Up-skirting drop to new low levels. These jokes write themselves.
Kohler is expanding its line of bathroom products with Dekoda, an iPhone-connected device that's designed to be attached to a toilet rim (via The Verge). The device's included "sensors" point into the toilet bowl, allowing it to analyze what goes on in the bathroom.
According to Kohler, Dekoda is a health tracker that can monitor gut health and hydration, as well as detect the presence of blood in the toilet.
The website for the product is careful not to say that the product is essentially a camera that's peering into the toilet, instead referencing unspecified "powerful sensors" that analyze the contents of the toilet. According to the website, the sensors "see down into your toilet and nowhere else."
Kohler says that it uses advanced optical sensors and spectroscopy to observe how light interacts with waste, then it analyzes the data using machine learning algorithms to provide health insights. Data is protected with end-to-end encryption and fingerprint authentication. There is a separate Bluetooth fingerprint scanner that can be attached to a wall near the toilet to prevent the Dekoda from scanning the waste of guests, though it is optional.
Dekoda is the first product in a new Kohler Health line, and it requires a membership to use. Kohler Health is priced at $6.99 monthly for a single person, or $12.99 monthly for up to five family members. There are also yearly memberships priced at $70 and $130, respectively.
Kohler's Dekoda toilet sensor can be pre-ordered from the Kohler website for $600.
Article Link: Kohler Launches $600 iPhone-Connected Toilet Camera That Monitors Your Health Through Waste Analysis
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Kohler Launches $600 iPhone-Connected Toilet Camera That Monitors Your Health Through Waste Analysis
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Cupertino, CA — Apple today unveiled iWipe+, the next generation of precision cleaning. Designed with cutting-edge microfiber technology and powered by Apple’s revolutionary WipeOS 2, iWipe ensures your ass is wiped just the way Jony Ive intended: perfectly, reverently, and expensively.
For only $9.99/month, subscribers receive:
50 Bonus Wipes — Because smudges happen.
AppleCare+ for iWipe — Covers accidental over-wiping and emotional distress caused by streaks.
ClothSync™ — Sync your wiping data across all devices to track your “smudge-to-shine ratio.”
Charging Stand (sold separately) — A $79.99 anodized aluminum pedestal to keep your iWipe “inspired.”
Environmental Mode — iWipe automatically apologizes before cleaning third-party devices.
Apple engineers describe iWipe+ as “a reimagining of what it means to care for an ass — spiritually and financially.”
Coming soon in Space Gray and Slightly Whiter White.
For only $9.99/month, subscribers receive:
50 Bonus Wipes — Because smudges happen.
AppleCare+ for iWipe — Covers accidental over-wiping and emotional distress caused by streaks.
ClothSync™ — Sync your wiping data across all devices to track your “smudge-to-shine ratio.”
Charging Stand (sold separately) — A $79.99 anodized aluminum pedestal to keep your iWipe “inspired.”
Environmental Mode — iWipe automatically apologizes before cleaning third-party devices.
Apple engineers describe iWipe+ as “a reimagining of what it means to care for an ass — spiritually and financially.”
Coming soon in Space Gray and Slightly Whiter White.
Not sure how this is useful?
Will you be surprised after passing diarrhoea when the machine flags ...diarrhoea? Were you unaware what was happening?
And what are you realistically going to really do when it says your poop looks ugly?
Will you be surprised after passing diarrhoea when the machine flags ...diarrhoea? Were you unaware what was happening?
And what are you realistically going to really do when it says your poop looks ugly?
I can’t believe I’m seeing a camera on a toilet watching a guy sh$! aggressively 😂. Oh man, this made my day. Imagine someone sh!tting on a toilet while watching through Vision Pro from your camera in 4K.
I'll bet this is a hit in Germany.
If you've used toilets there you'll be familiar with their "inspection table" design of the inside of them.
If you've used toilets there you'll be familiar with their "inspection table" design of the inside of them.
Hopefully there's a way to export your data.
A data "dump" if you will.
A data "dump" if you will.