How about this one:
BIG DREAMS, SMALL SURFACE.
FOR 10 YEARS OLD WHO WANT TO ENJOY THE WINDOWS EXPERINCE.
I miss the times when I was using windows and had my weekly pop ups about problem with registry and DLL library missing

Ah, Good old days.
I also love the fact that at work we have windows 7 and when I turn the computer, it starts to update without asking me and cannot do “before job” preparation. Sometimes it updates when I am trying to leave. And we do not have admin privileges so I cannot change anything. Lovely experience I recommend to every 10 years old.
In am sure there are many happy windows users, i definitely am not one of them.