My dad died Wed eve from a sudden heart attack while shoveling snow for my mom. We had a freak blizzard in Colorado on Wednesday. I can't help but think that if it hadn't snowed, then he would still be here.
It haunts me seeing where he died on the driveway every time I go visit my parents. It haunts me seeing how he looked when they were trying to save him. It haunts me how his arm was cold as i held it when he was gone. It haunts me when I saw the hospital decide to give up.
It seems like it's all a dream. I can't help but hope he will walk through the door once more. What kills me is that there was no warning and that the snow he was shoveling has all but melted now.
It is hard going to my parents and seeing his seat with his coffee and food as it were when he got up to shovel and never came back.
It is hard being strong for my mom when I am feeling emotional myself.
This is the first death I have experienced since I was 10 and the first that was really close to me. I am almost 31 and I don't know what to make of life anymore. What I used to value as important no longer has meaning. What I used to worry about doesn't seem worthwhile. I don't know when I will be ready to go back to work or what may be.
Life is hard.
I love you dad
It haunts me seeing where he died on the driveway every time I go visit my parents. It haunts me seeing how he looked when they were trying to save him. It haunts me how his arm was cold as i held it when he was gone. It haunts me when I saw the hospital decide to give up.
It seems like it's all a dream. I can't help but hope he will walk through the door once more. What kills me is that there was no warning and that the snow he was shoveling has all but melted now.
It is hard going to my parents and seeing his seat with his coffee and food as it were when he got up to shovel and never came back.
It is hard being strong for my mom when I am feeling emotional myself.
This is the first death I have experienced since I was 10 and the first that was really close to me. I am almost 31 and I don't know what to make of life anymore. What I used to value as important no longer has meaning. What I used to worry about doesn't seem worthwhile. I don't know when I will be ready to go back to work or what may be.
Life is hard.
I love you dad