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Did that first, he bypassed it.

how? Does he have a standard account or an admin account? Set his account to standard, reset the admin password when he's not around and set a firmware password so he can't boot off the install disk. Lock down the account with parental controls. Problem solved.
 
easy solution as someone else said:

take the xbox out of this room. problem solved.

if he goes on the net when the xbox is in the family room, then limit his play time to only when you're around.

i'm a prick. i won't put a computer in my kids room for this exact reason. some might say that's mean, archaic or asking for trouble, but then I reply:

does it matter considering he doesn't know the difference??? :)
 
I just found out my son has the Parallesis program, I have no idea what that is,
Anyone know?

Is that how he's getting the internet? Or is it through his xbox?

He isn't supposed to have internet in his room. And he knows it.

I password protected his computer and limited his capabilities, I removed the airport card and even cut off his install abilities.

I think he bypasses it with scandisk applications on someone elses machine, I dunno. Maybe he tricked me when he asked for my password or I was just not paying attention one day. (If only he'd put this energy into his school work! He'd be Valedictorian!)

So how do I keep internet outta his room!

He has the wireless router in his room because thats where the cable person installed it so I cannot just turn it off.

I don't want to fight about it anymore so I guess we'll just end internet at our house but that punishes everyone.

Parallels is simply a virtual machine program that lets him run Windows/Linux/etc. This would not get him to the internet.

However, you did mention the wireless router is in his room. Most wireless routers still have 3-5 ethernet ports on the back. An ethernet cable running from the computer to the router is enough to have access.
 
Hey would Apple Remote Desktop work so that you could monitor and log his internet.

Then when you caught him on you could storm his room Gestapo stile and go totally ape ****!

Gotta give the kid credit he "is" resourceful. Perhaps you should milk this and make it progressively harder and hard and see how far he'll go.
 
Web filtering is an option, but again, many of those can be circumvented through a number of methods.

It really sounds like he is going to hack around whatever you do, so maybe the best option is just talking to him and working out a compromise.

I always found that the best high school teachers were the ones who sat down and talked to students eye to eye. Like they were no different...on the same level. The kids felt like the teachers weren't out to get them, so they didn't act up as much and in the end, I think they learned more from them. At least I did anyway.

I understand that with parenting you need to exert a certain amount of control, but he's 17 and he's obviously an intelligent, resourceful kid. Hopefully he'll be fending for himself in a few years, so perhaps starting to treat him more like an adult would elicit a different response from him.

Then again...what you're doing now is basically training him to become an IT professional, so at least he's learning something out of it!
 
There are no ethernet cables going to his computer. Only from the router to the cable box thingy.
I wish I could figure out how hes doing it.
Anyway I took Parallels off the network option and he has to have a password to change it, so we'll see.

I like the apple remote idea, I wonder how I set that up?

Thanks for all the support.....this gets sooooooo old!
 
The wireless portion of the router can be configured to only allow computers with specific MAC (Media Access Control) addresses from working with the router.

Setting up to only allow certain machines with give MAC address and password protection will help more, since he is likely to spoof you MAC address without the password.

But moving the machine out of the room into the living room will help the most, somewhere you can see what they are doing.

However, some Routers have parental controls along with beefed up actual stateful packet inspection firewalls.

The parental controls and firewalls may help since you can also add keywords to block content (where a word as simple as Bush, can mean a page won't load at all).
 
he might have one of those usb wireless receivers to get internet

or he might somehow be getting internet from the wireless adapter on the xbox

my advice.......no computer in his room. and if he wants internet, have him pay for service

17 is kinda old. college is not too far away and he will have all the internet he wants whether you like it or not

maybe you should just allow him to have internet
 
17 missed that, is he good with his hands and doing chores around the house?

If so, let him repaint his room completely including ceiling and all trim, and tint the window for privacy, and upgrade the window screen to metal mesh for security. :p

Just don't tell him that you dumped the anti-EFI/EMI packet into the paint, and that you are using metal film for the tint.

The signal blocking stuff may work just good enough to given him really crappy wireless -- and may make using a friends wireless hub in the neighborhood out of the question.

Do a good enough job and wireless may only work reliably with the door open.
 
Do you or someone recommend a router?
We have a 13 year old girl too (who incidently I trust completely on the internet) but then she's not 15 yet either.

I did have Spector (stealth observation program) installed and found that still didn't curtail the bad activity since most of the filtering systems weren't foolproof. He somehow figured out how to make that no longer work too. I contacted the company and they sent me a back door but it doesn't work now either.

If it were someone else's child, i'd be impressed!




The wireless portion of the router can be configured to only allow computers with specific MAC (Media Access Control) addresses from working with the router.

Setting up to only allow certain machines with give MAC address and password protection will help more, since he is likely to spoof you MAC address without the password.

But moving the machine out of the room into the living room will help the most, somewhere you can see what they are doing.

However, some Routers have parental controls along with beefed up actual stateful packet inspection firewalls.

The parental controls and firewalls may help since you can also add keywords to block content (where a word as simple as Bush, can mean a page won't load at all).
 
I'd say just look for a firewall router with SPI and Web Access Control (usually a subscription service with a 3rd party) running on the router.

No wireless, modem, switches, 100 ports, etc. needed ...

Just the simplest box running between the modem and your network.

modem --- firewall --- wireless router

---

Though downloading the manuals, and checking out the access control service provider helps.

Edit: and most of the boxes say firewall, but are really just NAT -- which is just a step up above a dumb switch. SPI is the real firewall, and a lot of those come with some more bells that make managing internet use easier.
 
It sounds to me like you are tippy toeing around trying not to annoy him.

How about this. No Xbox.
spend a few bucks if you dont know how to do it yourself and have the router moved to a different location.

Put a password on every account on the mac, that he does not know, except for Guest.

use the parental controls in OSX to limit guest to only a couple of hrs a night (for homework) and thats it.

Also limit guest to only the following apps. Browser, Word processor. Enable logging so you can see where he goes.

And if he gives you any crap. Just pull the Mac out of his room too. Put it in a public place, so he can do his homework under your supervision.

My kid will not have a pc in her room. She also will not have a game console or any kind of electronics other than music.

When I was a kid, if my parents said NO, it was NO. If I disobeyed them, there were consequences. Your kid has no consequences when he defies you. Its a game. What did you do to punish him when you caught him with internet access? Did you just come on this board and try to figure another way to take it away from him? Or did you punish him? No going out this weekend, no Mac or xbox at all for a month, no cell phone for a month, no talking on the phone after dinner for a month?

Seriously, it sounds like you need to grow a pair.

Don
 
He's 17, you're out of luck. There isn't a parent, even with an entire forum of nerds helping them out, in this world that can out-maneuver a teenager when presented with the challenge of getting on the net in a sneaky way.

It's a losing battle. Take the stuff out of his room, the bedroom should be for sleep and shagging and that's it.
 
very bad advice

Sounds like he's holding you hostage with this fragility.

Frankly, I'd leave his internetz alone. If he can't follow rules at this point "grounding" him from the internet will just fixate him on the loss of the internet , not the behavior that led to it.
Man that is really really bad advice. If a child is purposely misbehaving, and challenging your authority and you give in, you've basically lost any hope of discipline forever.

Might as well let the kid grow up in an alley if you're going to do that.

To the OP:

If the boy is getting Internet and you have removed the wireless cards from the computer, there are only three possibilities. He has put the card (or another card) back in, he is using a wire to go to the router, or for some insane reason his X-Box is still wired to the internet and he is connecting his computer to that.

The smartest thing to do would be to remove the gear from his room so he can't screw with it. I know you said the phone company put it there, but that doesn't mean it has to stay.

There should be a phone line or a cable-vision cable leading from the wall to the modem and an ethernet wire leading from the modem to the wireless router. Any one of those wires can be dozens of feet long and still work, meaning you can move that equipment anywhere in the house if you want. Additionally, if the Internet is originally coming in on the phone or the cable, then the equipment can also be disconnected and moved to any other room in the house that has a phone jack or a cable-vision cable outlet.

Move the Internet into another room and take away his wireless card, problem solved.
 
well I appreciate all the help everyone, honestly, thank you.








Man that is really really bad advice. If a child is purposely misbehaving, and challenging your authority and you give in, you've basically lost any hope of discipline forever.

Might as well let the kid grow up in an alley if you're going to do that.

To the OP:

If the boy is getting Internet and you have removed the wireless cards from the computer, there are only three possibilities. He has put the card (or another card) back in, he is using a wire to go to the router, or for some insane reason his X-Box is still wired to the internet and he is connecting his computer to that.

The smartest thing to do would be to remove the gear from his room so he can't screw with it. I know you said the phone company put it there, but that doesn't mean it has to stay.

There should be a phone line or a cable-vision cable leading from the wall to the modem and an ethernet wire leading from the modem to the wireless router. Any one of those wires can be dozens of feet long and still work, meaning you can move that equipment anywhere in the house if you want. Additionally, if the Internet is originally coming in on the phone or the cable, then the equipment can also be disconnected and moved to any other room in the house that has a phone jack or a cable-vision cable outlet.

Move the Internet into another room and take away his wireless card, problem solved.
 
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Have you considered family counseling? It sounds like you're all under a lot of pressure right now, with him dealing with ADHD and a new school, suicidal ideation, etc. I agree with an above comment that a 16 year old kid knows how to use that to their advantage, and you're his hostage, because naturally you don't to set him off, when you know it may lead to his attempting.

He clearly understands computers and internet access better than you do (typical these days), so fighting him on this is bordering on futile without taking more extreme measures. He's nearing the age of accountability, and if his forbidden access issues are of an illegal nature, you have a responsibility to take whatever measures necessary to prevent it going on in your household, even if the means seem extreme or excessive (such as removing his computer from his room, and making him use the school issued laptop in a common area of the house, where he can be supervised).

If your concerns with his internet activities are not of a legal nature, but more along moral lines, perhaps it's time to choose your battles, and consider agreeing to time limits and privacy guidelines. Depending on the extent of his ADHD, he may very likely be leaving the home environment in a few years, and your ability to monitor his activities will be completely gone. Overly restricting him while he's beginning to stretch his wings may be the driving force behind him exiting the home as soon as he's able?

If counseling isn't an option or a consideration, then opening communications and talking to him, and letting know how you feel, and why can't hurt. Explaining that you realize he's nearly a man, and is testing his boundaries may be something he will actually hear, and understand? It's perfectly normal for a 16 year old boy to want to explore and break family rules he feels are oppressive.

Since you haven't said what the issue is surrounding his internet usage, I'm only guessing here, and apologize if I've totally gone off on irrelevant tangets. I don't know the extent of his issues, although ADHD and suicidal ideation can be pretty serious, and I'm sure they are sources of a lot of stress in the household. I wish you and your family the best, and I know you're only interested in being the best possible parent here, and it's not an easy job by any stretch. Just something to consider, but I'm sure you know what's best. Take care and good luck to you. :)

EDIT: I see you've taken that option, and I commend you. :)
 
havent read entire thread yet, but you can do wat my dad does to limiti time and internet usage. It ticks me off!

Content Barrier X4.

It blocks all internet connections after a certain period of time. I hate it he loves it.
 
havent read entire thread yet, but you can do wat my dad does to limiti time and internet usage. It ticks me off!

Content Barrier X4.

It blocks all internet connections after a certain period of time. I hate it he loves it.

I could help you, but I won't. If you want to get around it then all I'm going to tell you is that helpful info is out there. Heck, I wrote a set of instructions to around Safe Eyes.

But yeah, no help from me.
 
ahh , you know what ... remember when you where 17 ??

sit down with the boy and have a chat ... man to man ...I mean

I remember when I was 17 and I didn't take kindly to being treated like a child ! .

show him some respect ( I know he's done wrong here btw!!! ) but if you sit him down and take the

... t i m e ....

to get to know the fella and maybe then you would come to have mutual respect.


oh and good luck ..
 
I did have Spector (stealth observation program) installed and found that still didn't curtail the bad activity since most of the filtering systems weren't foolproof. He somehow figured out how to make that no longer work too. I contacted the company and they sent me a back door but it doesn't work now either.

If it were someone else's child, i'd be impressed!

I'm not be a parent, and I'm not that far out of college myself actually. But as someone who regrettably has to play nanny for 18-21 year olds who haven't had the chance to grow up, I implore you: please, please, please reconsider your strategy.

As part of my job, I deal with kids like this all the time, unfortunately. It's not officially part of my job. I was hired to do more constructive work, really. But being in a university setting, dealing with Billy Freshman and his destructive online behavior is an inevitable part of the task.

What kinds of destructive behavior? Oh... aside from the typical script kiddie and hacking stuff, there's things like online harassment complaints. Online drama that gets a little too dramatic. Excessive bandwidth usage causing a performance hit in a portion of a subnet because someone is downloading copious amounts of porn.

Oh and then there's the not-as-rare-as-I'd-prefer complaint from a public computer lab user, who unfortunately was seated next to Billy Freshman as he's visiting adult sites. In the public lab. And is being none too discreet about it, too.

A lot of times, the more serious incidents come with big consequences. Those who do this stuff often end up on academic probation either because they seriously violated the university's Accetable Use Policies, or because they spent so much time looking at all the bad stuff on the net that their grades suffered horribly. And sometimes, for both reasons.

And it seems like the vast majority of these situations, it seems to stem from the fact that internet access was simply restricted via software at home. No specific guidance from the parents. No attempts at education or intervention. They were simply told by their parents that the Internet was this very very bad and dangerous thing, and they weren't allowed access to it.

So what do these kids do when they go to college? Well, they gain 20-50 pounds (the "freshman 20") because after having to eat whatever their parents gave them for 18 years, they can now eat whatever they want, whenever they want. And more importantly: they see that high speed ethernet jack or wireless access point in their dorm (or worse, that public computer lab), and they binge, on all of the stuff that they were told was taboo and that they weren't allowed to see at home. Because after being strictly denied, now they can go anywhere on the internet they want, and stay there as long as they want, and do whatever they want to do and act however they want to act.

I can certainly understand and even advocate heavy restrictions on Internet access up to about age 16 or so. But once the kids start getting close to the time where they're looking at colleges, the continued restrictions - from what I've seen anyway - have a very negative effect in the long run. It only teaches them two things:

1. They HAVE to visit those naughty sites as SOON as they have the ability to do so!, and

2. They learn how to be holy hacker terrors on networks like mine. Those filter-circumvention skills translate into very adept network security-breaching skills later. And then people like me are left to deal with it.

And at the same time, these kids are NOT taught how to be good net-citizens, and lack any level of maturity. And that's really a shame.

I really think these same people would act a bit more appropriately if they had gotten a bit more supervised education (once they reached the age to understand it) about what's online, what to avoid, what they shouldn't be seeing and why.

I realize your kid has ADHD. However, I submit that unless he gets that attention, education and supervision from you, then you're only delaying what you're trying to avoid altogether. I know you're trying to protect him, but the way he sees it, all you're doing is trying to block him from seeing what he wants to see. You and I BOTH know that this only will succeed in making him fixate HARDER on those things, and on ways to get at what he wants. Instead of his grades suffering in high school, he could gorge on the net once he leaves for college, and then his grades will just crash there instead.

And recovering from bad grades in college is a lot harder than doing so in high school.

At this point, I would forget about the monitoring and filtering software and removing the airport card and all that, and instead take the computer OUT of his room and into a family area. If he wants to go online, he should do it where the family can interact with him. This will take his focus OFF trying to get around the things you've done to restrict his net access, and will instead drive the point home that if he wants to be on the 'net, he's gotta do it in ways that are family-friendly, and non-destructive.

Don't turn this into a punishment either. He wants net access that badly? Fine, he wins. But that net access will be in your presence.

In the end, the most effective filtering software is him knowing that you could glance at his screen at any time and see what he's doing, and not in a threatening "I have this software and can peek in" kinda way, but a "other people are in the room with you, and you should act accordingly" kinda way.
 
Could he be using the neighbor's internet? I have about three password free connections besides my own that I could get onto.
 
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