Thought I would address some of your points one by one here.
It's slow. OMG it's SLOW! It's not silky smooth, reboots take so long and updates took hours. Even installing a basic app is painful.
Sure these could be faster. But you received your watch right in the middle of the watchOS2 release. I've had my watch since June and I can count the number of times I've rebooted it on one hand. And those were mainly because I was playing around with installing the GM and then the subsequent update. If I hadn't been doing that then I would have needed to reboot exactly two times. Having to install an update and reboot twice in three months is not a big deal, and is easily something that can be done right before going to bed if it really bothers you that much.
The only useful app I found was my banking app, but it took so long to open and retrieve my balance, it was quicker to grab my phone and open the app on my iPhone.
Again, you're dealing with a new device going through an API transition. This situation will improve over time. The native apps I've installed are much faster.
The simple act of looking at the watch for the time requires a tap or movement. There's no simple glance at my wrist for the date and time which I do often with my traditional watches.
Every time I need to check the time I have to move my wrist anyway. There have been very few times that I've actually needed to see the time that I needed to touch the watch.
The apps are incredibly fiddly to use. The digital crown is not easy to use (perhaps I'm cack-handed), but in my office (full of developers), I'm not alone in these thoughts.
I quite like the digital crown. Regardless, in most situations you don't have to use it. Just use your finger on the screen if it bothers you that much.
I found the strap very grim. It didn't allow my skin to breathe so it became sweaty which I hate. A leather strap or steel strap would be miles better but unless I was going to keep it, I don't plan to invest €100's in a strap.
You clearly have never worn plastic/rubber straps on other watches. This is the best one I've ever seen. Very comfortable for a rubber strap. It seems silly to dismiss the Apple Watch for this when there are other options available.
Following on nicely from this is fitness. This I thought was going to be the winning formula for an Apple Watch, but no. Both Runkeeper and Strava (which I pay for), require me to have my iPhone with me along with the watch. What's the point?! I don't like running with a watch but I figured if I could wear it without carrying my phone, great. I might as well just wear my HR chest strap. It's just as accurate and pairs with my phone beautifully. The iPhone also gives me GPS, steps and everything the AW gives me.
Again, you're dealing with a transition period right now. Strava has already announced that they are going to release a watch app. So many of the complaints about the fitness aspects of the watch comes from runners. Not everyone runs outdoors for their fitness. I have back issues which prevent me from running, even on a treadmill. The Apple Watch works great with ellipticals.
Additionally, music. Spotify don't have an app for it and I see why. Even if I could use the watch as a standalone item, I still need a pair of bluetooth headphones. Utterly horrific to run with as they weight a lot and are usually quite bulky. Fine for sitting down but again, I've spent a small fortune (over $500 on a pair of Shure earbuds), so why would I want to buy a pair of bluetooth headphones is another reason to avoid the Apple watch.
I don't get what you expect when it comes to headphones. I don't know what you're thinking of when you think of bluetooth headphones, but I don't know how you can get any more unobtrusive than these:
Jarbird X2 Sport
These run around $150, but you can find the older generation on Amazon for $100
here. There are lots of similar designs from other brands as well that you should look into. Otherwise I don't know what your expectations are. Are you wanting a headphone jack on the watch? Now THAT would be cumbersome. Regardless, if you want to use Spotify you'll have to have your phone with you anyway. See the end for more thoughts on this, but the Apple Watch is not meant to replace your phone.
Notifications are the next point. I appreciate the tips given to me, but if I remove the notifications, what's the point it? I can't really read message on the Watch and I certainly can't reply. I might as well just pick up my phone.
You're misunderstanding my point, and I don't know how I could have been more clear. I didn't say to disable notifications entirely, just the ones that can wait until later. Do you really need EVERY email notifying you on your watch? What about every sport score or Facebook mention? Like I said, the watch is a great triage device.
Taking calls next. I felt like a complete berk talking into the phone like Dick Tracey. It worked reasonably well in the car but it was definitely hard to listen in. Plus, I have a fully integrated bluetooth system with my car so I don't see the point. Why listen through a tinny speaker when I have a 5.1 surround system built into my car? I don't get it. I suppose it works if you don't have this, but isn't that illegal?
Taking calls has its moments, but I agree that it's not the main point of the watch. It is nice if my phone is on the other side of the house to not have to run to grab it before it goes to voicemail.
Next there's the battery. I found myself having to charge the watch at work all the time. Twice a day was the norm which got annoying. Constantly having to carry the charger around and if it's not on my wrist, again, what's the point? It becomes like my phone on the table, albeit with a longer battery life and much more powerful.
This is the big one. While the 38mm doesn't have as much battery life as the 42mm, it should be better than that. If you're not even making it to the end of the work day without having to recharge then there is something wrong with your watch and you need to exchange it for a new one.
Perhaps it'll evolve but I don't see us ever doing away with our phones.
This statement alone speaks volumes. I think your expectations are too high. You're expecting the watch to be a phone replacement, which is not it's intended purpose. Until you stop looking at it from that perspective you won't ever really understand it. It's meant to compliment your phone and work WITH it.