Is It Really So Wrong That I Don't Let Other People Use My Electronics?

Discussion in 'Community Discussion' started by MICHAELSD, Jul 5, 2014.

  1. MICHAELSD, Jul 5, 2014
    Last edited: Jul 5, 2014

    MICHAELSD macrumors 68040

    MICHAELSD

    Joined:
    Jul 13, 2008
    Location:
    NJ
    #1
    From a young age we are taught the importance of sharing. But even as a kid I realized how sharing mostly led to issues. Let someone borrow your iPad; they don't treat it with the same care as you and it's returned with oil all over it and a light scratch or two after ten minutes. Thus, we reach the main reason why I feel not sharing is almost justified: most of the time your expensive gadgets aren't returned in the same condition. If you're lucky it's just dirt marring your electronics, but in my experience it can be more permanent... and this is solely after letting somebody use an iPad or MacBook for a few minutes in your own home. Would expect a lot of issues if I ever let someone take either for a night or two.

    People will complain about it, and I honestly really don't even want a girlfriend touching my expensive gadgets (my family mostly understands). At this point I get awful anxiety and am extremely OCD about other people even touching my gadgets. The truth is in my experience, even a remote can be subject to more abuse in 15 minutes than someone who's careful has shown it in its lifetime. Most people simply don't treat their expensive toys with as much respect as they should; in fact, it almost seems as if some people would treat a $200 laptop the same as a $2000 one.

    When I have a roommate, even though it'll most likely be someone I've been friends with for years, I'll be very tempted to lock away my rMBP, iPad, etc. especially in guess we have company and they start using it without asking (passwords on both but still feel like they'd just throw it back). Is it awful roommate etiquette to not really want him/them to touch electronics I've purchased? He doesn't have an iPad and I don't want to come off as a (for lack of a better way of saying it) d*** but I really prefer to be the only person that uses what I purchase when it comes to major purchases.

    This will continue to be an issue for me when other people come over and want to use a laptop and tablet (sorry that I won't let them but it's a bigger issue for me than they realize if I do), but is not being homely enough to share your belongings just so stigmatized that it should be looked down upon as a bad show of character? Some people's pestering may make it seem that way. Hell, when I have my own home I'll pay with my own money for a guest tablet/laptop. Despite that, I'll probably still get grief for not letting people use my expensive rMBP (or whatever I have then) to check Facebook.

    Am I not in the right here to not want other people to mar my most expensive belongings? I doubt I'm the only one on the forum like this; hell, I've been like this since a teen when I realized when you share you don't receive your item back in the same condition. I think I have a viable solution by purchasing a guest device that's more than fair but I don't like to be stigmatized by company for this.

    Even more pressingly: how do you deal with people that find this odd? I don't want a girlfriend to dump over being "the guy who wouldn't let me on his laptop etc." even though she'll probably just think I have something to hide when in reality it's just OCD :roll eyes:.
     
  2. 2fst4u macrumors newbie

    Joined:
    Aug 9, 2013
    #2
    Screw'em, I feel the same way about my stuff. You're absolutely right most people don't take care if their own stuff which is why they won't be using mine anytime soon.
     
  3. east85 macrumors 65816

    east85

    Joined:
    Jun 24, 2010
    #3
    I see it as more of a privacy issue when it comes to computers and mobile devices. I have a lot of important files accessible for instance through my iPad and I don't want someone just casually flicking through all my photos or checking out what's in my cloud storage where all my financial and medical documents are. Even if they want to check their email the simple act of typing Gmail.com is going to bring them straight to my inbox where all my personal conversations are.

    In this day in age the supreme court has even ruled phones possess more personal data than one could even find searching someones entire house, therefor police can not search them without a warrant. What I'm trying to say is that my devices are personal, the content on them is personal, everything about them is mine. I'm not just going to let anyone use my stuff unless it's an emergency or I'm married to them. Every now and then I'll let a friend play a game if it's the only thing open and I'm next to them, but that's it.

    If someone finds it odd then I suppose that's on them, I don't really care.
     
  4. parajba macrumors 6502

    Joined:
    Apr 19, 2008
    #4
    To be honest just do what you want, it's your stuff and you decide how an when to use it. There is nothing wrong imho. I've been like that my entire life, and wouldn't want to change it as I like it this way.

    I never use my MBP with greasy hands (I often wash them just before using it etc), I' also very picky when it comes to electronics (and cars, houses, furniture, books etc). It's just the way it is, enjoy it for what it is.
     
  5. Apple fanboy macrumors P6

    Apple fanboy

    Joined:
    Feb 21, 2012
    Location:
    Behind the Lens, UK
    #5
    I have no issues with my wife or daughter using my stuff as they are careful.

    Nobody else has ever asked to use my other stuff, and why would they?

    I guess it's an age thing. My friends have there own devices and don't feel the need to check Facebook every few minutes.
     
  6. localoid macrumors 68020

    localoid

    Joined:
    Feb 20, 2007
    Location:
    America's Third World
    #6
    No, it's not wrong. Give 'em a menacing glare and say "Get a job, hippie! And buy your own !@#$#%@^ stuff!"
     
  7. firedept macrumors 603

    firedept

    Joined:
    Jul 8, 2011
    Location:
    Somewhere!
    #7
    I have no problem with my family using anything but my work computer. The only reason I do not like my work computer touched is because I do not have time to put things back to where I like them. We all have our own computers so there is usually no need to use each others.

    I guess because I am older, my friends do not ask to use my devices and besides they have their own and can check with them. It also comes down to privacy. I have files that are of no business to anyone but me.

    But it is your right whether you want to allow access to it or not. You paid for it and it is you business that is on it, not anyone else.
     
  8. ucfgrad93 macrumors P6

    ucfgrad93

    Joined:
    Aug 17, 2007
    Location:
    Colorado
    #8
    I have no problem letting my friends or family use my stuff. The way you make it sound OP, is that your possessions are more important than the people in your life.
     
  9. mw360, Jul 6, 2014
    Last edited: Jul 6, 2014

    mw360 macrumors 65816

    mw360

    Joined:
    Aug 15, 2010
    #9
    You're not going to get any good advice over this on a tech forum. You need to get over it. Your precious devices (yes I have some too) will be junk in a couple of years. When you prejudge the actions of your friends, family and girlfriends you are insulting them.

    If you have OCD, you need a diagnosis, and the people around will have to treat you accordingly. If you are just selfish and antisocial then it is your problem. No greasy dab on an iPad screen or TV remote is worth losing good friends over. When you are older, and you have cleaner friends you will have a new iPad anyway.

    Get hold of these things you obsess over and either scuff them up yourself or get a case. You will lose your girlfriend if you make her feel insecure in the relationship by not trusting her, and valuing emotionally worthless objects, over her feelings. Having a clean iPhone contributes nothing to the world and the people around you. It is pure self-indulgence and should be low on your list of priorities. That is, if you want to be well regarded, which I presume you do, otherwise you wouldn't have asked.
     
  10. 63dot, Jul 6, 2014
    Last edited: Jul 6, 2014

    63dot macrumors 603

    63dot

    Joined:
    Jun 12, 2006
    Location:
    norcal
    #10
    One on hand it seems reasonable to protect your gear and at the very least it makes sense to keep it in house at all times and only let yourself take it out.

    However, your post does read like an OCD nightmare. I know, I have been there!!

    Damage to your gear in minutes?

    ...just OCD?

    I suggest you get some help or at least read it out loud to a mental health professional. It doesn't matter what we think but it's about time to stop suffering like this and torturing yourself. I am not an MD but I work in an institution which has a lot of very challenged people and any issues I previously had against medication or western medicine were completely based on ignorance. A person may judge you as "bad" when you are irrational about your gear, but it's not so bad as it is "sick". If you have OCD like you claim, your computer gear is the least of your worries and you should seek help. OCD and some forms of anxiety are not just some habit you can rid yourself of by will power.

    If you seek help and conquer your OCD and still want to be protective of your gear, then that's OK but base your actions on rational thought not a misfiring brain that tells you there is danger when then isn't.
     
  11. maflynn Moderator

    maflynn

    Staff Member

    Joined:
    May 3, 2009
    Location:
    Boston
    #11
    I don't let strangers touch my phone/tablets or stuff.

    I do let my wife, and kids use my phone/tablets stuff. I have to say OP, your position is a little extreme and may come off rather negatively. Learn to let go, isn't a girlfriend more important then an iPhone? Trust her (or your family) and I'm sure you'll be ok.
     
  12. vrDrew macrumors 65816

    Joined:
    Jan 31, 2010
    Location:
    Midlife, Midwest
    #12
    No. There is nothing wrong at all with not wanting to let other people use your electronic devices.

    There is a reason such items are called personal electronics. They contain documents, pictures, files, and data that reveal - or could reveal - one's most personal, private thoughts, desires, feelings, and facts.

    You wouldn't let random strangers rummage through one's medicine cabinet or diary. Why should you grant other people access to your phone, computer, or camera?

    One of the great benefits of the modern age is, IMHO, wi-fi. Because it means that when I'm visiting a family member or friend, I don't have to say "may I use your computer to check my e-mail." I can simply use their wi-fi network (often the special "guest" subnetwork) and my own iPad or laptop to do the same thing. My host doesn't have to worry about me poking through their photo collections, look at their browser history, etc.

    Good fences, they say, make good neighbors. Keeping one's electronics private falls along the same lines.
     
  13. Arran macrumors 68040

    Arran

    Joined:
    Mar 7, 2008
    Location:
    Atlanta, USA
    #13
    Sharing is good, but the issues come from one-sided "sharing": The borrower wants to share your device's benefits, but not the cost.

    Personally a little damage to an expensive device doesn't bother me. Limited sharing is fine, but it would be a problem if it became habitual without some quid-pro-quo. Without reciprocity, it's freeloading at worst, or charity at best.

    The privacy issue is a big deal too. There's no way round that for iPhones and iPads and I generally wouldn't share such a device except in a fleeting emergency with me present throughout. Too much personal and work data on the devices and too much room for a fat-fingered friend to screw things up. For Macs it's easier since that's what the guest account is for. Visitors can use a guest account to their hearts content.
     
  14. Shrink macrumors G3

    Shrink

    Joined:
    Feb 26, 2011
    Location:
    New England, USA
    #14
    A man after my own heart!

    What is this "sharing'" nonsense!:mad:

    What am I...9 years old and forced to share my baseball!?

    I'm practicing my "menacing glare" even as I type this!:mad:

    Beware...
     
  15. richwoodrocket macrumors 68020

    richwoodrocket

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    Apr 7, 2014
    Location:
    Hamburg, NY
  16. Mr. McMac Suspended

    Mr. McMac

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    Dec 21, 2009
    Location:
    Far away from liberals
  17. malman89 macrumors 68000

    Joined:
    May 29, 2011
    Location:
    Michigan
    #17
    This.

    There's a difference between wanting people to be as considerate with your items as you are with them and just outright paranoia/attachment issues with your devices.

    Look, I take incredible care of my devices. I had the plastic MacBook for 7 years without any cracks or real scratches. I've never used a case for my phones and they're basically spotless. My electronics purchases are such a big deal to me - I'll budget, scour reviews, and internally debate about it all before purchasing - and yet I don't have any issue letting others use my devices.

    A girlfriend should dump you for being more committed to an iPhone than to her, for not trusting her enough to treat your devices like they're worth treating well. The only girl that should put up with that is someone equally obsessed with her devices, but you can't expect others to meet some unrealistic demands. On the flip side, a girl that just has to look through your phone/PC is equally unworthy, lacking in trust, and just isn't worth it. Luckily that's not the norm.
     
  18. OneMike macrumors 603

    OneMike

    Joined:
    Oct 19, 2005
    #18
    Is It Really So Wrong That I Don't Let Other People Use My Electronics?

    Pick better friends. I wouldn't mind loaning a friend something as the people I trust treat my things as if it were theirs.
     
  19. Huntn macrumors G5

    Huntn

    Joined:
    May 5, 2008
    Location:
    The Misty Mountains
    #19
    Regarding the OP, I say it depends on the device and who it is being lent too. I would allow a trusted friend to use my computer at my house, but it's unlikely that I would allow them to run off with it. I'd allow my Grandkids to use my iPad at my house, but I'd never let them take it home.
     
  20. iBlazed macrumors 68000

    iBlazed

    Joined:
    Feb 27, 2014
    Location:
    New Jersey, United States
    #20
    I agree with the OP, sharing expenses devices causes problems. Just don't.
     
  21. Macky-Mac macrumors 68030

    Macky-Mac

    Joined:
    May 18, 2004
    #21
    lol.....I think maybe you've gone past the point where you're putting a bit too much focus on your gadgets
     
  22. nebo1ss, Jul 6, 2014
    Last edited: Jul 6, 2014

    nebo1ss macrumors 68030

    Joined:
    Jun 2, 2010
    #22
    You need help. If you continue like this what you will be losing your girlfriend.
     
  23. 63dot macrumors 603

    63dot

    Joined:
    Jun 12, 2006
    Location:
    norcal
    #23
    I hope he sees this. It can later be wives, jobs, business associates, and other things he loses. OCD can lay waste to life the same way alcoholism or drug addiction and it's not something to take lightly.
     
  24. The Doctor11 macrumors 603

    The Doctor11

    Joined:
    Dec 15, 2013
    Location:
    New York
    #24
    No one touches my phone. I do not want any one touching it. I know that no one will take care of it the way I do. I do have a iPad problem though. My family and I share one so I just take control over it and try not to let it be seen much. After all out of sight out of mind. But we do charge it done stairs where every one can see it. Mostly the only one who uses it other then me is my dad. He is one of those people I would give my phone to though. He takes care of stuff. But this iPad has scratches on it. That just blows my mind. How the **** do you get scratches on a tablet? It's not like your putting it in your pocket or taking it some where. And of course I found them after my sister had it for hours after getting a game. I also clean the screens everyday some time more then once a day. I take care of my stuff so thats why no one else should use them. Only people I would really trust with it. There are a few people that I trust. The way I deal with telling people this is...
    The iPad goes up stairs when people come over and the battery is dead :D
    My phone on the other hand I just tell people "Get your own ****"
     
  25. Shrink macrumors G3

    Shrink

    Joined:
    Feb 26, 2011
    Location:
    New England, USA
    #25
    I'm correct in assuming, then, that you paid for the phone and pay for it's monthly fees with money that you have earned.

    Otherwise, it would be quite disingenuous to tell someone else to "Get your own ****".
     

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