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Is It Really So Wrong That I Don't Let Other People Use My Electronics?
- Thread starter MICHAELSD
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Naw my parents bought it and pay for it... But still im sticking with that.
Yeah...don't let the fact that mommy and daddy pay for everything dissuade you from telling other that they should pay for their own ****.
Naw my parents bought it and pay for it... But still im sticking with that.
I'm thinking it is time for your parents to tell you, "Get your own ****"
Don't worry I wont. I could change it to "Make you parents buy you your own ****" but I'll just leave it as is.
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They sorta are... I'm buying my own iPhone 6
Don't change the post...change the way you speak and act towards others.
Being 15 years old, and having your parents pay for everything, and wash your clothes, and cook your meals puts you in a position where telling others what to do, when you have done nothing on your own yet...is disingenuous at best...and embarrassingly foolish, at worst.
With money you have EARNED, I presume. And you will be paying the monthly feels, I assume.
This drags the thread a bit off topic, but I've thought about this before. Honestly for spending 40 hours/week in school you're earning some form of compensation in addition to education. You can't just expect someone in middle school to be able to afford an iPad on their own.
If school was considered a minimum-wage job, which it very well could be, a student would make $10,000/year but that's obviously not the point.
I don't think it's wrong at all. And the whole concept of "sharing" has nothing to do with that. When kids are taught how to share, it's about not hogging the box of 100 crayons to themselves, and pulling in a group effort when it comes to projects.
They don't call the computer a "personal computer" for nothing. Just like they didn't call it a "personal digital assistant" because it wasn't "personal".
To me, my iPhone is a notebook, and you can't share a notebook efficiently with someone else unless it was a pretty big one. But then, why would you even do that to begin with unless you were doing some project with another person (like I saw some girls doing when I was in middle school)?
I personally have never had someone ask to use any of my devices. But then most of my friends and I grew up having computers all our lives and we understand that you can't just grab someone's device and use it however you want to.
They don't call the computer a "personal computer" for nothing. Just like they didn't call it a "personal digital assistant" because it wasn't "personal".
To me, my iPhone is a notebook, and you can't share a notebook efficiently with someone else unless it was a pretty big one. But then, why would you even do that to begin with unless you were doing some project with another person (like I saw some girls doing when I was in middle school)?
I personally have never had someone ask to use any of my devices. But then most of my friends and I grew up having computers all our lives and we understand that you can't just grab someone's device and use it however you want to.
Understand what OCD is? It's very painful and very real. Please you really shouldn't judge people because you really don't know about how bad OCD gets.
I personally find your comment to come as rather ignorant since I am a sufferer and fully agree with OP.
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I see him all over, all of his posts show... a lack of maturity.
I'm totally with you. When somebody plays a game on my phone or calls somebody and gets the cheek marks in the screen, they become my instantaneous mortal enemy
The degree of carefullility is in direct correllation to whether or not someone gets to use any of my stuff. If you are careful and responsibal I have no problem lending you my phone or a CD.
BUt I'm really carefull about it;; I've leant out multiple DVDs and never got them back or CDs and they came back ruined with the person saying Oh they were like that when you gave them to me.
BUt I'm really carefull about it;; I've leant out multiple DVDs and never got them back or CDs and they came back ruined with the person saying Oh they were like that when you gave them to me.
Is It Really So Wrong That I Don't Let Other People Use My Electronics?
It's simple, if your girlfriend needs an iPad or a MacBook you buy her one
Better still, buy her both an iPad and a Macbook
It's simple, if your girlfriend needs an iPad or a MacBook you buy her one
Better still, buy her both an iPad and a Macbook
I don't like other people using my computers either, but I just politely ask them to please wash their hands before they do. I don't think that's too much to ask. As far as privacy goes, well that's what a guest account is for. But usually I'm next to them anyway.
There is nothing wrong with taking care of your expensive equipment. After all if you resell it to fund a new mbp in 3 years it will be worth more if in mint condition. It shouldn't become an obsession though.
I even share a 15" rmbp with my girlfriend, she knows I like to take care of it and while she certainly wouldn't eat in front of it she wouldn't treat it as good as myself if I hadn't asked her to. She understood and does her best.
The right girlfriend will understand it is important to you. I think it's wrong not to let her use your electronics, but it's your right to demand she takes care of them and has clean hands if she does.
There is nothing wrong with taking care of your expensive equipment. After all if you resell it to fund a new mbp in 3 years it will be worth more if in mint condition. It shouldn't become an obsession though.
I even share a 15" rmbp with my girlfriend, she knows I like to take care of it and while she certainly wouldn't eat in front of it she wouldn't treat it as good as myself if I hadn't asked her to. She understood and does her best.
The right girlfriend will understand it is important to you. I think it's wrong not to let her use your electronics, but it's your right to demand she takes care of them and has clean hands if she does.
I think we are supposed to share when we are using five dollar indestructible toys as children. Products that are expensive and personal are off-bounds to others. I think that most people understand that boundary, and most don't even try to touch it. I avoid touching other people's things; I just don't want to be the person who accidentally drops it.
I don't like people using my electronics either and my girlfriend seems to think it is okay to allow people to just use my things too. That irks me.
It all depends on who it is and the context of the situation. I never let anyone borrow anything of my electronics outside of my sight. My electronics have a lot of personal and irreplaceable information on them.
- Computers: My girlfriend can use them, but she uses the guest account. She has her own though, so that never really happens. Friends maybe, depending who it is the situation.
- iPhone: No one, ever, unless to make a phone call (and it's someone I know, not some stranger).
- iPad & ThinkPad: No one, ever. They belong to my company.
I don't think it's a problem you don't share. If someone asked me to borrow my car, I'd probably say no. Risking expensive items that are fragile is entirely understandable.
That said, you have to be able to trust people in life and not become vehemently anxious. If you seriously have symptoms of OCD, or suspect you do indeed have OCD, that's indicative of a bigger problem. There is a difference between actual OCD and what most of society believes OCD... as in "I am so OCD about keeping my room neat" versus "I literally cannot leave my room because no matter how much I clean it it is never clean. When I leave the house will dust settle and make it dirty again? etc" Additionally, if you have the inability to trust anyone in your life for relatively basic matters, that also be something to be concerned about. If anxiety and/or OCD tendencies seem to be affecting the quality of your life, it may be something worth looking into as they tend to get worse with time untreated.
I can't define OCD for an individual, but being concerned about the condition of your possession is not necessarily OCD. If your leave the item behind and you're worrying about it, like its the only thing you can think about, impeding other tasks, that might be a sign. If you constantly have to check the condition of it, that might be a sign. If you point out flaws that have been there and insist that they're worse, that might be a sign. If you keep having to go back to check to make sure its ok, that might be a sign.
- Computers: My girlfriend can use them, but she uses the guest account. She has her own though, so that never really happens. Friends maybe, depending who it is the situation.
- iPhone: No one, ever, unless to make a phone call (and it's someone I know, not some stranger).
- iPad & ThinkPad: No one, ever. They belong to my company.
I don't think it's a problem you don't share. If someone asked me to borrow my car, I'd probably say no. Risking expensive items that are fragile is entirely understandable.
That said, you have to be able to trust people in life and not become vehemently anxious. If you seriously have symptoms of OCD, or suspect you do indeed have OCD, that's indicative of a bigger problem. There is a difference between actual OCD and what most of society believes OCD... as in "I am so OCD about keeping my room neat" versus "I literally cannot leave my room because no matter how much I clean it it is never clean. When I leave the house will dust settle and make it dirty again? etc" Additionally, if you have the inability to trust anyone in your life for relatively basic matters, that also be something to be concerned about. If anxiety and/or OCD tendencies seem to be affecting the quality of your life, it may be something worth looking into as they tend to get worse with time untreated.
I can't define OCD for an individual, but being concerned about the condition of your possession is not necessarily OCD. If your leave the item behind and you're worrying about it, like its the only thing you can think about, impeding other tasks, that might be a sign. If you constantly have to check the condition of it, that might be a sign. If you point out flaws that have been there and insist that they're worse, that might be a sign. If you keep having to go back to check to make sure its ok, that might be a sign.
Same here.
I have been this way since I was a child myself. It really depends on certain things, situation, and people.
When it comes to gadgets or anything with high sentimental value, my phone is off-limits. But letting my gf borrow a portable dvd player and tablet, I am cool with depending on the length she wants to borrow it. I can be quite selfish sometimes but also quite sharing. I've let others drive my car to work. I share food easily. I drive my friends to different locations and don't ask for gas money. I can be quite selfish at certain things and be quite generous at certain situations.
But I can also be quite careful handling other people's property no matter what thing or situation it is. I hate it more when I'm the guy who ruined someone else's things vs vice-versa. As I've gotten older, nothing last forever and those things we cherish more than a baby can be replaced easily.
If the OP is in their 20's, you won't see it that way yet. That materialism and neat freak could still be in you especially if you don't have children or not in a relationship dealing with sacrifice and compromise. You want your things perfect. I was that way for a long time and still am sometimes. But look at that ailment thread. Nobody is perfect. Almost anyone will get a certain ailment at some point in their life. All of us will perish from this world. Once you reach a certain age, you will realize there are more things to life than just "things." You can't take those "things" to your death.
Agree with you both that this may be partly 'an age thing'.
Age usually confers a job, and hence the means to pay for electronic toys, devices and goods.
Moreover, age bestows perspective, and a recognition that your possessions are not the only thing that matter in life, as a number of others have already pointed out. Personal relationships also come to matter more, as you age, and you recognise that death is rather final, and - as the old Irish expression pithily phrased it: "There are no pockets in the shroud."
Privacy and boundaries - and respect of your own and other people's boundaries matter, agreed.
However, one of the things that strikes me about this entire thread are the assumptions re living and life that it seems to presuppose.
And boundaries are both physical and psychological, as is personal space. Boundaries need to be defined not just for people (those you don't want using your devices) but also, for your actual devices. There is no rule that says that devices need to accompany you everywhere.
Actually, I think part of the issue in this thread is that the sense of private and personal space has become a lot less pronounced with the increasing use of such devices, - the inability to distinguish between the personal and private on the one hand and the public and professional on the other which has caused a lot of grief to some individuals.
This is further compounded by the fact that, in people's homes, use of such devices across rooms has contributed to a further erosion of defined spaces. In other words, carrying iPhones and iPads around the house - instead of placing boundaries on where they are used contributes to this situation.
Now, I'll admit that I would not be too happy about others using my personal computer. However, my personal computer spends its entire life in my study, unless it is in my briefcase, when I am travelling.
That having been said, my two brothers do use it when either of them come to visit my mother, - if they haven't brought their own - and one of my computers is in the house, and they are free to do so. Naturally, I'd prefer if they didn't go peering into my personal files, and I trust that they don't.
In hotels, my computer lives in my bedroom. In other words, it is not glued to my hand. Likewise, my phone is either on my desk, or in my briefcase, it very rarely travels from room to room in the house.
And I am absolutely adamant that personal devices have no place in the kitchen when we are sitting down to eat dinner; no phones, no tablets, no TVs. Ever. Not at the dinner table. And no personal devices in the bedroom, either.
Anyway, I am of the school of thought that considers it discourteous to have someone using a tablet or a phone when you are chatting with them.
No one touches my phone. I do not want any one touching it. I know that no one will take care of it the way I do. I do have a iPad problem though. My family and I share one so I just take control over it and try not to let it be seen much. After all out of sight out of mind. But we do charge it done stairs where every one can see it. Mostly the only one who uses it other then me is my dad. He is one of those people I would give my phone to though. He takes care of stuff. But this iPad has scratches on it. That just blows my mind. How the **** do you get scratches on a tablet? It's not like your putting it in your pocket or taking it some where. And of course I found them after my sister had it for hours after getting a game. I also clean the screens everyday some time more then once a day. I take care of my stuff so thats why no one else should use them. Only people I would really trust with it. There are a few people that I trust. The way I deal with telling people this is...
The iPad goes up stairs when people come over and the battery is dead
My phone on the other hand I just tell people "Get your own ****"
What an entitled post. Well, I know the form my advice would take were I to be asked to proffer some advice your parents.
Yes, but while I don't doubt that OCD is indeed very painful, I also don't doubt that - in the context of relationships - the OP, and anyone with OCD, will have to learn - howsoever painfully - to adapt to some extent to the needs or desires of those with whom he chooses to have a relationship, or with whom he lives.
Both sides may have to sit down and define their respective 'red lines' and absolute boundaries. Otherwise, it just becomes one more manifestation of control - and I know that the desire to control one's surroundings is indicative of a need to try to have some autonomy and control and sense of a say in your own life.
However, it is not possible - unless one chooses to live apart from everyone all of the time - to be in control of every aspect of one's personal space, especially if there are others who play a part in your life.
Re OCD, - and girlfriends - and devices - I do feel impelled to pose the question whether the OP feels he may have 'ownership' issues in his relationships, too? If so, this is a huge red flag, and I'd advise any female to in such a relationship to exit, stage left, very, very, very fast.
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I suppose a certain amount of OCD is natural when it comes to pricey electronics, however romantic relationships are about trust and sharing - as in emotions, life, and...stuff. Maybe you should ask yourself if you trust your GF to respect your feelings about your stuff? In most cases your romantic better half would, and would probably take as much care
using your things than yourself - unless you are unwilling to share and trust, which is a separate issue that may become apparent to your GF to your detriment.
Sharing with regular friends is another thing, in most cases better to share while you are present to supervise, unless they are responsible adults you know you can trust.
using your things than yourself - unless you are unwilling to share and trust, which is a separate issue that may become apparent to your GF to your detriment.
Sharing with regular friends is another thing, in most cases better to share while you are present to supervise, unless they are responsible adults you know you can trust.