As you see dexterbell, not everyone's needs are the same as yours. You value power, ports and larger screen. Others value lightness, fanless, don't need ports as often as you, don't need as much power as you and don't mind the smaller screen, in fact they might even prefer it.
"As I said, the sleek Macbook won't look so pretty with a foot long, multiple headed monstrosity hanging off the side of it. If you have the Macbook on your lap, where are you putting the dongle? Drape it over your legs? Real comfortable and stylish haha"
You assume people have that much needs for the ports. If they don't need ports so often, they won't need the dongle.
I don't see the problem..
You're basically arguing that everyone should get what YOU need. If I need a large pickup-truck, does that mean that that kind of car suits everyone? Why would you NOT want a big powerful truck that can pack tons of stuff?! It's basically the same as your "Why wouldn't you want more power, larger screen and better GPU".
We get it, you like the MBP 13". Now you get it, people will like the MB 12" and your continuous ranting won't change their needs nor their minds.