Is this normal behavior for a Dad?

[OutThere]

Religion can be an excellent guide in life, if you take a realistic approach to it.

I mean, look at where we are in the world today, and then try to justify blind belief in a book written thousands of years ago by who-knows-who (really).

Most religions simply provide an frame for guiding thought on what is right and wrong.....when they are taken to far they can be limiting and, ultimately, silly.

Being realistic, is dating a Buddhist, a Jew, a Hindi or a Muslim actually going to affect your future in heaven...?

I would usually suggest a man-to-man conversation, but it doesn't sound like he's all that responsive to that. It's very doubtful that you can change his views on religious restrictions, but you might be able to convince him to be a bit more lenient with you....at this point dating is just something fun between you and a girl...it doesn't have any bearing on marriage. I don't think there are rules about being friends with non-christians...and as long as you're not getting married, should it matter who you're friends with?

 

[Mord]

I believe the original poster of this thread actually believes in God, but doesn't believe that certain types of Christians are "true believers," so before you tell him to question his beliefs because of what his father says, maybe he should only question that part of the religion. His problem has nothing to do with believing in God. That didn't cause the problem. His father's belief that the girl isn't a true believer is the problem. The OP doesn't have to agree with that part of the religion and still follow the rest without questioning his beliefs at all.

if his dad is that much of a zealot (w00t someone other than a mac user is being called a zealot for the first time ever) then he's more than likely passed on a few other crazy ideas aswell, thus they need questioning if he's getting into an argument about weather a girl he saw a film with go's to his type of church or not.

heck if was in his position i'd encorage my son to go out with girls of all faiths and eventually convert them (MUHAHAHAHHAHAHA)....

but anyway, i'd encourage everyone to question their beliefs i do so every day, though generally in a physics class...

 

[jefhatfield]

I'm kind of ticked. I'm a Christian. As long as she's a true Christian (accepting of Jesus and believing the Bible has a whole), I don't have a problem going out with her. My Dad seems to think that people with slightly different religious beliefs are evil. As long as I'll see them in heaven, I don't see what's wrong with it.

a christian can be a catholic, a protestant, non-denominational, messianic, orthodox, and a few hundred others and any extreme adherence to any one denomination of christianity over another becomes more of a personal preference mind game which plays very well into one eventually ending up in some cult

i would have hated to have been restricted to having dated only methodists, especially since my town has only 1900 people in it split among a dozen churches or so

 

[Chundles]

Hey Chuckles, why don't you date a person of a totally different religion (or even someone without a religion) and get a different perspective on the world? You might learn a few things and it would really piss off daddy.

I'm with Abstract on this one - it just sounds so damned weird.

Booyah!!!

 

[Chuckles]

Once again, thanks for the replies. You guys make me feel good.

I agree with the Bible when it says that Christians shouldn't marry non-Christians. As it's been said, it's also the logical thing to do. Since I'm a Christian, I probably wouldn't even go on a date with someone I don't believe is a true Christian. Last night wasn't a date, but me and her may very well grow in our relationship. That's when I'll hit more tension with my Dad. I know I should sit down with him and have a talk, but those have turned out really bad in the past. He simply refuses to accept the fact that he's wrong to sometimes.

 

[miniConvert]

I agree with the Bible when it says that Christians shouldn't marry non-Christians. As it's been said, it's also the logical thing to do. Since I'm a Christian, I probably wouldn't even go on a date with someone I don't believe is a true Christian.

Wow. This is OTT and just a personal observation, but I had no idea the bible said that. I had no idea Christianity could be so oppressive.

Thank goodness there's nothing in there about buying Macs

 

[Thomas Veil]

So we're getting an even split between Europeans not understanding the church part, and USians saying, yeah whatever, makes sense.

No. I'm an American, and I don't get the church part.

But the sad thing is, there are a lot of bigoted holy rollers in the US these days, people who "know" that their religion is right and fear contamination from any others. (Hang around the political forum a bit, and you'll find a lot of folks who are convinced that this will be the undoing of the United States.)

I just hope that this isn't a sign of things to come between you and your dad. I'm not trying to be melodramatic. My wife left one of those holy roller churches, but she still knows a lot of families there, and stories around our dinner table are rife with kids having to rebel against their strict religious parents just to get the right to do normal kid things like go to dances and date kids outside their own faith. Most of the time the kids leave the church when they grow up, although I do know a few who are so cowed that -- I'm serious about this -- they are now in their mid-20s and their mom forbids them to watch MTV.

my long time employee and friend now says i am not his friend anymore because his church forbids it since i am not a member...it also says his particular sect/corner/territory of christianity, though only a couple of centuries old, is the only true version of the religion...nobody, but 144,000 of its exclusive, high standing members, will go to heaven

As an addendum to what I said above:

It's really sad to see people like this. It's like watching them enter some kind of dementia or something. The only real enjoyment I get out of watching the machinations of churches like these is that it seems that eventually these intolerant idiots start disagreeing even among themselves and end up splitting and forming other churches. Again, I'll use the example of my wife's former church. This is a relatively tiny, actually almost unknown, Southern Baptist-type sect. And yet in the time I've known about them, they've had a half-dozen splits, caused by ministers who simply don't agree with each other. So now this small, obscure church has spawned even smaller, more obscure churches who are all convinced that they are right and all the others are wrong. Sheesh.

 

[Mord]

my personaly pragmatic view on religeon:

i refuse to pray to any god so petty that it is requisite to believe in him in light of a complete lack of evidence of his existence, thus their are three options

1) god does not infact exist and some carpenter who thought he was the son of god 2000 years ago inspired a book about how you should be nice to each other and believe in god, which at the time was taken for granted, and i die full stop

2) god does not care if i believe in him and observes the fact that overall i'm a good person, thus go to heaven or whatever

3) god is a self obsessed ******* and only lets believers go to heaven to satisfy his own ego, in which case i say "**** god" and would happily go to hell a martyr.

not in a million years would 2/3 be true however i use them for the sake of argument and together they serve a great counter argument to any religious pressure either they say that god is actually a **** and i'd better get on my knees and pray, which of course they will not, or they say it's up to me weather i celebrate god's godliness, in which i say wouldn't god rather i spent my sunday doing something productive to help others, if he wants me to go to church he is downright selfish, heck the day of sabbath is meant to be a day of rest, one i frankly don't need, the whole thankful aspect of sunday to god is for that day of rest which in this modern world is irrelevant.


strangely for an atheist i take no argument against religion on the lines of "i dont like god because my mother died when i was 10", thats not the issue i take, the issue i do take is why god needs to essentially play sim city 6 billion with us to satisfy his own ego.

 

[dornoforpyros]

haha is this really the world we live in now? Where social interaction has to go through the parental filters each & every time? Heck by the time I was 16 my parents pretty much let me do my own thing, I had a job, I had decent grades and I never came home in a cop car.
I'm not gonna say I was a model child or anything but I think parents need to let their kids make small mistakes along the way rather than shielding them from everything.

 

[iBlue]

this reminds me of a joke..

A man arrives at the gates of heaven. St. Peter asks, "Religion?"

The man says, "Methodist."

St. Peter looks down his list, and says, "Go to room 24, but be very quiet when you pass room 8".


Another man arrives at the gates of heaven. "Religion?"

"Baptist."

"Go to room 18, but be very quiet as you pass room 8."


A third man arrives at the gates. "Religion?"

"Jewish"

"Go to room 11, but be very quiet as you pass room 8."

The man says, "I can understand there being different rooms for different religions,but why must I be quiet when I pass room 8?",

St. Peter tells him, "Well the Catholics are in room 8, and they think they are the only ones here".

_______ _______ ______



[insert relgions of choice into applicable slots.]

it's just ridiculous how closed-minded relgious zealots can be. lest this become completely too controversial i'll leave it at that.

 

[plinden]

It's already been mentioned that the Bible says that Christians shouldn't marry non-Christians, and this is a viewpoint I tend to agree with.

Hmm, I don't think you'll find the word "Christian" in the Bible.

 

[jefhatfield]

Hmm, I don't think you'll find the word "Christian" in the Bible.

that didn't happen until later in antioch

believers were called followers of THE WAY, witnesses of JEHOVAH, and JEWS (until more non jewish people joined the faith)

over time, different religions/sects/cults have laid claim to the original names so christianity is the name that stuck over the centuries to this day

i do have a christian friend who says he is a jew, and technically christianity is the descendant of judaism and it's very sad how christianity lost its jewish roots when it traveled through europe (much of the anti-semitic history of greece explains this when the faith moved through that country and it was probably necessary to downplay the "jewishness" of the religion to get people to take to it but take to it they did and it was very reworked by that time)...first century christians were decidedly more jewish and middle eastern in their outlook and it would have seemed inconceivable that two major conquerers of israel (greece and rome) would eventually adopt christianity

...i would have loved to have seen the reaction if i went around the european continent in those days and told people my religion was started by a jewish carpenter

as a kid i spent years in my mainline protestant church not knowing that christ was jewish and raised in the jewish faith and the many hollywood versions of a western european jesus on the silver screen did not help my perception...even mel gibson's take on the passion was based on italian renaissance paintings though he did have a well known israeli actress play the mother mary

 

[cycocelica]

haha is this really the world we live in now? Where social interaction has to go through the parental filters each & every time? Heck by the time I was 16 my parents pretty much let me do my own thing, I had a job, I had decent grades and I never came home in a cop car.
I'm not gonna say I was a model child or anything but I think parents need to let their kids make small mistakes along the way rather than shielding them from everything.

my thoughts exactly.

 

[CelticBhoy]

Brilliant reading all the half-baked ignorant replies regrding religion. The guy's dad has taken things too far, but it was no doubt the way that he was brought up. His son is more chilled about it, so his kids in due course aren't going to hit the same issue.

Love all the 'zealot' replies. Yeah, just like you don't get zealots and way out people on here.

There will always be people who come across as a bit ott in a religious context. The majority of us aren't like that. We live out our faith in a way we're comfortable with. Faith isn't easily understood by those who don't believe in God.

So, chuckles, give your dad the space to react in the only way he knows how, but use this opportunity to get him to challenge some of his thinking.

 

[Mord]

note of clarification:

when i bash religion, which i do at any opportunity i can find i'm bashing your religion and your religion only, you can believe in whatever crap you like, just as i can believe in challenging your crap.

people i dont like who are also religious always think i dislike them because they are religious, which is completely not true, i hate them because they are complete pillocks and they hide behind their religeon because they cant accept they are infact complete ****tards.

 

[CelticBhoy]

note of clarification:

when i bash religion, which i do at any opportunity i can find i'm bashing your religion and your religion only, you can believe in whatever crap you like, just as i can believe in challenging your crap.

people i dont like who are also religious always think i dislike them because they are religious, which is completely not true, i hate them because they are complete pillocks and they hide behind their religeon because they cant accept they are infact complete ****tards.

you really need to get out more

 

[Timepass]

Hmm, I don't think you'll find the word "Christian" in the Bible.

It never in the bible. From my understand that is the term that goes with the people who believed Jesus Christ died on the cross for our sins so we can become pure and holy and go to heaven. We can only get to heaven by divin power.
One of the largest fundimental beliefs differences bettween Jews and Christens is there veiw on Jesus. Christen believe he was gods son and our savior. Jews believe that Jesus (or basicly gods son) has not come yet. Many of them believe Jesus was real and he did come but at best that he was a prophic and not Gods son. but this is fundimentals and not something to argue over.

As for not marrying non christen (or basicly some not of your reliegn) it is a very true statement. Jews should only marry jews, Christen only Christen, Muslum only Muslims and so on. Not for disgrinations but because releign is a huge fondation belief in someone and if some one is raticily different in that belief it will lead to a lot of problems in the marriage and quite offen it will cause it ot end because the foundation beliefs of the person dont line up at all. History will prove time and time again reliegn belief will lead to wars and many fights because it is a foundation belief of a person.

That being said I can see the father side of things. I am on the side that if you are christen you should not date non christen because it will untimatly lead to some major fights due to the foundation beleif not lining up. Now as for friends it does not matter so much. I am a christen and I have several very close non christen friends. What you dad is worried about is you being lead off the christen path by some one who is not a christen. I am almost 23 and my mom still ask me question about my friends and there reiglion and so on. She knows about my non christen ones but also knows I can make my own judgements. When I was in high school she started asking more the closer we got. She knows that she can not change who my friends are and knows there is little pressure she can do the the ones closest to me with out fighting her back.

To some everything up. You dad loves you and is worried about your well being. Quite off we dont agree with our parents but later in life you start understanding them more. There is a lot of stuff that my parents force me to do that I did not agree with nor understand them at the time. It was many years later that I understood why they did it and now I thank them for doing it to me.

 

[CelticBhoy]

Hmm, I don't think you'll find the word "Christian" in the Bible.

the guy who said it didn't happen until Antioch was correct. Read Acts 11:26 "And the diciples were called Christians first at Antioch".

So there, it is in the Bible after all!

Of course, you won't find 'Protestant' or 'Catholic' in the Bible .................