I honestly can never tell how it’s going to affect me until the phone is in my hand and I’ve used it for at least a couple of days. I will return it and keep what I’ve got if it’s that much of a problem. I think it’s premature to freak out based on videos. And FWIW that white point solution never helped me at all.
I know I am somewhat sensitive, but maybe not as bad as others.
When looking at my wife's XS Max it makes my eyes hurt almost instantly.
Last year, though, I upgraded from an 11 to a 12 Mini as I REALLY wanted the small size. I think I psyched myself out into thinking I was having PWM sensitivity with it, so I did have some eye discomfort at the beginning (though to be fair, I did, too, after going back to my 11 for a few days).
Anyway, I turned brightness up to about 90% or 95%, and set reduce white point to a pretty high level, and it still flickers like mad when doing slow mo video of it, but it's much more pleasing to my eyes- and for the last year I have not had any issues with it, even when using it for 45 minutes at a time browsing this forum, Reddit, Facebook, etc.
I am upgrading to the 13 mini and hoping it's essentially the same screen, acting the same way flicker-wise as the 12 mini, so that my eyes won't even know the difference.