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My son still has internet in his room! GRRRR
- Thread starter brobson
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And I respect you, sir! Candidly, would you even go to any site of a...disreputable nature at all? Everyone I know of your age wouldn't do so, but their parents block them anyway...
Made my day.
Why not just leave him with the internet?
Seems quite harsh taking it away and restricting him so much when he's nearly 17. I'm 20, and 3 years ago when I lived with my parents I had full internet access...heck I had to set up the home network!
People mature at different ages, but I think restricting him and treating him like a kid won't help him mature.
Seems quite harsh taking it away and restricting him so much when he's nearly 17. I'm 20, and 3 years ago when I lived with my parents I had full internet access...heck I had to set up the home network!
People mature at different ages, but I think restricting him and treating him like a kid won't help him mature.
I think you're on the right track.
What I would do is give him unrestricted access, but check on him once in a while. If and when he does something he shouldn't ,then kill the net.
I may not really know what I'm talking about, though, I'm 14.
parents nowadays are too nice
give him a desktop
take away the keyboard and mouse whenever you don't want him to use the computer
if all else fails, beat him
that will teach him never to disrespect you again and look for workarounds
give him a desktop
take away the keyboard and mouse whenever you don't want him to use the computer
if all else fails, beat him
that will teach him never to disrespect you again and look for workarounds
Brobson,
I've been thinking about this thread and my previous post. I apologize if it sounded calous.
I think the thing to do that is the least confrontational and also solves the problem best is to just move the computer and xbox into a public location.
He who has the greatest tech savvy will win the war of virtual access rights. But if you control physical access, you win.
Don
I've been thinking about this thread and my previous post. I apologize if it sounded calous.
I think the thing to do that is the least confrontational and also solves the problem best is to just move the computer and xbox into a public location.
He who has the greatest tech savvy will win the war of virtual access rights. But if you control physical access, you win.
Don
^^ Haha, I really laughed out loud when I read that.
Really it's not that hard to relocate the modem and router out of his room.
- js
Please re-read scaredpoet's post
To Brobson.
Sorry to butt in, but...
Please go back and re-read SCAREDPOET's post. It is by far the best of the lot with much wisdom and insight, obviously gained the hard way.
Morod
To Brobson.
Sorry to butt in, but...
Please go back and re-read SCAREDPOET's post. It is by far the best of the lot with much wisdom and insight, obviously gained the hard way.
Morod
But he IS a kid. He's not even 17 yet, In the U.S. you're an adult at 18 and considered grown at 25. Under 18 his parents have every right to control him.
Can I ask what exactly he has done to deserve losing internet privileges???
At the moment reading this thread really worries as i cannot find a reason anywhere that you are taking away this 'privilege'?
At the moment reading this thread really worries as i cannot find a reason anywhere that you are taking away this 'privilege'?
I think this post by Scaredpoet is very good advice.
brobson, I know it's not my place to question your parenting values (and I'm not trying to), but I'm curious. Specifically, what do you consider "bad" sites?
brobson, I know it's not my place to question your parenting values (and I'm not trying to), but I'm curious. Specifically, what do you consider "bad" sites?
I am not expert at all...
1. Pretty much everyone has said move the computer out of his room.
2. You can't handle this kid with gloves for the rest of your life. At some point he needs to overcome his problems. He will not have people(employers) handling with care the way you do.
Again, not an expert at all...
1. Pretty much everyone has said move the computer out of his room.
2. You can't handle this kid with gloves for the rest of your life. At some point he needs to overcome his problems. He will not have people(employers) handling with care the way you do.
Again, not an expert at all...
Ive read most of the posts in this thread, and i'm shocked at the fact your trying to stop/limit your 16 (soon to be 17!) year old son from going on the internet.
Now, this might just be my view, but im 16, and I pretty much rule the internet in my house - I'm the first who wanted it, and run a nice network in my house.
No one complains at me, no one limits me - Im the boss
@ OP - You have not clearly stated why you want to block him from accessing the internet? It may not be our business but personaly from my point of view - You should not be blocking his internet access.
He's 16, its what us teenagers do! We surf the net, chat to our friends and do some work.
I give him my up most respect on how hes been bypassing you
(You might not like that comment)
Now, this might just be my view, but im 16, and I pretty much rule the internet in my house - I'm the first who wanted it, and run a nice network in my house.
No one complains at me, no one limits me - Im the boss
@ OP - You have not clearly stated why you want to block him from accessing the internet? It may not be our business but personaly from my point of view - You should not be blocking his internet access.
He's 16, its what us teenagers do! We surf the net, chat to our friends and do some work.
I give him my up most respect on how hes been bypassing you
(You might not like that comment)
^^ You're sixteen you aren't an adult yet. Your parents do have the right to control your internet access, although I do agree to an extent its probably counter-productive to prevent it.
Arigatz!
I still can't tell though if you are being sarcastic though! Haha, My dad has a similar mindset.
1) Parental Controls
2) Pick up Mac Mini and bring it to his office
3)Let hell break loose
(if i log onto the deserted un-used PC taking up space while he is gone) To be honest, OP. YOur son is almost 17. Sooner or later he is going to be out of the house with his own internet.
Also with the router in his room he can plug it in when he needs it (ethernet) and plug it out when he don't. Simple.
It's true that they have the right, but that doesn't man it's always the best thing, or even the best solution when there's problems.
I agree wholeheartedly with scaredpoet's post. Making mistakes and learning from them--or being supervised from those mistakes if one didn't learn the first time--is a far, far better long-term solution. It is much easier to recover from bad choices while still in high school than college.
I agree that the OP, like any competent parent, has a right to raise his or her kid the way they see fit.
If this is how he's going to do it though, then I hate to say it, but I hope his kid isn't going to the college I work for. And I pity the IT guy(s) how have to contend with him, starting with the first time this kid's Mac gets flagged on the campus 'net.
I also pity the first victims of this kid's inevitable lulz-raid with other /b/-tards. That seems to be what many of the net-socially-inept wind up doing.
As others have stated, scaredpoet's post is spot on.
I don't mean this to be flamebait, so just take this as my own opinion:
Restricting internet access is like telling your kid that he can't go to the library or that he can't hang out with his friends. Restricting internet access pretty effectively limits his exposure to new interests. Of course the internet can be less than hospitable, but to completely restrict access because of that is, well, ignorant.
I'm 17, but in a different situation than your son. The internet has been incredibly enabling for me. If it weren't for the internet, I wouldn't be the programmer I am (Nor would I have that 3rd place medal in state for Computer Science). I'm probably more scholarly than most, but it doesn't necessarily stop there. Some of my friends have found interests in other things like finances (largely the stock markets) and politics.
I've made genuine friends through the internet and found awesome communities like macrumors. Why shouldn't your son be a part of it?
I know I come off as a jerk, but from my perspective, this sounds far more detrimental than you mean it be.
I don't mean this to be flamebait, so just take this as my own opinion:
Restricting internet access is like telling your kid that he can't go to the library or that he can't hang out with his friends. Restricting internet access pretty effectively limits his exposure to new interests. Of course the internet can be less than hospitable, but to completely restrict access because of that is, well, ignorant.
I'm 17, but in a different situation than your son. The internet has been incredibly enabling for me. If it weren't for the internet, I wouldn't be the programmer I am (Nor would I have that 3rd place medal in state for Computer Science). I'm probably more scholarly than most, but it doesn't necessarily stop there. Some of my friends have found interests in other things like finances (largely the stock markets) and politics.
I've made genuine friends through the internet and found awesome communities like macrumors. Why shouldn't your son be a part of it?
I know I come off as a jerk, but from my perspective, this sounds far more detrimental than you mean it be.
Girls are more in danger than boys because they mainly want to chat, and can end up in really bad associations. Boys just want to play games and view pr0n.
If he is smart, he will use a Guest Account from the mac to surf pr0n. When he logs off, all traces of his activities are erased permanently.
If he does not have admin access to the Mac, he will eventually get your admin password (via social engineering) and do whatever he wants.
If he cannot have your admin password, he can boot from a linux live CD (ubuntu) and surf pr0n from there, without leaving any trace.
if you try to block or filter his internet on the computer itself, it will not work because he can boot another OS (linux, windows) , or he can surf using a proxy server that bypasses the filtering. It is very easy to defeat.
If you try to block or filter at the router level, he can bypass the protection simply by plugging the computer directly to the modem. Or, he can use a little social engineering to have your admin password on the router.
If you try to block or filter using iBoss or any other router based filtering solution, it has to be locked somewhere with the modem, because he can bypass it easily (same as bypassing the router)
If you remove the internet completely, he will try to get access to neighbor's open internet signals.
If you remove the airport card, he still can buy a used one from someone at school and plug it in when he needs to access the net.
Anyway, that's what I would do if in your son's shoes. I would not have any rest until I can defeat the stupid measures you are trying to impose because you want to control me. It might be your right to do this, but the kid is 16, and he might resent you for the rest of his life because of your control issues.
I am now 36, father of a 5 year old son, and I know that it will be eventually impossible to control his internet behavior. Right now I do filter the internet for everyone in the house, but I know that as a teen he will find ways to circumvent the filters. I will log his activity until he is 14 or so, then I will let him use the internet as he sees fit. He will not have a computer in his room, but that will eventually be impossible to control because he can use an old laptop, an iPhone, a cell phone, an iTouch, a 3d goggle, anything that (in 2017) connects to the net.
Of course, if I see that he becomes a porn addict (causing him mental issues such as depression and isolation from others), I will discuss it with him to tell him about the dangers of it and offer help, but if he does it occasionally and it does not seem to affect his behavior, I will not alienate him from me just because I want complete control over him. Being firm, but reasonable, with him will show him an example to follow.
If he is smart, he will use a Guest Account from the mac to surf pr0n. When he logs off, all traces of his activities are erased permanently.
If he does not have admin access to the Mac, he will eventually get your admin password (via social engineering) and do whatever he wants.
If he cannot have your admin password, he can boot from a linux live CD (ubuntu) and surf pr0n from there, without leaving any trace.
if you try to block or filter his internet on the computer itself, it will not work because he can boot another OS (linux, windows) , or he can surf using a proxy server that bypasses the filtering. It is very easy to defeat.
If you try to block or filter at the router level, he can bypass the protection simply by plugging the computer directly to the modem. Or, he can use a little social engineering to have your admin password on the router.
If you try to block or filter using iBoss or any other router based filtering solution, it has to be locked somewhere with the modem, because he can bypass it easily (same as bypassing the router)
If you remove the internet completely, he will try to get access to neighbor's open internet signals.
If you remove the airport card, he still can buy a used one from someone at school and plug it in when he needs to access the net.
Anyway, that's what I would do if in your son's shoes. I would not have any rest until I can defeat the stupid measures you are trying to impose because you want to control me. It might be your right to do this, but the kid is 16, and he might resent you for the rest of his life because of your control issues.
I am now 36, father of a 5 year old son, and I know that it will be eventually impossible to control his internet behavior. Right now I do filter the internet for everyone in the house, but I know that as a teen he will find ways to circumvent the filters. I will log his activity until he is 14 or so, then I will let him use the internet as he sees fit. He will not have a computer in his room, but that will eventually be impossible to control because he can use an old laptop, an iPhone, a cell phone, an iTouch, a 3d goggle, anything that (in 2017) connects to the net.
Of course, if I see that he becomes a porn addict (causing him mental issues such as depression and isolation from others), I will discuss it with him to tell him about the dangers of it and offer help, but if he does it occasionally and it does not seem to affect his behavior, I will not alienate him from me just because I want complete control over him. Being firm, but reasonable, with him will show him an example to follow.
You can bring laws into it - but parents "controlling" their kids isn't a good thing. Invading their privacy by checking what they've been up to etc. Fair enough, you want them to stay out of trouble, but they need freedom too.
In the UK, the parent has legal right to control until 16.
I don't know how old you are but based on your defense for the OP's kid you sound like you are around his kid's age. This has nothing to do with what's good or not in terms of parenting do's and don'ts it's about parental rights and for the record the OP lives in the U.S so the age limits in the U.K are mute. It's totally understandable for parents to be alarmed at what their kids view or do on the internet. There are prowlers on the web especially on MySpace that coerce kids to do a lot of not-so-nice things.
Maybe in the UK we mature quicker than Americans. Legal age here for sex is 16 - to me, that is the age someone stops being a kid and becomes a youth. Calling a 17 year old a kid? We can drink legally here at 18, are you calling 18 year olds kids? 19 year old kids too? When do they stop being kids?
Yes there is not-so-nice people out there, but his son is nearly 17 - he needs to learn to take care of himself! Seriously, I see so many spoilt kids (not saying you spoil your son) around my University who just can't handle themselves. They are a hundred miles from home and have never lived away from home before. They were so dependant on their parents doing EVERYTHING for them. Key one here is looking out for them and stopping them doing stuff that they don't agree with.
If you keep doing that to your "kid" and not let him grow up and learn to take care of himself, could be damaging.
You're making unfounded assumptions simply because he's taking a side that disagrees with yours.
You're right that the UK laws are moot in this particular situation. And I don't think anyone here has said that the OP doesn't have the right to do as he pleases. We are, however, offering an alternative suggestion that will save the OP some headaches and relieve some animosity that his kid is probably feeling. And I think it's universally accepted that an angry kid is a kid who isn't going to learn what you're teaching.
Some of us know all too well what happens when those rights happen to be exercised in the way you and the OP are proposing. It ends up causing a LOT of problems much later on for the kid who has not been primed on what is good and not good on the 'net, and as soon as he moves out will abruptly have all of his restrictions lifted because Daddy can't remove the Airport card anymore. It becomes a headache for the OP when he discovers his kid's grades are slipping in college... or worse, was put on probation, or even asked to leave the college for doing inappropriate things online.
And then it becomes a headache for other people too, who don't WANT to mother other people's kids who have just turned into adults, all because the parent instead chose to avoid the issue and block access, rather than educate and supervise.
I submit that it's not parenting at all. It's just sticking your head in the sand and hoping the problem goes away. But, it never does. And in the US, yes, I suppose sticking your head in the sand is a god given right. I just wish I didn't have to deal with the consequences of other peoples ostrich-like behavior on a regular basis. And my employer wishes the same, but our frustrated hands are tied.
This isn't a new problem either. How did parents in the '80s, '70s, '60s and prior address the issue of x-rated magazines in the house? Eventually, the parent has to give their kids "The Talk," unless of course they choose to avoid the issue, restrict and punish severely without explaining why, and then send their kids out in the world, completely inept and uneducated at forming relationships.
This is just another instance of that same "talk." The sheltered kids are the ones that fare the worst in the real world. The educated kids, on the other hand, tend to avoid trouble far better.
That's why you SUPERVISE the kid and keep the computer in a public area, instead of leaving the computer in the kids' room and being blissfully unaware, then acting furious when you find out they've circumvented your filtering software.
I'm just curious, how did you teach your kid to drive? My father got in the car with me, explained how everything works, and supervised carefully while he took me out for test spins. He carefully detailed and demonstrated what I should and should not be doing. And even after I got my license, he set ground rules and occasionally rode with me to make sure I was still driving well, gradually releasing the reigns until I was fully independent in the car and was confident that I wouldn't do anything reckless. My low insurance rates today are a testament to his good parenting.
He didn't just buy me a car, park it in the driveway, hide the keys, and tell me I can't drive it until I leave the house, then walk away leaving behind a screwdriver and a slim jim.