"First, I'm going to give you few updates, and then we'll get to the meat of todays keynote.
... So, last year was our best year ever in retail, and we broke all previous records in our Mac-shipments. So what about new products? Well, I'm happy to report to you that today we are releasing a brand new set of iPod socks and sleeves. Socks are hand-knitted by bunch of old ladies in Florida, and the sleeves are made from the finest Corinthian Leather we could find. Prices are $79 for the socks, and $149 for the sleeves. And that wraps up the Keynote, I'll be seeing you at WWDC!"
The Mac blogasphere and MWSF would collapse in on itself and create a black hole destroying the Earth. In effect Jobs would doom mankind.