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Re: Geek humor and religion.

Originally posted by mischief
So if G5 Towers come out with a 333Mhz bus running DDR wouldn't that mean they're running at 666? They most certainly WOULD be beasts and many of us do most of our money-related actions with our machines.................

The G5s would probably not be clocked that low, but you know, the high-end TiBook right now is actually NOT 667MHz - it's 133MHz x 5 = 665MHz. And if you take the average of 667 and 665...

Also, I'd like to point out another interesting fact about TiBooks. If you take the 550MHz model...

550 x 220 (the maximum capacity of Hell's vat of boiling feces) = 121000

121000 - 2450 (the average daily number of sinners waiting to be processed in Hell's entry queue) = 118550

118550 / 430 (the number of red-hot nails used to puncture the genitalia of rapists and child molesters) = 275.6977

275.6977 x 2.415689358 (the approximate age of Hell, in aeons) = 666!!!!!!!!!

There can only be one conclusion:

STEVE JOBS IS SATAN!!

Alex
 
Thanks everyone--very enlightening and entertaining material in these posts.

The only comment I have is about right and wrong. Someone mentioned that when we die, we will discover if we were right or wrong about our particular faith. I hope that doesnt happen. How sad it would be for the millions of people who were denied eternity because they never heard of a particular religion, religious leader, or state of mind.

I guess I just trust in a creator who made me, to take care of me when I die.

Bottom line though? Doesnt matter your religion if you love people, forgive them, and try with every bone in your body to make your life, and those around yours better and more meaningful.
 
Barvow...thanks for that response. I think that was a really good observation of us mac heads thier toys and religion. Really good. Funny too.

Originally posted by Ifeelbloated
I guess I'm an existentialist. Plan to stay that way. Peace.


My friend practices exitentianalism through bong water!!! All the time.



:D
 
Originally posted by agreenster
Thanks everyone--very enlightening and entertaining material in these posts.

The only comment I have is about right and wrong. Someone mentioned that when we die, we will discover if we were right or wrong about our particular faith. I hope that doesnt happen. How sad it would be for the millions of people who were denied eternity because they never heard of a particular religion, religious leader, or state of mind.

I guess I just trust in a creator who made me, to take care of me when I die.

Bottom line though? Doesnt matter your religion if you love people, forgive them, and try with every bone in your body to make your life, and those around yours better and more meaningful.


Everyones judged upon what they know not what they dont know....I believe... so those people who for some reason dont hear the truth wont be denied eternity.... I can explain more but you have to e-mail me on that one.

Yeah your right it doesnt matter what religion you are and I would want us all to try and practice forgiveness and try to make our lives and those around us better and meaningful..I agree totally with that.

However I believe that our desicions reap certain consequences...bad or good...so we need to be carefull on what we decide.

I for one believe whole heartedly without a shadow of a doubt that Jesus is the only cure from the virus in our system. I can never not believe this because its as real to me as the fact that we can see the sun and the moon in our sky.

I mean there are absolutes and relatives and we it would be good for us to disnguise properly between them. Ahhh..... well.... thats my two cents worth right now.. I dont mean to say anyone is wrong or right Im just pointing out what I know.
 
I was raised both catholic and Jewish (can you tell which I have more respect for??). My parents decided to show both my sister and I both sides (we stopped going to church when I was 6 or so).

I do not subscribe to any particular religeon. For me, the holidays are just a reason to get together with family and spend time together.

I also cannot subscribe to that entire creation theory. Evolution, that's the ticket :D. We cannot be the only intelligent life in the universe... since that would make for a rather sad state of things.

Just keep a couple of things in mind. Any technology advanced enough appears to be magic. Any being evolved enough appears to be a god. Any computer that is actually easy to use has to be a Mac :D.
 
ahh thats cool alpha tech.


i believe creationism and microevolutionism go together in most cases but I wouldnt bet my tibook on it. i strongly believe in the fundamentals of creationism and do not suscribe to the idea that life as we know it came from nothing. i believe that any design has a designer ...so the design of what we know as this universe has a designer....not bad thought aye! i really think science and religion go hand in hand...and there are a lot of things that make sense that normally wouldnt if you look at it from this persepetive.

man i dig philosohpy, science and theology...i could talk forever to almost anyone that wants to hear about it. i have many discussions with my freinds about this stuff.... its truelly engaging for me.

if any of you dig this stuff like i do...no matter what believe you have... i really strongly encourage you to read "Mere Christianity" by C.S. Lewis.....

dont worry its not going to beat you over the head with the bible...actually it has no bible verses in it....it comes at you with intellectual philosophical real world persepctive thought and its deep ...really deep... but its broken down for almost anyone to understand. good stuff man...good stuff.
 
there are definate purposes for being here...

what are those...

I believe in God. I actually believe in Gods but that there is only one God to us. I believe that a mortal existence is a small piece of an entire existence aimed at teaching each of us the principles that govern the universe, rule the planets and perpetuate progression. Because eventually we can become what it is that we worship.

I believe in Jesus Christ and not only in him but in his divinity as a son of God and man and in the nessecity of aceppting that, and understanding what it means for each of us. I believe that the things he taught and the things he did in his life are the keys to the secrets of immortality.

I believe in immortality, not that our spirits continue forever but that all will live immortal physical lives, Christ reclaimed his body and never reseperated and promised each of tus the same ability, it is impossible to believe in Christ and not believe he is immortal the same way his father was and the same way we all will be.

I believe in the eventual accumulation of principles to the point where I will know how to be a God and will not only understand creation, but will be able to execute it.

This position is only one you can attain by living rightous principles and understanding what makes those principles rightous. Not everyone will make it to that level but if we dont its not because our God doesnt want us there.

I dont belive that we can live our lives not thinking or doing anything about this because there are certain principles that we are required to learn while in this stage and if we miss that the opportunity has passed.

I dont belive in Hell, but i do believe in suffering for things you have done if you dont allow Christ to take that suffering upon himself. And I do believe in stagnation or stunted progression toward the ultimate goal which is in its own way hell.

I believe in Gods authority and that he has granted that authority to men

I believe in rituals that are representative of eternity, its all part of the lesson we must learn.

(By the way Davidc2182 hitler never did anything in the name of God or religion, and he wasnt a fascist, I dont agree at all with things that he did but lets not spread non history.)
 
I'm agnostic...

I was born and raised in the religion headquartered in SLC. I was entirely and fanatically devoted to it for the first 26 years of my life. I participated and excelled in every aspect of the religion and culture; mission, education, marriage, etc. I completely saw the world through filtered eyes.

Through a series of important events, I became aware of how hollow the focus of my faith was. It's been 10 years since I decided that I needed some distance between myself and the faith of my childhood; I will not be going back.

If God exists, I've come to the conclusion that she doesn't want us to focus on her; rather, she prefers that we learn to govern ourselves with love and wisdom. I posit that she has sent us here to work things out on our own. But, when it comes down to it, I have no feeling for her existence one way or the other; I think God is superfluous and distracting.

I've taken up Philosophy as a means to understanding the development of western thought. I've come to the conclusion that most religious philosophy was created by those who were lazy at philosophy; absent the ability to convince others of the validity of their theories, they made an appeal to authority (God); religion pays better than philosophy, afterall. ;)

These questions remain as important as ever to me. I have a group of about 10 online friends with whom I debate/discuss these issues daily and in great depth. Most of them remain actively faithful in their religious viewpoints; I'm the lone heretic of the group.

BTW...I consider my participation on this forum another religious outlet! :D
 
Originally posted by 748s
RELIGION = INSTUTIONALISED IGNORANCE.

*sigh* almost 2 full pages of posts before the losers come out to play... I really had high hopes I would make it to the end without seeing any drivel like the above. 3 word post, and couldn't even spell them all right.

The notion that ORGANIZED religion is the opiate of the masses holds a certain amount of water, but that does NOT equate to the IDEA of religion, of faith, beliefs, and adherence to a code being a Bad Thing. I think the words of 748s above rebuff their speaker quite well enough of their own.

As to my own beliefs, I haven't found an organized religion that I can follow completely. I do, however, believe that the King James version of the New Testament is pretty much the truth. I would be tickled to find a Church that can just take the words and go with them, without supressing the parts they don't like, or latching onto a part they really like and over-emphasizing it. I also feel that the tenets of the teachings of Jesus are a wonderful guideline for how to live even if you deny their sanctity or His divinity.

I believe that there is right, and there is wrong, and that actions, and inactions have consequences both here and beyond.. but I do not believe in an ongoing Hell-type punishment after death for evil-doers. "Hell" is Gehenna, the destruction of the soul.. ceasing completely to exist. I don't think, however, that simply not believing in the "right" religion is cause for that sort of destruction.

Anyway.. that's a rough outline of what I believe.
 
religion is a system set up by man to try and reach the heavens. if you blame religion you are in essence blaming man for its faults...no one else.
 
Re: there are definate purposes for being here...

Originally posted by ponyboy
...it is impossible to believe in Christ and not believe he is immortal the same way his father was and the same way we all will be.

Hmmm. I think this is an assumption. I have heard people before say, "you cannot believe that jesus existed if you dont believe he was God."

How untrue. You can certainly believe that Jesus was just a man, who believed strongly that the Jewish faith had become currupted by laws, rules, and leaders, when the true nature of religion should be to love and respect, not sacrifice at altars. His followers, on the other hand, (ie: Paul) made him into a diety. He didnt even know Jesus for crying out loud. I also think much of the spiritual aspects of the New testament were made up, or exhagerated. But thats another discussion.

I believe that if jesus were around today, he would be quite upset at what he caused...more organized religion. Jesus was more like the first western thinker. Less rules, more respect.
 
The bible is the oldest piece of fiction still in print today. It has been written and re-written so many times it's not even funny.

I put 0 credit in it.
 
I

I was raised...Christian or Catholic. I dont know which one. Christian I believe. I am starting to realize that I do believe in some all mighty thing, but it does not control my life. If I break my Mac :)) ) It is not going to "send me to hell". I do not confess, for I have not done anything to confess about. I think something created us, and now it is just watching us and laughing at our stupidity :D ;)
 
Re: Re: Geek humor and religion.

Originally posted by alex_ant


The G5s would probably not be clocked that low, but you know, the high-end TiBook right now is actually NOT 667MHz - it's 133MHz x 5 = 665MHz. And if you take the average of 667 and 665...

Also, I'd like to point out another interesting fact about TiBooks. If you take the 550MHz model...

550 x 220 (the maximum capacity of Hell's vat of boiling feces) = 121000

121000 - 2450 (the average daily number of sinners waiting to be processed in Hell's entry queue) = 118550

118550 / 430 (the number of red-hot nails used to puncture the genitalia of rapists and child molesters) = 275.6977

275.6977 x 2.415689358 (the approximate age of Hell, in aeons) = 666!!!!!!!!!

There can only be one conclusion:

STEVE JOBS IS SATAN!!

Alex

You forgot something. If I **** my pants facing north at 6:00 AM (when I wake up) and jump in the pool and wash myself 5 times (the number of times the Virgin Mary was laid) and then I piss on my dog twice (the number of times that he has praised the lord) and then **** eat my ****, I will be satan also. This thread was good, until that.
 
Originally posted by AlphaTech
The bible is the oldest piece of fiction still in print today. It has been written and re-written so many times it's not even funny.

I put 0 credit in it.


are we talking about translations here...if so...there is nothing wrong with that. people must be able to read something in thier own language im sure you can agree to that. the bible is one of the oldest books that has had many predictions come true. its history is the most accurate...even if you dont agree with it. however the idea of it being fiction is not valid because there is more proff for the opposite.....even people who dont agree with the bible can attest to that. this mytology argument that people use against is something that will change when they actually study it.

i used to believe that too untill i started studying it.

:D
 
I was referring to how many times it was writen over because someone didn't agree with what was in it. Never mind the FACT that the new testament wasn't actually writen until about 300 years AFTER the fact.

Any story that isn't writen down for over 300 years gets altered. People add or remove items, it gets changed, that is just the nature of the human animal.

I really don't feel like getting into a bible bashing session tonight, it's a bit late for that.

Religeon is a crutch that I don't need.
 
:) man has this been entertaining. I enjoy how the majority here are agnostic/atheist and yet as usual the christians come out in force and try to shove their beliefs down everyone's throat.

things havent changed much since the crusades have they friends?

748 was just lashing back at some of the ignorant and insulting posts made before him, sure he but it bluntly (and therefore insultingly) but he was just responding to something that had already started.

interesting how the christians dont even realize how insulting they are being.

i was raised in the absense of religion. i can remember being in the car with my mother one day and having her ask me what i believed. i was terrified to tell her i didnt believe in god. i tip toed around the question as easily as an 8 year old could.

i didnt know until i was in college that my mother was agnostic and my father was an atheist. i can only imagine how scared my father must have been when i started going to church every sunday for awhile (cisiting various churches with my friends or by myself). ive never bought any of it and ive never met an intelligient person who does.

i get told all the time that im "a good christian" just because im such a good person. if these people only knew. ive always tried to hide my beliefs (or lack there of), because in the United States there is no freedom of religion (hell there are 9 states in which it is illegal to hold a public office if you are an atheist).

ive been to quite a few funerals in my short time on this planet and they always make me sick. all these weak minded people using religion as a crutch to get through tough times. it trivializes life. it makes me sick to hear them speak of seeing this person again in the 'afterlife.' i stand there and understand the true loss. a human life, someone i loved, gone forever.

krossfyter, peace man. i dont want to attack you on this touchy topic, but i really want to encourage you to research the history of the Bible. If you do so and learn with an open mind i think you will be quite shocked if you currently feel there is anything factual about the bible. Scholars have long accepted the bible as something other than fact. if you want to treasure the bible, treasure it for the lessons it teaches (please ignore all the bigotry). there are some good stories there.

i know i probably rubbed some people the wrong way with this post, but keep in mind i was trying to be as fair as possible.

I have had to hide my religion (or lack there of) my entire life, and dont expect this to change in my life time, so i hope you can understand why some of us have an aversion to the patronizing/arrogant/ignorant posts of some of the christians here. i do not mean this to sound insulting but when you speak down to others, when you tell them that this is what you "know," and when you make statements about your own religion that are not true, i do not know of another way of saying it but to say that your post (not you) is patronizing/arrogant/ignorant.

i have some trusted friends who i can tell what i believe (and living in berkeley of course makes me feel much more free) and i have found that when i point out when they are being insulting that they act surprised but upon reflection realize what they have done. i hope the christians here can do the same.

i have had far too many experiences in my life regarding situations similiar to evildead's experiences to tell about them here, but i hope all of you who are christian can realize that to the rest of the world you represent a very oppressive regime and that your pride and ignorance reflected in your posts is as insulting to those of us who do not believe as the ignorant and prideful rantings of a Nazi are insulting to a Jew.

so keep in mind all of the people currently being killed in the name of your religion you are so proud of, and appreciate that many of us have had loved ones killed by people in the name of your religion, and that many of us must live in fear our entire lives because we do not believe what you believe.
 
Nice post, and very well put AmbitiousLemon.

When my father passed away, one person, who we once considered to be a friend, asked if he had 'accepted jesus' or some crap like that. We told him flat out no, and he returned that he was going to hell... We have not spoken to him since, and if I ever see him I will give him more then just a piece of my mind. Thinking about what he said still urks me... After all that my father did for him, and how we never judged him with all the dumb **** he did, he comes back with that.

I watched a show one time that was essentially the stand up comedy of the man who plays the Black Adder (forget his real name at the moment). One part of it was set in hell... the line that I will never forget 'christians, step this way, it turns out the Jews were right' he then hands off to his leutenant, Adolf.

I never really care what another person's religeos beliefs are, as long as they don't force them upon me. Or say that I am 'going to hell' because I don't subscribe to their beliefs. I believe in my own abilities, which is something that I can trust. I don't trust a 2000 year old piece of fiction (I still believe that is is fiction).

More brutality and crimes against humanity have been committed in the name of religeon then anything else. Remember the crusades people... as well as things going on in the world today because people have different beliefs.
 
Originally posted by AlphaTech
Nice post, and very well put AmbitiousLemon.

When my father passed away, one person, who we once considered to be a friend, asked if he had 'accepted jesus' or some crap like that. We told him flat out no, and he returned that he was going to hell... We have not spoken to him since, and if I ever see him I will give him more then just a piece of my mind. Thinking about what he said still urks me... After all that my father did for him, and how we never judged him with all the dumb **** he did, he comes back with that.

I watched a show one time that was essentially the stand up comedy of the man who plays the Black Adder (forget his real name at the moment). One part of it was set in hell... the line that I will never forget 'christians, step this way, it turns out the Jews were right' he then hands off to his leutenant, Adolf.

I never really care what another person's religeos beliefs are, as long as they don't force them upon me. Or say that I am 'going to hell' because I don't subscribe to their beliefs. I believe in my own abilities, which is something that I can trust. I don't trust a 2000 year old piece of fiction (I still believe that is is fiction).

More brutality and crimes against humanity have been committed in the name of religeon then anything else. Remember the crusades people... as well as things going on in the world today because people have different beliefs.

Well Put. If I EVER saw that guy, he would wish he was in hell...
 
I'm Impressed!

Wow, of all the post topics that I thought would go down in flames, ignored or otherwise trashed in a hearbeat soon after its creation, this one has flown, has been insightful, and basically very level headed and interesting as all get-out.

It's tempting to go on for PARAGRAPHS about where I'm at, what I believe, etc. But I think I can sum it up pretty quickly, as I don't really want to get into it TOO much, but can't help but to contribute to what has become a most intriguing post.

I was brought up with no particular religion. Parents watched football, sent me to a little church on Sunday's. (I was baptised, however, in my mom's home town in England when I was 5...East Durham, in Norwich, for our English friends) They never tried to shove anything down my throat, so I was pretty much left to discover things my own way. Tried this and that, read a lot (including C.S. Lewis...AWESOME author!!) and about 15 years ago (I'm 43) figured that Jesus had it pretty much together and invited Him in.

Since then, I've come to think a lot of his teachings may have been misconstrued, and although I believe He was one of the greatest teachers of elightenment in our history, the "religion" that grew up around his work isn't altogether, well...all together. Basically, I believe it's a stilling of the mind and pointed meditation that brings one close to The Source, God, what-have-you, and that practice is the one thing that shows what Love really is. It comes down to a one-on-one relationship.

So, in conclusion:

1. I offer my post just as my 2 cents. I won't debate it nor discuss it further here, 'cause I respect all of ya and, after all, I'm not really here for THIS kind of discussion, interesting as it is!

2. I'm impressed with those who "came out" as Christian or subscibing somewhat to that arena. It opens one up to possible "slamming" so, in a way, it's pretty brave.

3. Personal beliefs tend to bend and change slightly over time. That's why it's easy for me to respect all of the places where y'all are at, and anyone else, for that matter. Check back with yourselves in 10 years or so. I bet the results will be interesting.;)
 
AlphaTech

:( that story about your dad.....and your ex-friend...that's absolutely terrible!!

I believe that religion is a choice...and I absolutely look down upon the ones who try and shove it in your face....

I'd have literally beaten the sh*t out of him if it would have been me whom he said it to... :mad:
 
voicegy, I can guarantee that in 10 years, or for that matter in 50 years I will believe the same as today.

Religion is a crutch that I do not need. I have a strong enough sense of self to not need to believe in something all-powerful.

I hear people thanking god for this that or the other thing, but when do you hear them blaming him??? You can't have it both ways you know. If something good happens with what I do, then it is becasue of what I did, not something else. The same goes when I screw up, if I f*ck up, then it is MY fault.
 
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