Is life over?

[iHorseHead]

Yes with younger women. Then you get called a p…

It doesn't matter what others think.
My parents have 15 years of age gap, they're still together and happy and they travel around the world.
Bet they have better lives than most judgmental people.

In therapy you'd learn how to deal with such people. My former manager is moving to Thailand soon. That's also an option. His life also collapsed.

 

[grandM]

What I also find starttling is that in my life I know no women at all any more except for my mother. They always say women are caring. Why isn’t there any woman whom kept in contact? Who actually bothers to check up on me?

I am glad some women still answered in this thread but women in general seem like have been non existent in my life. I even fear they destroyed some old friendships with guys.

 

[Regulus67]

So near 50. Family torn apart ages ago. No gf, no kids. Lost my job time ago. The job brought in cash but after the work loneliness was what was left. My friends from before have their lives and no longer reply. Gave social media too long a try but after all they proved to be an illusion. Guess my life is over.

There are some good advices given here in this thread.

I will chime in, because I also was in a somewhat similar situation.
One day I realised I had less than 2 years before I was 50. I decided I would not go on after 50, as I had been struggling long enough.
I migrated to Sweden in 1990. The first ten years were great, so much to learn. Language and culture etc.
Next ten years was spent trying to find friends, and possibly a companion.
The next decade was tough, as I really started to miss having children. And researching my ancestry was amazing, but also leaving me with a feeling of being a broken off branch. That was not going to be part of the tree of life.
So I started making an effort in helping my youngest half-sister who was a single mother with a son. That carried me through the next 8 years. Until our mother died, and she fought us to capture the inheritance to herself.

The last 4 years, I have made a few really good friendships with persons I shared profession with.
And then an old neighbour broke his leg during winter. He was 80 years old at that time. And we have become good friends, as he actually appreciated my help. And he has been helping me as well.

But I am planning to move when he is no longer around. Because then I will be back in the situation I was before.


My dream now is to learn to sail, and get a large boat. I have my goal set on an 80-foot sailing boat, permanently living aboard, and hopefully make a few longer trips with people who wants to live and sail on a boat for a few months at least.
I have no idea if this dream will come true. But I would love to share the experiences with likeminded people.
I will be 59 years old this winter, so this is my plan for life after 60 😆
---

It is a tough period you are going through. No doubt about that. But find something that can innstill a sense of purpose in your life. A life without meaning is not much of a life.
So find your ideal. Find a way to work toward a better life. It is the small things that count, little by little.

This reminds me, since I was a young man, I practise what has later been expressed in a movie.

 

[iHorseHead]

What I also find starttling is that in my life I know no women at all any more except for my mother. They always say women are caring. Why isn’t there any woman whom kept in contact? Who actually bothers to check up on me?

I am glad some women still answered in this thread but women in general seem like have been non existent in my life. I even fear they destroyed some old friendships with guys.

Since you mentioned that people are going to call you a pedo I'm going to assume you are from a Western country and most likely the States. Here's what you do:
You'll start looking for English tutoring jobs in Thailand and the Philippines and in China and South Korea 🇰🇷. You'll go there and start a new life. You need friendly people, so Thailand or the Philippines or China it is. There are a lot of 'leftover' women in their 30's, 40's and older who are looking for a foreign husband. Usually they are very educated. It's a cultural thing, unfortunately.
Try teaching English and be outgoing. You need a new, different environment.

Right now you seem pretty depressed and people can sense that and often when you are depressed people will leave. It's an endless cycle.

You mentioned that you want to have children, so you can't care what other people think and simply go for younger women.
From my experiences age doesn't mean a thing. There are very intelligent young people out there and there are older people that are really dumb.

Not all women are caring, just like not all men are caring. Nowadays people seem to think about themselves only.

Don't take this the wrong way, but you sound depressed and like someone that has lost all hope in life. I'm just saying that because usually such people become a target and you'll be willing to accept even an abusive relationship. Therapy could save you from all of that.

 

[grandM]

I did not take it wrongly. I am simply putting things the way I see them. Life was no fun at all. They sometimes say when you die you see a movie of your life. It will be horrible. Loneliness, suffering, trying to work hard, watching telly. Known periods of poverty too. Atm I am not working and tbh I don’t care about it any longer. Tried very hard and did things very good. The money wasn’t enormous and it is gone. Sure they want me to work. To pay taxes for the children of other people.

 

[Regulus67]

What really helped set me on my path was a book that confirmed what my intuition had been telling me since I was 14 years old.

You mention:

I did not take it wrongly. I am simply putting things the way I see them. Life was no fun at all. They sometimes say when you die you see a movie of your life. ...

You really should watch youtube videos of people who was declared clinically dead, and who was revived.
You will see that almost all say that experience changed their lives. And they returned with a feeling that they had a purpose to fulfil.
I suggest watching interviews, because you really get different sense when you see them talk, and their body language. Something a book cannot truly express

 

[iHorseHead]

I did not take it wrongly. I am simply putting things the way I see them. Life was no fun at all. They sometimes say when you die you see a movie of your life. It will be horrible. Loneliness, suffering, trying to work hard, watching telly. Known periods of poverty too. Atm I am not working and tbh I don’t care about it any longer. Tried very hard and did things very good. The money wasn’t enormous and it is gone. Sure they want me to work. To pay taxes for the children of other people.

After reading everything what you've said in this thread I am almost positive that you should try out psychotherapy. They will also make a plan for you. My goal is to find friends and start liking people (I hate people). I've met some wonderful people thanks to that. You'd get help.

 

[Polkajunior]

I understand it feels like all is lost. you just need to keep it together for a bit and stay strong. Ive found that life springs up a new "purpose" or direction when you least expect it.

 

[ClaraStahlbaum]

I wouldn't dwell on that. There are a lot of people that never have children that have happy and fulfilling lives. Children can also bring a lot of heartache and pain.

That is the perspective that I share. I don't see why I would want kids. A lot of other people do, and from my experience in seeing how other people manage things - it isn't the lifestyle for me. Maybe when I am older I might have a different view on it.

 

[grandM]

Used to know intelligent beautiful ladies. They were successful at their careers. Single. Childless. Seems a waste.

 

[BigMcGuire]

Used to know intelligent beautiful ladies. They were successful at their careers. Single. Childless. Seems a waste.

If one's goal is to pro-create and they wanted to have children, I can see how one would see things that way.

However, an alternative to this - there are couples who can't have kids and those who don't want kids. My wife and I are happily married for almost 15 years. When we were dating, both of us had no desire for kids and that hasn't changed.

Cost of living has made having children more difficult today sure doesn't help. I have respect for those who have kids - it isn't easy or cheap.

You mentioned you are religious right? One of my favorite books in the Bible is Ecclesiastes - tho it's a bit pessimistic on life - talks about one of things we can do in this life is eat and be merry with what we've been given. 😛 Cooking for one's self, especially for others is a lot of fun.


(Just trying to be helpful) - hope you find something to enjoy today.

 

[jaysabol]

I feel so badly for you.

You have a Christian background? I know the faith is low in the West. It doesn't mean it has to be dead in you. Please get Brennan Manning's book "The Ragamuffin Gospel". It's good news for the "

Good News for the Bedraggled, Beat-Up, and Burnt Out"

God's grace is inexhaustible. God fell in love with you when you were conceived. Please read and see how this is the case! Best wishes!​

The Ragamuffin Gospel: Good News for the Bedraggled, Beat-Up, and Burnt Out

Most of us believe in God’s grace—in theory. But somehow we can’t seem to apply it in our daily lives. We continue to see Him as a small-minded bookkeeper, tallying our failures and successes on a score sheet. Yet God gives us His grace, willingly, no matter what we’ve done. We come to Him a...

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[grandM]

I feel pretty much isolated in a dechristianized world. The few catholics standing over here seem more preoccupied with other faiths and their money. Yesterday I found out the local notary, whom is rich as hell, is planning to remove a small public chapel with a statue of Maria. I usually greet Her passing by. Then folks look weird upon me. I just finished writing a mail to the local priest. The mayor is of the so-called Christian party. The head of it nowadays is a muslim. He and other representatives no longer know what Pentecost Stands For. I feel I am living Revelations. They will probably toss Her away.

 

[grandM]

They were actually asked What Pentecost Means on live television. They did not know.

 

[boswald]

I feel pretty much isolated in a dechristianized world. The few catholics standing over here seem more preoccupied with other faiths and their money. Yesterday I found out the local notary, whom is rich as hell, is planning to remove a small public chapel with a statue of Maria. I usually greet Her passing by. Then folks look weird upon me. I just finished writing a mail to the local priest. The mayor is of the so-called Christian party. The head of it nowadays is a muslim. He and other representatives no longer know what Pentecost Stands For. I feel I am living Revelations. They will probably toss Her away.

You should turn that around and find strength in it. Not the loneliness, but the fact that you still have religion on your side. The people who lack it, whatever their faith may be, usually end up misguided, disillusioned, and ultimately miserable. At least in my experience. Your faith is what keeps you together. Remember, God doesn't need an audience. You keep him where he belongs: in your heart. If you do that he'll always be with you.

 

[Le_Chiffre]

Pack a bag go to the airport and go somewhere you have never been, either another state or a different country.

If you like it rent a property there if you don’t, go somewhere else.

This is the best time of your life, you just haven’t realized it yet.