I wasn't putting the watch down nor being a spoiled whiny ******. I just want to know if anyone else is having all those issues and put them in one thread. Good for people that have the watch working perfectly. But for someone having trouble, it's a bit hard to scour for every problem and solution. Maybe something useful will come out of it for people having problems.
Here's the thing... are you an early adopter of first generation Apple products?
Because, many of the things on your list can be written off to early adopter issues. Your screen freezes sometimes. Big deal. This is a thing that happens with first gen stuff. If I had returned my first gen iPhone the first time I had my screen freeze (or the 40th, for that matter) and if everyone else had done it too? There wouldn't be an iPhone right now. It's just the nature of the early adopter thing.
If my Apple Watch screen freezes, I just reboot the damned thing and go on about my business. It doesn't happen often enough for me to be concerned, especially since we don't even have watchOS2 yet.
If it bothers you? Return it already. I think you should anyway because it sounds like you got a dud. And you're allergic to it. The one thing mine has given me zero issues with entirely is my ability to wear it without breaking out in a rash or some such. I also haven't had my crown stick and I cannot say as I've had taps growing weaker over time (that seems more like you got used to it than it actually got weaker, but maybe yours did since it seems to be a dud).
The others have all happened to me at least once or twice. No big deal, really.