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Is this normal behavior for a Dad?
- Thread starter Chuckles
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If my Dad started worrying about the church habits of my girlfriends I'd call the men in the white coats straight away.
What's the deal with the church thing? I'd understand if he was asking about family - how many brothers and sisters etc, you know, normal stuff like that but what is the obsession with church? I guess I'm with the europeans and just don't get the whole church thing that you guys from the states seem to understand.
What's the deal with the church thing? I'd understand if he was asking about family - how many brothers and sisters etc, you know, normal stuff like that but what is the obsession with church? I guess I'm with the europeans and just don't get the whole church thing that you guys from the states seem to understand.
My mother has never demanded the numbers of my friends' parents or asked how many times they go to church. Sounds like he needs to take a chill pill to me...
If im going to spend the night a friend's that my parents have never met before they want a phone # for the parents so they can call and make sure I'm not using the sleepover excuse to go to a rave, or take PCP or whatever my parents think teenagers do (im almost 16), which I think is reasonable. (Teenagers are way more creative than that. We are way more advanced in our sneakage ability than our parents were at our age.)
However, I go to school in downtown Portland (1.5 million population in the metro area; its no NYC but its pretty big), and so i'm down there alot, includung weekends with and after school with friends. My mom wants to know where I am, so I just call her up every now and then and tell her what I'm doing. I don't mind and she is satisfied.
I can understand your dad wanting the phone number, but church and attendance record?! Thats just creepy.
However, I go to school in downtown Portland (1.5 million population in the metro area; its no NYC but its pretty big), and so i'm down there alot, includung weekends with and after school with friends. My mom wants to know where I am, so I just call her up every now and then and tell her what I'm doing. I don't mind and she is satisfied.
I can understand your dad wanting the phone number, but church and attendance record?! Thats just creepy.
I think it's somewhat understandable, but only under certain conditions that might or might now apply. I'm pretty sure that Mormons are fairly against interdating/marriage (don't quote me though), and I'm sure it carries over to other religions or sub-sects of religions. For me, my parents would like for me to date/marry a nice Jewish girl, and I'd like to do just that, so it's really not that much of a problem for me. 
This is completely abnormal if you're not even dating.
If you were, then I could understand getting the other parents' phone number. Actually, I don't see the point of that either, but as a kid, it's something I could live with and kinda understand.
"So how was she son?"
"Awesome!!"
"BOOYAH!"
*father + son high-five!*
If you were, then I could understand getting the other parents' phone number. Actually, I don't see the point of that either, but as a kid, it's something I could live with and kinda understand.
cycocelica said:
Hector said:
"So how was she son?"
"Awesome!!"
"BOOYAH!"
*father + son high-five!*
Abstract said:
Off-topic: Though kind of weird, I think that was the funniest thing I've ever read on MR to date. Well done.
My mother just uses my cell phone to contact me when I'm out and about, and she never calls my freind's parents to make sure that I'm over there. She probably should, though... but I'm glad she doesn't.
There's no telling how many time's I've been at a show in Dallas and have had to find a quiet place to call my mom and tell her I'm at my friend's house. It isn't right, and I know that, but nothing bad has ever happened because of it. It's not like I'm out doing drugs or drinking; I'm just at a show.
There's no telling how many time's I've been at a show in Dallas and have had to find a quiet place to call my mom and tell her I'm at my friend's house. It isn't right, and I know that, but nothing bad has ever happened because of it. It's not like I'm out doing drugs or drinking; I'm just at a show.
Thanks for the replies.
I just got back from hanging out with her and we had a lot of fun. I think there might be a little chemestry inbetween us.
My Dad is weird about religious beliefs. He would never EVER let me date a non-Christian. When she is a Christian, there's only certain kinds of Christians he can tolerate. The girl I went out with tonight is Catholic. Let me quote my Dad...
I'm kind of ticked. I'm a Christian. As long as she's a true Christian (accepting of Jesus and believing the Bible has a whole), I don't have a problem going out with her. My Dad seems to think that people with slightly different religious beliefs are evil. As long as I'll see them in heaven, I don't see what's wrong with it.
I just got back from hanging out with her and we had a lot of fun. I think there might be a little chemestry inbetween us.
My Dad is weird about religious beliefs. He would never EVER let me date a non-Christian. When she is a Christian, there's only certain kinds of Christians he can tolerate. The girl I went out with tonight is Catholic. Let me quote my Dad...
I'm kind of ticked. I'm a Christian. As long as she's a true Christian (accepting of Jesus and believing the Bible has a whole), I don't have a problem going out with her. My Dad seems to think that people with slightly different religious beliefs are evil. As long as I'll see them in heaven, I don't see what's wrong with it.
Could your dad be anymore ignorant? Not to be mean but seriously this is the 21st century and you live in America. If you can not accept others because of religion then there is something very wrong with you.
Tell your dad to go to hell.
Ok, just tell your dad what you think, and that he'll have to let you make your own choices. I wish I knew more about the Bible right now so that I can say something like, "But father, in 'Peter, Paul, and Mary 3:1562, Paragraph 4', it states that everyone who believes in God will go to heaven" or something like that, but I can't.
If you can think of something in the Bible that says to tolerate other people's beliefs, or that anybody who believes in God is loved equally and without prejudice, then that would be a good angle.
Ok, just tell your dad what you think, and that he'll have to let you make your own choices. I wish I knew more about the Bible right now so that I can say something like, "But father, in 'Peter, Paul, and Mary 3:1562, Paragraph 4', it states that everyone who believes in God will go to heaven" or something like that, but I can't.
If you can think of something in the Bible that says to tolerate other people's beliefs, or that anybody who believes in God is loved equally and without prejudice, then that would be a good angle.
you can date whoever you damn well please, be it a christian girl, or an atheist boy
imo your dad is acting cult like, if i were you'd bust out with some bible quotes that way he cant argue and he respects you more for biblical knowledge.
you need to do some serious questioning of your beliefs, if i knew you personally or had the time i'd turn you into a liberal atheist in about a week.
blind faith is just that, blind.
imo your dad is acting cult like, if i were you'd bust out with some bible quotes that way he cant argue and he respects you more for biblical knowledge.
you need to do some serious questioning of your beliefs, if i knew you personally or had the time i'd turn you into a liberal atheist in about a week.
blind faith is just that, blind.
Chuckles said:Thanks for the replies.
I just got back from hanging out with her and we had a lot of fun. I think there might be a little chemestry inbetween us.
My Dad is weird about religious beliefs. He would never EVER let me date a non-Christian. When she is a Christian, there's only certain kinds of Christians he can tolerate. The girl I went out with tonight is Catholic. Let me quote my Dad...
I'm kind of ticked. I'm a Christian. As long as she's a true Christian (accepting of Jesus and believing the Bible has a whole), I don't have a problem going out with her. My Dad seems to think that people with slightly different religious beliefs are evil. As long as I'll see them in heaven, I don't see what's wrong with it.
Not to be disrespectful, but go slap your dad 'round the head right now. Tell him a jew told you to do it, and maybe he won't blame you, he'll blame me, the infidel. Or whatever.
Everybody is entitled to their religious beliefs, but when those beliefs become forced on other people, offspring included, that is bad. In extreme cases it is called repression. Tell your dad what you believe, and do not waiver in your stance. It is the only way you are ever going to be able to deal with this, especially as you get older and you date more and more, you will want to have some sort of understanding about religion with your father.
Ok, so maybe the advice is a bit extreme, but its what I would do.
The Bible is quite clear that believers should not marry unbelievers. It even goes into further detail when it mentions that when a person becomes a believer after they are married to not divorce the other because of their unbelief. It should also be stated that many protestants do not believe Catholics to be "true" Christians. Your father seems to put a bit more importance on the subject than anyone I have heard of. I was on the other end of the date once where the girls father wanted similar information about me. He wanted me to go to church with her on Sunday in exchange for a date on Saturday. That was my first time in church in 10 years. As an aside, we decided to not date each other anymore a few dates later but I kept going and a few months later became a believer myself at the age of 17. If it was not for the interferring, backwards old dad who (*gasp*) cared about who his daughter dated, I wouldn't be anywhere close to who I am today.Abstract said:Tell your dad to go to hell.
Ok, just tell your dad what you think, and that he'll have to let you make your own choices. I wish I knew more about the Bible right now so that I can say something like, "But father, in 'Peter, Paul, and Mary 3:1562, Paragraph 4', it states that everyone who believes in God will go to heaven" or something like that, but I can't.
If you can think of something in the Bible that says to tolerate other people's beliefs, or that anybody who believes in God is loved equally and without prejudice, then that would be a good angle.
This whole thread reminded me of the Gems of Parental Wisdom from three years ago for some reason.
Anywho, I find it normal for a contact number for the girls parents. Most of the friends parents I knew wanted the same thing from me or my parents. But the church thing is throwing me for a complete loop.
Anywho, I find it normal for a contact number for the girls parents. Most of the friends parents I knew wanted the same thing from me or my parents. But the church thing is throwing me for a complete loop.
Your read on what he's "trying to" do is important. It could be many things both positive and negative including "protect", "nurture", "control" among others. Why don't you ask him? Do you think your father trusts you? What have you done to earn that trust? Do you trust him? Why or why not? If you're 15, you're not becoming a young man, you are one. It would be a big step to show emotional maturity on your part to go and sit down with your dad and have a "man to man" talk. Don't bail out. Ride the dragon all the way 'til you both get to an understanding. That would fast track the answers to some of your questions. Good luck.Chuckles said:I'm 15.
I understand that he's just trying to protect me. This isn't a complaint. It's simply wondering. Had to make that clear.
Hector said:you can date whoever you damn well please, be it a christian girl, or an atheist boy
....you need to do some serious questioning of your beliefs, if i knew you personally or had the time i'd turn you into a liberal atheist in about a week.
I believe the original poster of this thread actually believes in God, but doesn't believe that certain types of Christians are "true believers," so before you tell him to question his beliefs because of what his father says, maybe he should only question that part of the religion. His problem has nothing to do with believing in God. That didn't cause the problem. His father's belief that the girl isn't a true believer is the problem. The OP doesn't have to agree with that part of the religion and still follow the rest without questioning his beliefs at all.
treblah said:When I was 16 (7 years ago) my Dad would have given me money and condoms if I was gonna spend a Saturday night out with a girl instead of in front of the computer. True story.
If I was your father, I'd go so far as to call a few of my mates to say, "You see, I told you my son wasn't gay!"
Interesting thread.
As a Christian, I can empathize with the OP's father's questioning -- and as a son, I can definitely relate (Although in my case it's my MOTHER who always had the invasive line of questioning...)
Contact info, definitely. Whether or not the girl went to church, fine. But which one, and how often, and anything more than this, I'd start getting defensive.
It's already been mentioned that the Bible says that Christians shouldn't marry non-Christians, and this is a viewpoint I tend to agree with. That said, I would certainly not want to FORCE my opinion onto someone. If you're a Christian and you really have your heart set on marrying a non-Christian, I might express concern that you might have trouble making it work 100% of the time, but beyond that, I sure wouldn't condemn you or think less of you for it.
And for the record, I believe that, not simply because "the Bible said so" (e.g. a blind faith) but because I believe it makes logical sense. If you are a NASCAR fan, and you live and breath, eat and sleep NASCAR, it will probably not work out well for you to marry a girl who hates NASCAR, or doesn't care much for it -- at best, you don't have anyone to share your joy when your favourite team wins, at worst, it could be a cause of arguments within your household.
As a Christian, I can empathize with the OP's father's questioning -- and as a son, I can definitely relate
(Although in my case it's my MOTHER who always had the invasive line of questioning...)Contact info, definitely. Whether or not the girl went to church, fine. But which one, and how often, and anything more than this, I'd start getting defensive.
It's already been mentioned that the Bible says that Christians shouldn't marry non-Christians, and this is a viewpoint I tend to agree with. That said, I would certainly not want to FORCE my opinion onto someone. If you're a Christian and you really have your heart set on marrying a non-Christian, I might express concern that you might have trouble making it work 100% of the time, but beyond that, I sure wouldn't condemn you or think less of you for it.
And for the record, I believe that, not simply because "the Bible said so" (e.g. a blind faith) but because I believe it makes logical sense. If you are a NASCAR fan, and you live and breath, eat and sleep NASCAR, it will probably not work out well for you to marry a girl who hates NASCAR, or doesn't care much for it -- at best, you don't have anyone to share your joy when your favourite team wins, at worst, it could be a cause of arguments within your household.
How often someone goes to church has nothing to do with who they are as a person. He's just being overly paranoid.
And that's why I love religion
And that's why I love religion
C
CompUser
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Well is it normal to have a Dad like my dad? A person obsessed with work, and does not pay attention to anything that happens in his kids life. He pretends to be concerned but he is so detached from his family that it doesn't work.
I'll stop complaining now.
I'll stop complaining now.