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Realationship soon to be in flames?
- Thread starter TruthBeTold
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OP, I would resort to a serious talking session with your prospective partner. There is no substitute for clarity.
Nothing dishonest about offering a three-way to see what he says. Nothing untrustworthy about saying Hey I'm late, I might be pregnant just to see how he reacts.
Again- quit advising someone to be dishonest.
Yes, it is dishonest if she is not sincere about her offer of a threeway and knows damn well she's not pregnant. Those are both incredibly dishonest!
Why are you looking so far into the future? Move in together, see where that goes before you start dreaming about marriage. And as Skunk says, talk with your other.
Have you ever asked a potential boy-friend if they wanted to see a movie, not because you wanted to but because you wanted to see what kind of taste in entertainment they have? Same thing. Women are late and get worried all the time. People say they might be sick when they just have a simple headache all the time. They do this for attention, to see how their mates react, etc. If you want to be Mr Honesty, I'm sure you could find a bunch of threads right now where people are asking how to jb lost iPhones instead of asking how they could find the owner.
Honestly, I would have more respect for someone who JB a lost iPhone than someone who took your ****** advice in building a relationship
Yes because asking a boyfriend if they want to watch Pete's Dragon with me is somehow equal to telling him I'm carrying his spawn. Right.
As for being "late" and being worried, I don't even equate this to lying about being pregnant. Please tell me you're just kidding. Saying your maturity is in question is in no way calling you a name on any level conceivable by a rational and grounded human being. Twist much?
No, I have never asked a potential boyfriend if he wanted to see a movie just to see what his tastes are. I simply ask what kind of movies he likes. If I feel sick I say so. If I don't feel like doing something, I say so. If I need something from my BF I say so. I see no reason to "test" people. Why would I?
I really do feel bad for your kids.
The people who do this are not people I want to be with.
?? Oh. The 1940s called....
Yes because asking a boyfriend if they want to watch Pete's Dragon with me is somehow equal to telling him I'm carrying his spawn. Right.
Saying your maturity is in question is in no way calling you a name on any level conceivable by a rational and grounded human being. Twist much?
The movie analogy was about the three-some, not the pregnant thing. And yes, you did they same thing as just saying "you're a baby." No twist needed.
No I said your ability to be adult is called into question. Adult meaning mature. I'm sorry I have to outline this for you. Let me restate ... your advice suggests that you are incapable of thinking on a level that most adults would be on today.
Equating asking my boyfriend if he wants to watch a movie to asking him about a threesome as a way to "find out what he likes" shows a level of immaturity that you simply cannot fake. If you truly believe that the two are somehow equal then that is a shame. Something tells me if you were tested in the very ways you suggest the OP tests her boyfriend, you would be less than thrilled.
When is the last time a girl walked up to you (outside of your wife) and said "I'm having your baby" and then turned around and said "oh got you! Just wanted to see what you'd say!" Any rational, grounded, mature man would not put up with that and if they did, then that man needs to find whomever is holding their balls and ask for them back.
If you cannot be honest and up front with someone you supposedly love or like enough to **** and shack up with, then what lesson are you teaching your kids today? Or is that something you're leaving for the public school system to figure out?
FTR, I am not attacking your family by any means, I am, in fact, questioning your character. Like the OP I think character has long since left this thread.
Let's recap for those just joining us:
OP: I am concerned about my BF's level of commitment to me, how do I know?
stevensteven123: To find out if you can trust him... Lie to him and be deceptive. 1. Tell him you are pregnant and see how he reacts, and then lie again and tell him the doctor ****ed it up. 2. Ask him if he wants a 3 way with one of your hot friends and see how he reacts.
OR
everyone else: Talk to your significant other and be open and honest
Hmmmmm... six of one or half dozen of the other I know...
OP: I am concerned about my BF's level of commitment to me, how do I know?
stevensteven123: To find out if you can trust him... Lie to him and be deceptive. 1. Tell him you are pregnant and see how he reacts, and then lie again and tell him the doctor ****ed it up. 2. Ask him if he wants a 3 way with one of your hot friends and see how he reacts.
OR
everyone else: Talk to your significant other and be open and honest
Hmmmmm... six of one or half dozen of the other I know...
Psst…..it’s not that kind of three-way.
I also added, go to a counselor, who handles these kind of things.
I never said it was great advice, Just giving her options. I'm sure the open and honest thing already crossed her mind, so what help does anyone give her by restating the obvious?
Thanks for all the useful advice. It's time I sit down and have an honest, serious conversation with my partner.
A lot of y'all have good points. As for looking into the future- I don't think it should be completely out of the question. I wouldn't take the time/effort of living with a guy if I didn't see a future with him.
Didn't think the thread would take this route
A lot of y'all have good points. As for looking into the future- I don't think it should be completely out of the question. I wouldn't take the time/effort of living with a guy if I didn't see a future with him.
Didn't think the thread would take this route
Thanks for all the useful advice. It's time I sit down and have an honest, serious conversation with my partner.
A lot of y'all have good points. As for looking into the future- I don't think it should be completely out of the question. I wouldn't take the time/effort of living with a guy if I didn't see a future with him.
Didn't think the thread would take this route
These threads always will. There will always be some who want to be funny, others who feel that your punishment for coming here asking for random love advice should be poor advice, and then some genuinely want to help. I just hope you at least own something with the name Apple on it otherwise MacRumors needs to rethink their keywords.
You're right, I cannot see past ideas outside honesty. The fact is I'm kinda of an f'up in that respect.
Thanks for all the useful advice. It's time I sit down and have an honest, serious conversation with my partner.
A lot of y'all have good points. As for looking into the future- I don't think it should be completely out of the question. I wouldn't take the time/effort of living with a guy if I didn't see a future with him.
Didn't think the thread would take this route
But does your partner know this? Seems like it should be something he knows, just in case he doesn't feel that way. (not to rain on your parade or anything.)
That's OK then. Come back for any further relationship advice you may need.Yes he knows that.
As for Jessica, no worries I own multiple Appleproducts!
Don't ever confuse what you want to be true of your relationship with what you see with your eyes. One of the most common sources of relationship disaster I've seen happens when people fall in love with the person they think their lover could be if only s/he would stop doing all that other stuff that makes them miserable. All that other stuff is your lover, and you have to act accordingly. That doesn't mean leave. It just means you have to find a way to make your life bearable with the fact of those other things taken into account.
I think the whole "pregnant" approach would blow up in my face. Our relationship could take two routes: end or he would react "appropriately" then discover I was lying and our relationship would end.
I can tell you that, were it me, the second option would be a sure bet. I don't want to come back here in a month and see some random guy asking for advice about this crazy girl who lied about being pregnant to manipulate him and all of MR obligingly telling him to run and he dodged a bullet, because that's how that game plays out on the other side.