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Apple Unveils iPhone Air: So Light, You’ll Think You Lost It
Cupertino, California — Apple today introduced iPhone Air 2, the world’s first smartphone so light, so thin, and so advanced that it has literally transcended the visible spectrum.
“People told us we couldn’t make a phone thinner,” said Tim Cook, CEO of Apple. “So we made one you can’t see at all. It’s our most innovative absence yet.”
iPhone Air weighs 0.0001 grams, measures 0.0mm thin, and is crafted from a revolutionary new material Apple calls Vantaclear, a fusion of nothing and the concept of minimalism. It features an invisible edge-to-edge display that you’ll swear is there if you just squint hard enough.
Users can unlock iPhone Air using Face ID Quantum, which works by recognizing your aura. The device is powered by the A19 ZeroChip, a processor so efficient it draws power from pure confidence.
“iPhone Air isn’t just light,” said Jony Ive (from wherever Jony Ive is now). “It’s enlightened.”
Customers can preorder iPhone Air starting today for $1,699 (or $2,199 for the Pro Nothing model), including a complimentary empty box and biodegradable documentation to remind you you’ve bought something profound.
Apple Stores will begin carrying iPhone Air on November 31, 2026 — though you won’t see it, feel it, or hear it. You’ll just know.