How old are/were your parents?

[iBlazed]

This is going to be a pretty sad thread for some people. I was just thinking about what life would be like without my parents around. Morbid, I know, but I got to thinking about it after a private conversation with another forum member. My mom is 55 and my dad will be 60 this month. I'm 25 and the thought of a world without my parents is a really bitter pill to swallow and I know it's something I will eventually have to deal with. I always like to assume my parents will live into their 90's and I won't have to think about this for a few decades, but that may not be the case.

How old are your parents? And if yours have passed, how old were they and how old were you when you lost them? How long did it take you to get used to not having them?

 

[jkcerda]

I'm 43, mom is 93
"dad" passed when I was 11 or so. he was not "there" as a father figure, so I did not feel much, my brothers/sisters did miss him, I could see the pain in them when it happened.

 

[Mr. McMac]

My mom died Christmas day in 1997 at the age of 70 due to lung cancer. I was 45 at the time. My dad who was 12 years older than my mom died in 2001 at the age of 86 basically of old age. My mom's death really did a number on me. Took me months to recover. I wasn't nearly as devastated when my dad passed. Today I can visit their graves and not cry like I used to.
BTW, my mom's twin sister died last year at the age of 87, and her brother is still alive at 92. If my mother didn't smoke, maybe she would have lived a much longer life.

Here's a picture of my mom and myself in 1965. She was such a beautiful lady. It's a real shame she died so young

 

[Peace]

My mom died at 72.

My dad died at 83.

 

[iBlazed]

I wasn't nearly as devastated when my dad passed.

Why do you think that is? I'm worried that it will be that way with me, but I feel guilty thinking that.

 

[Mr. McMac]

Why do you think that is? I'm worried that it will be that way with me, but I feel guilty thinking that.

I wasn't as close to my dad in my adult life. Plus he got to be old unlike my mother. I have to say my father was a real pain in the ass the last few years of his life. I still miss him though

 

[citizenzen]

I'm 54. My parents are still both alive and quite active at 74 and 76.

I don't think their deaths will be much of a blow, as they've both lived full lives, and as a Buddhist, death is seen as a natural, inevitable component of life.

 

[turtle777]

I'm 43, mom is 93

Are you sure that's not your grandma ?

-t

 

[Jessica Lares]

My mom's in her early 40's, my dad is in his early 50's. I will be 26 next week.

 

[satcomer]

My mom passed away from leukemia when I was 15. My dad is alive still and is very sick, sucks to get old!

 

[Scepticalscribe]

My mom passed away from leukemia when I was 15. My dad is alive still and is very sick, sucks to get old!

That depends, really, on a number of factors.

For one thing, it depends on whether they have managed to retain their faculties, both mental and physical. It also depends on whether they are financially okay, and whether they have been able to retain a positive outlook on life.

 

[Apple fanboy]

My dad is 68 and still quite active and healthy.

My mum is 65 and not in such good health. She's wheelchair bound now and has lots of health concerns.

Trouble is I live a long way away (3 hours) so I do worry what will happen as they deteriate. My mums partner is 10 years younger than her, so that helps quite a bit. Due to my daughter, I only get to see them a few times a year which isn't ideal.

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That depends, really, on a number of factors.

For one thing, it depends on whether they have managed to retain their faculties, both mental and physical. It also depends on whether they are financially okay, and whether they have been able to retain a positive outlook on life.

I don't know. I think I prefered being young!

 

[Scepticalscribe]

My dad is 68 and still quite active and healthy.

My mum is 65 and not in such good health. She's wheelchair bound now and has lots of health concerns.

Trouble is I live a long way away (3 hours) so I do worry what will happen as they deteriate. My mums partner is 10 years younger than her, so that helps quite a bit. Due to my daughter, I only get to see them a few times a year which isn't ideal.

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I don't know. I think I prefered being young!

Well, I was one of those who never really got the hang of being young; as a teenager, I recall feeling ill at ease with my peers, and being bored out of my mind by their world and their interests. Sometimes, I think I was born middle aged.

Re my own parents, my father passed on ten years ago this coming May at the age of 75. Liver cancer and strokes (along with some earlier cardiac problems) did for him. He was the youngest of his family, and his siblings - for whom longevity is a strong suit - all of them saw 80, while two of them - one of whom is still alive - lasted completely lucidly well into their nineties - simply couldn't believe that their younger brother had predeceased them.

We - my two brothers and I, although already well into middle age - were very upset by his death. I know I certainly was, as I enjoyed a close and supportive relationship with my father who had become a close friend by the time I was an adult, and, for a woman, unconditional male love and support is one of the most wonderful things there are.

My mother - who is now 84, and has dementia - never really recovered from my father's death. They had been very happily married for 45 years, and had been dating for several years prior to that.

Actually, I now think, rather, I now know (and we have discussed this fairly recently with the benefit of the precise focus of hindsight vision) that she was utterly devastated when my father died. Indeed, from what I can see now, with hindsight, I realise that she sort of withdrew from the world and abdicated from taking responsibility for her own affairs and her own life to a certain - actually, rather large - extent after his death. Without realising possible long term effects, we facilitated this, thinking we were relieving her of burdens, 'hassle' and stress. We now suspect that the onset of her dementia dated from shortly after that.

 

[Zerozal]

I'm 43, mom is 93

Wow--so your mom was 50 years old when she had you in 1961? That is extremely unusual, even today, but must have been almost unheard of in 1961.

Next month my mom will be 78 and my dad will be 77. I'm 41. All of my grandparents lived into their 80s.

 

[Menel]

My mom's in her early 40's, my dad is in his early 50's. I will be 26 next week.

Early 40's... 43?

43 - 26 is 17. wow. Not even out of high school.

 

[Jessica Lares]

Early 40's... 43?

43 - 26 is 17. wow. Not even out of high school.

But already married for a few years. Yeah...

 

[Huntn]

My mom passed away from leukemia when I was 15. My dad is alive still and is very sick, sucks to get old!

What's the alternatve? My Grandmother who passed away at 92 wore a pin that said "old age is not for sissys". I'm 61. My Mom died at 82. My Dad still seems to be in relative good shape at 86, sharp mentally.

 

[maflynn]

I'm 50 and my mom is 70.

Wow, that's tough to type, I certainly don't "feel" 50, more like 20 but yet I've on this earth for 50 years - kind of scary.

 

[OllyW]

I'm 51 and my parents are both 71.

 

[heehee]

My mom is 70 in relatively good health. My dad is 65 but had a brain tumour couple years back and a stroke during the surgery, he's still somewhat mobile.

 

[jkcerda]

Are you sure that's not your grandma ?

-t

I am sure

 

[Roric]

Mom was 60 ( I was 30). Dad was 67 ( I was 33).
Maternal Grandmother was 74. Maternal Grandfather was 78. I was 20 and 21.
Paternal Grandmother was 85. Paternal Grandfather was 87. I was 34 and 28.
I am now 45.

 

[Nabooly]

All respects go to those that their parents have passed.

My mom is 48 and dad is 58.

 

[sviato]

I'm in my early-mid 20s, both parents are in mid-late 40s.

It's a bit of a dilemma that I've thought of recently, that is having kids earlier and having an age gap similar to myself and my parents. Or having kids later and being much older as they grow up. It's looking like it'll be the latter, if I do have kids that is.

 

[Apple fanboy]

I'm in my early-mid 20s, both parents are in mid-late 40s.

It's a bit of a dilemma that I've thought of recently, that is having kids earlier and having an age gap similar to myself and my parents. Or having kids later and being much older as they grow up. It's looking like it'll be the latter, if I do have kids that is.

If you have kids young, you have more energy and you're around longer (on average)

If you have kids later you get to do different stuff when you are young (like travelling etc.) and generally have more money when you have kids.

The thing not to do though is not make plans, and just have kids when they happen. Friends of ours has two 14 years apart. What a nightmare! Especially as she was 7 months gone when she found out she was pregnant for the second time!