Yeah. I get that. After nearly 50 years on this Earth I think I understand that movies aren't real.
You might need to get up to speed that not everybody reacts to movies the same way that you do.
I realize that I am in the minority here. I'm giving you my opinion. And in my opinion the movie failed for me because I found the lead character repugnant.
Your results may vary.
I'm not going to argue with you, but I think it's worth noting that, well, the point of the movie was that Tony Stark was a self-absorbed egotist jerk and then realized it while in captivity.
I mean, the movie basically pointed out what an egotist jerk he was.
Now, the second movie backpedaled a bit on it. But I don't think "The character is a spoiled jerk" is a valid complaint when one of the main themes of the movie is "the main character realizes what a spoiled jerk he is".
There's a rumor that Stan Lee created Iron Man on a bet that he couldn't make an egotistical, alcoholic, billionaire arms dealer into a like-able character.