Is life over?

[iHorseHead]

Yes with younger women. Then you get called a p…

It doesn't matter what others think.
My parents have 15 years of age gap, they're still together and happy and they travel around the world.
Bet they have better lives than most judgmental people.

In therapy you'd learn how to deal with such people. My former manager is moving to Thailand soon. That's also an option. His life also collapsed.

 

[grandM]

What I also find starttling is that in my life I know no women at all any more except for my mother. They always say women are caring. Why isn’t there any woman whom kept in contact? Who actually bothers to check up on me?

I am glad some women still answered in this thread but women in general seem like have been non existent in my life. I even fear they destroyed some old friendships with guys.

 

[Regulus67]

So near 50. Family torn apart ages ago. No gf, no kids. Lost my job time ago. The job brought in cash but after the work loneliness was what was left. My friends from before have their lives and no longer reply. Gave social media too long a try but after all they proved to be an illusion. Guess my life is over.

It is a tough period you are going through. No doubt about that. But find something that can innstill a sense of purpose in your life. A life without meaning is not much of a life.
So find your ideal. Find a way to work toward a better life. It is the small things that count, little by little.

This reminds me, since I was a young man, I practise what has later been expressed in a movie.

 

[iHorseHead]

What I also find starttling is that in my life I know no women at all any more except for my mother. They always say women are caring. Why isn’t there any woman whom kept in contact? Who actually bothers to check up on me?

I am glad some women still answered in this thread but women in general seem like have been non existent in my life. I even fear they destroyed some old friendships with guys.

Since you mentioned that people are going to call you a pedo I'm going to assume you are from a Western country and most likely the States. Here's what you do:
You'll start looking for English tutoring jobs in Thailand and the Philippines and in China and South Korea 🇰🇷. You'll go there and start a new life. You need friendly people, so Thailand or the Philippines or China it is. There are a lot of 'leftover' women in their 30's, 40's and older who are looking for a foreign husband. Usually they are very educated. It's a cultural thing, unfortunately.
Try teaching English and be outgoing. You need a new, different environment.

Right now you seem pretty depressed and people can sense that and often when you are depressed people will leave. It's an endless cycle.

You mentioned that you want to have children, so you can't care what other people think and simply go for younger women.
From my experiences age doesn't mean a thing. There are very intelligent young people out there and there are older people that are really dumb.

Not all women are caring, just like not all men are caring. Nowadays people seem to think about themselves only.

Don't take this the wrong way, but you sound depressed and like someone that has lost all hope in life. I'm just saying that because usually such people become a target and you'll be willing to accept even an abusive relationship. Therapy could save you from all of that.

 

[grandM]

I did not take it wrongly. I am simply putting things the way I see them. Life was no fun at all. They sometimes say when you die you see a movie of your life. It will be horrible. Loneliness, suffering, trying to work hard, watching telly. Known periods of poverty too. Atm I am not working and tbh I don’t care about it any longer. Tried very hard and did things very good. The money wasn’t enormous and it is gone. Sure they want me to work. To pay taxes for the children of other people.

 

[Regulus67]

What really helped set me on my path was a book that confirmed what my intuition had been telling me since I was 14 years old.

You mention:

I did not take it wrongly. I am simply putting things the way I see them. Life was no fun at all. They sometimes say when you die you see a movie of your life. ...

You really should watch youtube videos of people who was declared clinically dead, and who was revived.
You will see that almost all say that experience changed their lives. And they returned with a feeling that they had a purpose to fulfil.
I suggest watching interviews, because you really get different sense when you see them talk, and their body language. Something a book cannot truly express

 

[iHorseHead]

I did not take it wrongly. I am simply putting things the way I see them. Life was no fun at all. They sometimes say when you die you see a movie of your life. It will be horrible. Loneliness, suffering, trying to work hard, watching telly. Known periods of poverty too. Atm I am not working and tbh I don’t care about it any longer. Tried very hard and did things very good. The money wasn’t enormous and it is gone. Sure they want me to work. To pay taxes for the children of other people.

After reading everything what you've said in this thread I am almost positive that you should try out psychotherapy. They will also make a plan for you. My goal is to find friends and start liking people (I hate people). I've met some wonderful people thanks to that. You'd get help.

 

[Polkajunior]

I understand it feels like all is lost. you just need to keep it together for a bit and stay strong. Ive found that life springs up a new "purpose" or direction when you least expect it.

 

[ClaraStahlbaum]

I wouldn't dwell on that. There are a lot of people that never have children that have happy and fulfilling lives. Children can also bring a lot of heartache and pain.

That is the perspective that I share. I don't see why I would want kids. A lot of other people do, and from my experience in seeing how other people manage things - it isn't the lifestyle for me. Maybe when I am older I might have a different view on it.

 

[grandM]

Used to know intelligent beautiful ladies. They were successful at their careers. Single. Childless. Seems a waste.

 

[BigMcGuire]

Used to know intelligent beautiful ladies. They were successful at their careers. Single. Childless. Seems a waste.

If one's goal is to pro-create and they wanted to have children, I can see how one would see things that way.

However, an alternative to this - there are couples who can't have kids and those who don't want kids. My wife and I are happily married for almost 15 years. When we were dating, both of us had no desire for kids and that hasn't changed.

Cost of living has made having children more difficult today sure doesn't help. I have respect for those who have kids - it isn't easy or cheap.

You mentioned you are religious right? One of my favorite books in the Bible is Ecclesiastes - tho it's a bit pessimistic on life - talks about one of things we can do in this life is eat and be merry with what we've been given. 😛 Cooking for one's self, especially for others is a lot of fun.


(Just trying to be helpful) - hope you find something to enjoy today.

 

[jaysabol]

I feel so badly for you.

You have a Christian background? I know the faith is low in the West. It doesn't mean it has to be dead in you. Please get Brennan Manning's book "The Ragamuffin Gospel". It's good news for the "

Good News for the Bedraggled, Beat-Up, and Burnt Out"

God's grace is inexhaustible. God fell in love with you when you were conceived. Please read and see how this is the case! Best wishes!​

The Ragamuffin Gospel: Good News for the Bedraggled, Beat-Up, and Burnt Out

Most of us believe in God’s grace—in theory. But somehow we can’t seem to apply it in our daily lives. We continue to see Him as a small-minded bookkeeper, tallying our failures and successes on a score sheet. Yet God gives us His grace, willingly, no matter what we’ve done. We come to Him a...

www.amazon.com

 

[Le_Chiffre]

Pack a bag go to the airport and go somewhere you have never been, either another state or a different country.

If you like it rent a property there if you don’t, go somewhere else.

This is the best time of your life, you just haven’t realized it yet.

 

[M4th]

(...OK for the ducks?)

 

[cesar.baptista]

@grandM, never forget this! You are your best friend. Believe in yourself. Only you have the power to change things. Think this: In millions of Espermatoziodes, you were the one who reach the "Egg", beating every one else. That's the first greatest achivement you got. And you do it by yourself. You didn't have friends to help you. You are a regilious person. Embrace it. God is everywhere, inside you, in the air you breathe. Just talk to him. And thinks this: Unfortunately there are people that everyday die of horrible deceases, starvation, wars. And you still live. So enjoy it, just living is a bless. If you need the talk more about this, just talk and i will try to reply to you the best i known. Smile for life. 🙂​

 

[Allyance]

Visit a homeless shelter, VA Hospital, food bank, children's hospital; ask them if there is something you could do for them. I have been a member of 3 service clubs during my life, Civitan in Canada, Kiwanis in CA, and Rotary in Central NY. We raised money and ran camps for kids. Simple saying "Service above self" will make you feel like there is a lot to live for. Rotary raised over 800 million dollars with the help of Bill Gates and his foundation to eradicate Polio throughout the world. Maybe you can save someone else's life, it will give your life meaning.

 

[QuarterSwede]

Visit a homeless shelter, VA Hospital, food bank, children's hospital; ask them if there is something you could do for them. I have been a member of 3 service clubs during my life, Civitan in Canada, Kiwanis in CA, and Rotary in Central NY. We raised money and ran camps for kids. Simple saying "Service above self" will make you feel like there is a lot to live for. Rotary raised over 800 million dollars with the help of Bill Gates and his foundation to eradicate Polio throughout the world. Maybe you can save someone else's life, it will give your life meaning.

This is a great idea. Non-profits are always looking for volunteers to help. That’s a very tangible way to see your impact on someone. Most of us weren’t meant to live alone and none of us were meant to live for ourselves. Being selfless is the most rewarding thing one can do. It will surprise you how much joy you’ll get out of it. Gets to being addictive.

 

[Allyance]

This is a great idea. Non-profits are always looking for volunteers to help. That’s a very tangible way to see your impact on someone. Most of us weren’t meant to live alone and none of us were meant to live for ourselves. Being selfless is the most rewarding thing one can do. It will surprise you how much joy you’ll get out of it. Gets to being addictive.

Thanks, I have been living alone myself for the last 13 years after being married for 43 years. I miss the closeness and affection. Fortunately we have stayed good friends (without benefits🤭).

 

[The Cockney Rebel]

Where's @The Cockney Rebel when you need him?

You came in here, and whilst there isn't the professional support that would likely help, you reached out. All the things you describe are valid, but there are many people out there who would be happy to be 'lonely', without the hustle and bustle of a busy life, kid's, partner etc.
I'm 59, and been single since my mid 40's, but I don't hanker for a partner. I'm oft reminded of the "Everybody's Free (To Wear Sunscreen)" song.

Start off simple, ask yourself what things you actually enjoy doing. It could be as simple as watching a tv series, coming onto Mac rumours and participating, learning a new piece of software, signing up for an investopedia account and playing with their virtual trading app, or as others have alluded to, join a sports club, a mens shed, trying out tennis or golf, or perhaps Tai chi, which surprisingly is quite social.
If you think you are alone, and your problems are unique, you are so wrong. We all have issues, and what makes you braver and smarter than most, is you have opened up. The morgues are full of people who don't.

I love the saying "Whether you think you can, or you think you can't—you're right"

Some fantastic advice, here.

I collect quotes, and one of my favourites is thus:

Life always offers us a second chance.

It's called tomorrow.

I really do not think I can expand on this excellent response, as it is packed full with really useful advice. I wish you the best on your journey (which is far from over) and I hope you will post back when (not if!) things have changed.

Just remember, if you keep doing the same things, you will get the same results!

Good luck, mate ...

 

[BigMcGuire]

Going to be warm today here! My wife and I went to a park yesterday and saw people feeding ducks. Thought about you. Lol Even some of the ground squirrels were expecting to be fed.

The squirrel resorted to squeaking at us (we didn’t have any food). Lol

 

[dockgaze]

this book changed everything for me . . . . maybe give it a crack . . .

Carl Jung - - - 'Modern Man in Search of a Soul'

 

[boswald]

Going to be warm today here! My wife and I went to a park yesterday and saw people feeding ducks. Thought about you. Lol Even some of the ground squirrels were expecting to be fed.

View attachment 2649747

View attachment 2649746

The squirrel resorted to squeaking at us (we didn’t have any food). Lol

Great pictures! I wish mine took pictures like that.

 

[BigMcGuire]

Great pictures! I wish mine took pictures like that.

Ha thank you. I think they look terrible. Artist always thinks their own work is bad. I bet your photos are amazing. 🙂

 

[Scepticalscribe]

Used to know intelligent beautiful ladies. They were successful at their careers. Single. Childless. Seems a waste.

Why a waste?

As others on the thread have already pointed out, not everyone wants or desires children; I, myself, have never - not for one minute in my entire life - desired children, and I write as an exceedingly bookish former academic who happens to be a woman.

Nevertheless, some of my friends are exceptionally intelligent women (they are either medical doctors or people with PhDs), who would be deemed attractive, or would have been considered attractive when young women; and, as it happens, they are (happily) married with children.

But, - and this is also important - they are not homemakers/housewives, and never wished to be; they work in excellent jobs, - and are the main 'breadwinners' in their families - their qualifications ensuring that they have excellent jobs - tenured academics, senior positions in companies, medical doctors, etc - while their spouses (husbands) - who are invariably considerably less well qualified - have, to a large extent, been house-husbands, although, as the children grew up, they were also able to seek further educational qualifications, or explore their own areas of interest.

 

[Scepticalscribe]

What I also find starttling is that in my life I know no women at all any more except for my mother.

Cherish your mother.

I still miss mine.

They always say women are caring.

Come on.

Why isn’t there any woman whom kept in contact? Who actually bothers to check up on me?

Do you check up on any woman with whom you may have worked over the years?

Friendship is a two way - a reciprocal - street, in that, if it is to be sustained, it needs to be worked at by both parties to the relationship.

I am glad some women still answered in this thread but women in general seem like have been non existent in my life. I even fear they destroyed some old friendships with guys.

Do you actually like women as people? As more than - or, other than - potential girlfriends?