I don't think you are going to win this argument. For one thing, the products you are listing aren't really comparable. For another, any hidden menu would be well out of normal users eyes and abilities to access, but those who were interested would be able to make changes.
I promise that if I walked up to you and showed off my phone with lightning fast animations, and told you I could do your phone in 10 seconds, youd beg me to do it. How do I know? Because whenever I jailbreak my iPhones, I install an app that speeds up animations. People without fail beg me to speed theirs up. "Why doesn't apple just do that?" is a question I've heard 100x.
The difference is not everyone wants to JB. With a native settings app, we may not have to.