day (or hour, depending on what kind of lush you are), crack open the good stuff and drink to starting your new life.
If you're using alcohol to take the edge off, get some cheap French hootch, allow yourself to brood about lost/unrequited love every time you drink it (preferably while envisioning the above mentioned pooping and doings with assorted friends). When finished, smash the bottle(s) and throw them out. It may take a couple of repeats.
The next day (or hour, depending on what kind of lush you are), crack open the good stuff and drink to starting your new life.
But seriously.
Downers are not good for depression.
AT ALL.
They seem good and you fall in love with your sorrow, but it eventually ends up sucking donkey dong.
Stop drinking, then get out of the house and meet someone new.
Downers are not good for depression.
AT ALL.
They seem good and you fall in love with your sorrow, but it eventually ends up sucking donkey dong.
Stop drinking, then get out of the house and meet someone new.
understandable, wound still fresh. just wanted to get a better understanding of what is going on. no worries
may i say to all of the guys who have posted on this thread, it's nice to see all of u sharing your feelings. yuck i can't believ i just said that.
You could do what I did...
It has been almost 10 years and scarcely a day goes by that I don't think about it.
Maybe the pain never goes away... you just get used to it after awhile.
I feel for you, man.
It seems that quite alot of us over here have had some broken hearts lately...
Spend as much time with friends as possible, having a laugh and such things will take your mind off it. Try to avoiding listening to music that reminds you of the person, that triggers alot of memorys you need to forget.
Unfortunately time is the best medicine long term for lost love.
Hobbies (i play gutiar, that does the trick), Sports (gym...let the anger out, i find i can lift more when angry) socialise, meeting new people is definately a good way to get over it all.
It also helped for me that my ex got fat and i realised what a total psycho she actually is!
Unfortunately time is the best medicine long term for lost love.
Hobbies (i play gutiar, that does the trick), Sports (gym...let the anger out, i find i can lift more when angry) socialise, meeting new people is definately a good way to get over it all.
It also helped for me that my ex got fat and i realised what a total psycho she actually is!
I understand 'How do you get through being in love with someone you can't have?' to mean loving someone 'you can't have' - like a co-worker’s wife/husband, or the cute gay guy at the gym (if you are a woman), or that cute straight guy at the gym (if you are gay)
Admiring from afar is not a bad thing as long as you are not using a telescope or hidden camera in a bedroom - but there will always be someone ‘you can have’ who will come along when you least expect it, so keep looking and get out and enjoy the company of others - don't wallow in self pity. I do believe the expression 'There is someone out there for everyone' it is just a matter of finding them.
Now, if 'How do you get through being in love with someone you can't have?' means an ex-husband/wife or ex-boyfriend/girlfriend - whom you still love - this is harder and to be honest I don’t have much experience in this area. I have ended relationships in the past and have had relationships ended for me - but I have always rebounded and through not isolating myself I have ended up happy and am now in a 5 year loving relationship - so, good things do happen, but the road is sometimes bumpy. They say you learn from your mistakes - so make some mistakes and learn away. Again - Someone. For. Everyone
Now, about drinking, it is more fun to have a few with a significant other - or possible future significant other - and end up rolling around naked together - in/on a bed, at a secluded beach or at a Wal Mart - whatever takes your fancy.
Get back on the proverbial horse and ride to your hearts content. As the old Japanese proverb says 'Even experienced monkeys fall from trees' and although I have never seen an experience monkey (fall from a tree or doing anything anywhere else for that matter) I am sure one would get back in the tree it fell out of and not just sit on it's monkey-butt.
I hope this helps….
Admiring from afar is not a bad thing as long as you are not using a telescope or hidden camera in a bedroom - but there will always be someone ‘you can have’ who will come along when you least expect it, so keep looking and get out and enjoy the company of others - don't wallow in self pity. I do believe the expression 'There is someone out there for everyone' it is just a matter of finding them.
Now, if 'How do you get through being in love with someone you can't have?' means an ex-husband/wife or ex-boyfriend/girlfriend - whom you still love - this is harder and to be honest I don’t have much experience in this area. I have ended relationships in the past and have had relationships ended for me - but I have always rebounded and through not isolating myself I have ended up happy and am now in a 5 year loving relationship - so, good things do happen, but the road is sometimes bumpy. They say you learn from your mistakes - so make some mistakes and learn away. Again - Someone. For. Everyone
Now, about drinking, it is more fun to have a few with a significant other - or possible future significant other - and end up rolling around naked together - in/on a bed, at a secluded beach or at a Wal Mart - whatever takes your fancy.
Get back on the proverbial horse and ride to your hearts content. As the old Japanese proverb says 'Even experienced monkeys fall from trees' and although I have never seen an experience monkey (fall from a tree or doing anything anywhere else for that matter) I am sure one would get back in the tree it fell out of and not just sit on it's monkey-butt.
I hope this helps….
Turns out...even when you think you can't have her there's still a chance and something sparks that turns the whole thing around...
Not sure what we are yet...but it's something.
It's all good here gents...
Not sure what we are yet...but it's something.
It's all good here gents...
you sound like a sap.Turns out...even when you think you can't have her there's still a chance and something sparks that turns the whole thing around...
Not sure what we are yet...but it's something.
It's all good here gents...
Hi MovieCutter, I'm sorry to hear that you're in the doghouse over lost love. It sucks, no doubt.
I would write some overly dramatic journal entries that you can later rip out and shred when you're feeling more like yourself (or, keep for posterity if that's more your style... that is in fact half the point of keeping a journal).
Re: the wine, I'm sure it's delicious stuff, but take it easy. Loads of calories, and nothing aids the depression quite like getting that spare tire 'round the middle. Just saying.
This too shall pass.
I would write some overly dramatic journal entries that you can later rip out and shred when you're feeling more like yourself (or, keep for posterity if that's more your style... that is in fact half the point of keeping a journal).
Re: the wine, I'm sure it's delicious stuff, but take it easy. Loads of calories, and nothing aids the depression quite like getting that spare tire 'round the middle. Just saying.
This too shall pass.
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