Of course, everyone is entitled to their own opinion and I would support having more ways for users to customize things like this on MacOS. But not sure that I understand the complaint here. Just did a quick comparison by lining up MacOS Mountain Lion (left) Monterey (center) and Windows 10 (right) windows simultaneously on the same monitor using Parallels.
View attachment 2396762
To my eyes, it appears that the "traffic light" buttons are a little larger on Monterey than they were on Mountain Lion and not all that much smaller (although closer together) than Windows. Sorry, have not used Ventura or Sonoma. The font size on Windows actually looks smaller but maybe I changed some settings?
Anyway, thought it would be interesting to do a quick comparison where everything is showing on the same screen at the same time. I really don't have any problems with these interface issues on either the Mac or Windows. For me, operating systems are just tools for getting a job done. I have plenty of likes/dislikes, but try not to dwell on them.
I'm using a 2018 Mini with a 32 inch QHD (2560x1440) BenQ DesignView Monitor running at native resolution with no scaling. When I got this computer, there was a lot of discussion about display scaling causing performance issues with the UHD 630 graphics chip on the 2018 Mini, so I got a screen that would give me reasonable sized text at native resolution. I was happy with the ancient 23" Apple Cinema display I'd used before which is 100 dpi, so I got this screen which is around 94 dpi (a bit larger text, which I like). FWIW, I'm 75 years old and have always worn glasses.
So, this makes me wonder whether the complaints here have more to do with the size/resolution of the monitors you are using (such as the built-in screen on a laptop or an iMac)? I considered getting an iMac instead of a Mini back in 2020, but went with the Mini primarily because I wanted to make my own screen choice.