Starting College and Terrified

Discussion in 'Community Discussion' started by ghall, Oct 5, 2008.

  1. ghall macrumors 68040

    ghall

    Joined:
    Jun 27, 2006
    Location:
    Rhode Island
    #1
    I start college tomorrow, and I'm having some trouble. I have posted before that I have anxiety problems (a while ago actually), and I have made lots of progress but it plays a huge part in why I'm scared to go to college.

    Of course I have all the normal anxieties of college, I could deal with that if it was all it was. But I have anxieties on top of that, mostly things that are huge deals to me but would seem silly to other people.

    I have trouble in certain settings where there are a lot of people, high school was fine for me because it was a small school but college is completely different. It's also literally impossible for me to cross large roads which I will have to do to catch my bus home. I also have a real tough time with corridors, which there are plenty of at the college I'm going to. And those are just the major issues.

    Sure they seem minor to most people, but to someone like me, they're the most daunting things in the world.

    On top of all that, in my past experience, I just get left in the dust in a college environment. I took a college class in high school and never finished it because I couldn't handle getting lost so easily. And at my college orientation a few weeks ago I had no idea what the hell was going on.

    I'm thinking I'm not ready for college but my family won't here it. I suggested that I try again next year, maybe take classes in the mean time so I'm not thrown into the college environment all at once.

    Of course, on top of all this I don't even want to go to college. I think it's retarded how I need a stupid piece of paper for people to take me seriously. I'm very passionate about what I do, I'm probably just as good as someone with a college degree. But again, my family is bent on convincing me that I do want to go to college.

    I know that's a lot of crazy stuff going through my head but there you have it. I'm really frustrated and lost right now.


    PS: This is serious, not a part of my "Ghall Saga". I will ask the mods to delete any comments like "oh no not another one", or anything else non-constructive.
     
  2. Beric macrumors 68020

    Beric

    Joined:
    Jan 22, 2008
    Location:
    Bay Area
    #2
    Hmmm... I guess I can sympathize with you. I just started college full-time, but have been attending it as a part-time HS student for 5 quarters. During my HS years, I procrastinated and yet managed to do the bare minimum to get a B+ or A. I don't have a major because I've procrastinated on deciding on one. And I dislike college, like you, and understand how you feel about the uselessness of a degree. However, I have a basic understanding that degrees are the way it's done, like it or not, and fighting the college system, however stupid and useless it is, won't get you anywhere in the long run.

    Hope I was of some help. :cool:
     
  3. MacNut macrumors Core

    MacNut

    Joined:
    Jan 4, 2002
    Location:
    CT
    #3
    Just curious but why are you starting a month late and are you on campus or living home.

    I thought high school was much worse than college in trying to fit in. Everyone is more grown up in college and won't judge you as much.
     
  4. ghall thread starter macrumors 68040

    ghall

    Joined:
    Jun 27, 2006
    Location:
    Rhode Island
    #4
    Well I guess. I feel less crazy about my opinions.



    The school I'm going to (New England Tech) has a very strange schedule and classes for freshmen start in October. And I'm living at home.

    My problem isn't fitting in. I could care less about that. My problem is all the extra baggage that comes with my anxiety disorder. On top of my feeling not ready and the fact that I have very little interest in going. If it was just the fact that I didn't want to go I'd have no trouble and I could just make it interesting for myself.
     
  5. MacNut macrumors Core

    MacNut

    Joined:
    Jan 4, 2002
    Location:
    CT
    #5
    Do you take any meds or see someone about it. The problem is that if you put it off you will still have the same fear in a year. How did you conquer the issues in high school. Just think of college the same way.
     
  6. TheAnswer macrumors 68030

    TheAnswer

    Joined:
    Jan 25, 2002
    Location:
    Orange County, CA
    #6
    What are you studying Ghall?

    Also, are you taking meds and/or therapy for your anxiety?
     
  7. montanachad macrumors regular

    montanachad

    Joined:
    Jul 7, 2008
    Location:
    Helena, Montana and Lacey, Washington
    #7
    I share your concerns. Psychologists have diagnosed me with schizo affective disorder and bipolar, and I feel nervous in a classroom setting. So, I take classes online.
     
  8. toolbox macrumors 68020

    toolbox

    Joined:
    Oct 6, 2007
    Location:
    Australia (WA)
    #8
    Hey ghall

    I no how you feel dude, i too have a anxiety problem, Although i am taking medication for it, i seem to be making some progress. before i couldn't even go into town and walk through the shopping centre. Now i am able to.

    My parents are going on a holiday, and because of where i am at with this disorder i can't do because it get so worked up which for some going on a holiday is awesome and exciting but for me it isn't.

    I guess the advise for you, if you can maybe if they provide maps and screen shots of the college you can have a look and see were u have to go or what the grounds look like, or if you can on the weekends have a walk around there (if they allow it)
     
  9. JLatte macrumors 6502

    Joined:
    Dec 2, 2005
    Location:
    San Diego
    #9
    No offense, but you still seem relatively immature when it comes to getting on with your responsibilities. You sound as if you try to find as many excuses as possible to not go to school. Getting lost so easily? I understand being lost for about a week, but if you were actually determined, you would have found a way to make it happen if you were serious.

    Once again, just making excuses, this has nothing to do with anxiety. You need to grow up and get your focus together, stop trying to find every reason why you shouldn't get 'thrown into the college environment all at once.'

    Once again, pure immaturity. Of course there are some people that have been very successful and don't have a college degree. But those people worked their asses off. You're passionate about what you do? Prove it. You think you're so good and don't need a degree? Prove it. Stop making the excuses because they make you sound weak and immature. If you want to prove to your family that you don't need college, then you should have done that a long time ago. Work hard, make enough money, move out, and make a life for yourself, start a business, get a job in your 'passion' if you're so great. Your problem is that you don't want to have to work for it. The stupid thing about college is that essentially it just proves that you have dedication to stick to something for a set period of time. Something that you can't seem to be able to do.

    I have no idea about your "Ghall Saga", nor do I care. I don't know who you are, I'm just giving you constructive criticism. Don't mistake my harsh tone with personal attack, this is absolutely nothing personal, this is how you are perceived in the eyes of someone that doesn't share your point of view, so don't get offended. Cheers, and good luck in life.
     
  10. Beric macrumors 68020

    Beric

    Joined:
    Jan 22, 2008
    Location:
    Bay Area
    #10
    Really, be very careful of taking any meds. They can be addictive and hurt you in the long run.

    And can you just sit down with your parents and have a discussion adult-to-adult? Or is it not like that? My parents nearly always have been reasonable when we disagreed. Parents generally are willing to sit down and talk with their kids. They probably do care about you, as hard as I've found to believe it myself at times. ;)

    EDIT:
    I'm afraid that constructive criticism is really not what he needs at this time. I've gone through plenty of periods of general discouragement, and believe me, I've never appreciated criticism (even constructive) at those times.
     
  11. ghall thread starter macrumors 68040

    ghall

    Joined:
    Jun 27, 2006
    Location:
    Rhode Island
    #11
    I'm studying "graphic design technology". I'm not sure what that means exactly but it sounded like what I wanted to do. :D

    I take meds but they can only do so much. I saw many different people about it and I've made a lot of progress.


    It was something I looked at, and almost went through with until my family intervened. They didn't want me to do it, because they want me to do it exactly like they did it.



    I actually went on a tour and I have a very good memory when it comes to the way things are arranged and located in relation to one another, plus it's small, so finding my way around is one of the few non-issues in this whole problem.

    But it makes me feel better that other people understand me, though I wish for their sake they didn't.
     
  12. TheAnswer macrumors 68030

    TheAnswer

    Joined:
    Jan 25, 2002
    Location:
    Orange County, CA
    #12
    I think that issue is probably best left between Ghall and his doctors. We have no idea how to judge the positives vs. negatives of any medication he may be on or that his doctors may wish to put him on.
     
  13. toolbox macrumors 68020

    toolbox

    Joined:
    Oct 6, 2007
    Location:
    Australia (WA)
    #13
    I couldn't do that, mine would either make fun of me or i would end up getting into a argument or at one stage we had people over and they decieded to make fun of something i had said earlier I find people don't understand what people with anxeity disorders go through, half the time if i don't want to do something my "family" call me a ***** or tell me to get back in my room etc. But if something is bugging you tell someone you feel a lot better. When i did counseling, i felt like a huge weight was lifted. I also have a colleague here at work who has had this disorder. We talk to each other about things. -- Sorry for my rant --
     
  14. NT1440 macrumors G4

    NT1440

    Joined:
    May 18, 2008
    Location:
    Hartford, CT
    #14
    OP, i think a good nights rest would help alot too. Why are u on at 1 in the morning ?
     
  15. Beric macrumors 68020

    Beric

    Joined:
    Jan 22, 2008
    Location:
    Bay Area
    #15
    True, but I've only witnessed negatives of these types of meds with my own personal experiences. If the OP is sure it's right, go ahead, but be VERY careful. Med's aren't always the only solution, nor is a quick-fix always the best.

    EDIT:
    Because he's as addicted to here as I am. It's only 10:00 here, but I'm sure I'll be up till 12, as much as I don't want to be.
     
  16. ghall thread starter macrumors 68040

    ghall

    Joined:
    Jun 27, 2006
    Location:
    Rhode Island
    #16
    The meds I take are not supposed to be addictive.

    I have tried to sit down but they just say that I'm making excuses. If they could get inside my head, they wouldn't be saying that. And I have gone to counselors and they haven't helped.

    I can't sleep.
     
  17. TheAnswer macrumors 68030

    TheAnswer

    Joined:
    Jan 25, 2002
    Location:
    Orange County, CA
    #17
    Awesome. Like others have said that "little piece of paper" is pretty important. Stick with it. I dropped out and recently went back to complete my degree so I'd have more options career wise.

    Ok, at least you are making progress. Do you therapists have any suggestions for your "obstacles" (the road, corridors, etc)

    In your first post, you mentioned getting lost...this post, you're not getting lost spatially on the campus...so how are you getting lost?
     
  18. ghall thread starter macrumors 68040

    ghall

    Joined:
    Jun 27, 2006
    Location:
    Rhode Island
    #18
    Actually I haven't posted as much as I used to. I've tried to pull away from MR and do other stuff.
     
  19. NT1440 macrumors G4

    NT1440

    Joined:
    May 18, 2008
    Location:
    Hartford, CT
    #19
    I think he meant academically.
     
  20. Beric macrumors 68020

    Beric

    Joined:
    Jan 22, 2008
    Location:
    Bay Area
    #20
    It's quite possible your biological clock is used to staying up late. Is that so?
     
  21. ghall thread starter macrumors 68040

    ghall

    Joined:
    Jun 27, 2006
    Location:
    Rhode Island
    #21
    I meant lost in the crowd, I don't stand up for myself very well. I'm pretty meek actually, and if you've seen pictures of me you'd probably be surprised.
     
  22. ghall thread starter macrumors 68040

    ghall

    Joined:
    Jun 27, 2006
    Location:
    Rhode Island
    #22
    I'm sure that's not helping. But I went to bed early the past few nights and I fell asleep fine.
     
  23. toolbox macrumors 68020

    toolbox

    Joined:
    Oct 6, 2007
    Location:
    Australia (WA)
    #23
    I was the same, i couldn't sleep or when i did i was waking up at odd hours of the night and just laying there.

    When you did see the counselor, did you do what they suggested? Mine gave me breathing excersises like Deep breaths, Set goals for your self eg, say in a shop for 10 minutes by your self or walk around town for 10 minutes by your self
     
  24. ghall thread starter macrumors 68040

    ghall

    Joined:
    Jun 27, 2006
    Location:
    Rhode Island
    #24
    I have done that, and because of that is the reason I can leave the house and go places. But it's easier where I live, it's a nice small quiet town, whereas my school is in the middle of a pretty heavily developed area.
     
  25. Beric macrumors 68020

    Beric

    Joined:
    Jan 22, 2008
    Location:
    Bay Area
    #25
    Wow, that's a bit harder. I'm a natural outgoing person, I believe, but I know it's harder to get that way if you aren't born with it, as evidenced by my siblings. But it really takes some more serious effort to reach out and meet people, who can experience first-hand the same things you're going though. I've met a lot of great people during my quarters of college as a HS student. It really wasn't hard for me, but I can't speak for you.
     

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